The Professional Gay
I came out because I wanted to be like everyone else. The year I came out was the year to march on my first ‘gay parade.’ I’d heard so much about it after being having kind of a negative view from what I saw from it watching news clips every year. The closest circles of gay friends I had they all were pro’s at it so I felt I had to experience it. It was a liberating act and it felt like it felt like civil disobedience even though it was not. Taking off my shirt and marching up fifth avenue with the tightest jeans my balls would allow chanting and dancing at the beat of Diana Ross I’m coming out felt for the first time in my life proud of who I was.
Did I become a professional gay? I tried but could never get my credentials. Others out there out dressed me, out traveled me and out fucked me and believe me that was hard to do. By the time I had my first long term relationship people in relationships I knew were breaking up. The pressure to be with just one guy when everybody was dancing, marching and doing fire Island was just too much.
I don’t want you to loose respect for me but I never been to fire Island. I have been to plenty of Islands to do what gay people have been doing there, but I was only invited once and that was by the guy I was dating and after saying yes, the day before I glided out of it. I also lost interest on the guy I was kinda seeing because I knew what people did there and I though we were already doing it. Don’t judge me, just keep reading! People thought that being out in a happy carefree way was the best way to be. There were plenty of gays in New York and San Francisco but nobody was working at anything else but having fun.
Yes! There were gays working on our future very seriously. But being gay at the moment was more fun.
It was admirable how guys and gals would make room in their lives for politics and demonstrations and for networking to bring the right politicians to power. From day one I felt also that was the way. Before every vote I would research without a computer(?) the candidates to see if they were ‘our’ candidate. This is when the wired phone was king.
Today we have come so far because many have worked so hard to make things happen. Making relationships with straights as openly gays to show that we are just like them and should be treated the same way. There is not time for kudus now because we are in the middle of the fight. Every gay person that comes out just by purely coming out is contributing to the day in which no one has to come out. At the same time there is the gay guy who out or not has to wear the uniform of being gay. You don’t have to be out to be gay and you don’t have to be gay to be out, but you do have to have the look.
I am not talking about fashion trends that are just that trends that come and go. Nor amI talking politics. I am talking about just the look. The look that even sometimes transcends being gay because straights would sometimes copy the look making some us sometimes get confuse and make that eye contact with the wrong guy. The look in which we all wear the same underwear, pants by the same designers and sport the same hair cut. You know the one that only the best best gay hag or head queen at that expensive salon will give you. I am not being critical of that because I don’t like to criticize family. I am just an observant of looks.
This non-trend of looking gay is what I call the ‘professional gay’ and as a matter of fact you don’t have to be gay to fall in this basket. I am talking about a look hat assimilates guys. This used to be true and is with girls before it hit the male population. Whorish, trendy whorish or just red hair fun whorish.The male population regardless of age have fallen prey that ’look.’ I never minded the look even if it went to risquĂ©. The only risquĂ© look I don’t like is showing your buns because that is entirely a different message a guy that does that is trying to convey to others. I am talking about the used of the same styles, trends, clothes and other products everyone is using to convey they are gay or there are open minded about being gay or being open minded about gays which sometimes makes the bottom with a girl or with a guy if they are drunk and horny. That is if you are straight not gay. If you are gay and does all the things I tried to enumerate, then you are just professional in a look you want to convey or professional gay.
What is wrong with this? Absolutedly nothing. I already warned you I am an observant of looks and the ‘professional gay’ is definably just a look. Not a trend because the professional gay is with us to stay.
Why mentioned it if I am not critical of it? That is the point. This is a look I try not to have even though I do have my ‘falling off the wagon’ occasions. But I am not going to be critical in public of my family. One on one might be different. We are a community that has been marginalized for so long that there are so many things I could be critical of because they are not me but because I understand how hard (is not for all but many of us if not most of us) is been to come from straight families and institutions and still get up in the morning being proud of who we are because it is who were are and in this life there are no refund no exchanges for the type of person you were born as.
You can change your fashion, your hair and your friends but you is always you. So in the spirit of killing hate and ignorance which manifests in many ways in as a duck in a Chinese kitchen. I salute all kind of gays professional or not.
Adam Gonzalez, Publisher
ps: The season of Christmas being here and a New Year approaching adamfoxie.blogsspot.com will curtail it’s publishing. With well over 100,000 postings I am sure you could find something to tight you over the next few days.
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