Top or Bottom

I was watching the Huffington Post Live Program on Roku and was so happy to watch a program on the subject of top or bottom in the gay community because this is one of the most confusing things about us that confuses everyone.. I know that the majority of gay men are versatile but at the same time I’ve met  guys that will only f* or get f*. But that is only the minority. We in the community talk about it like it was so important that it would be impossible or extremely hard for two tops or two bottoms to have a good sexual relationship.

 At the same time some of us know that the phrase do not refer to merely  f*ng but to the role that each player is going to feel more comfortable doing for the other guy. There are guys that are what I call “go getters” or very active in taking over and directing the experience, what ever it might be. Our community is very liquid for lack of a better word and there is so many ‘likes or dislikes’ that can be confusing to the guy that comes out to himself. I know I was, totally. When I was with guys that wanted to do what I knew I wanted to do because it was the only thing I knew how to do and enjoyed very much, but it was limited. Then I started having problems with guys I really wanted to be with but would not do what they wanted to do. So a great experience was lost just for lack of knowledge.
 I solved my problem by going to the book store in the West Village(no longer there) and reading a book on how to have gay sex. That did the trick for me. It was fustrating knowing that I was gay yet not know how to have all the aspects of a healthy gay life. The way I define it now, no longer being 21 is that I will do what ever as long as we both like it and poses no danger to either one or I should say a minimum of danger because if you think about it there is a level of danger on any sex, be gay or straight. Nurses and Doctors in most emergency rooms will attest to that.

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