Showing posts with label Sex Education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex Education. Show all posts

October 2, 2017

Some Basic Things Lesbians Can Teach Gay Men About Sex

There’s so much mystery surrounding lesbian sex—even among our gay brethren. Our culture stereotypes gay guys as connoisseurs of sex, but there’s plenty they could learn about the bedroom from queer girls—and I’m not talking positions (though that too). 
Below, I share just a few lessons. There will be a quiz after. 
  1. Try a little romance.

    Should you actually like the person you’re about have sex with, try setting the mood before diving in. Straighten up. Make your bed—hell, put on new sheets. 
    And music is key: Play a little bit of Sade, or something off Spotify’s “Love, Sex & Water” playlist. If you want to get real lez on ’em, put on Melissa Ferrick’s “Drive” and just try to keep his hands off you. 
  2. Consent is sexy AF.

    I’m not saying gay men don’t talk about what they want, but queer women are especially versed in having conversations about what is and isn’t going to work for them. People joke about lesbians processing everything but these little Q&As can be as hot as they are essential. 
    Trust me, the experience will be all the better because you know exactly what your partner needs. 
  3. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.

    If going from zero to 60 in seconds flat is your M.O., that’s totally cool—except you’re missing out on a lot of delicious tension (and the oh-so-good ecstasy of release). 
    Don’t forget the erogenous zones—like neck, earlobes, and nipples. (Pretty sure dudes have them, too). This is when being a tease is a good thing.
  4. There’s power in being versatile.

    Yes, even some queer ladies identify as bottoms or tops. But most of the time, we’re down to switch it up, depending on our partner, our mood, or, hell, the cycle of the moon. 
    Don’t be so rigid, guys. Give the other side a try. 
  5. Try something new.

    On the whole, guys figure out what makes them climax sooner than women do. But all those years we spend “researching” give us a wealth of experience—and an understanding that whatever works is just swell. 
    Use your hands, everywhere and anywhere. And don’t be afraid of sex toys: They aren’t “replacing” anything, just adding to the awesomeness. (Trust me.) 
  6. Learn to laugh at yourselves.

    Sex is funny—it just is. But the more we act like we’re on a porn set, the less fun it is. So lighten the fuck up. Did you get a strand of hair in your mouth? Are your bodies making funny noises as they slap together? It’s not embarrassing, it’s part of the ride. 
    Learn to LOL and you’ll have a more enjoyable time.
  7. Have a little bedside manner.

    We get it: sometimes sex is just sex. But even in a casual hookup you shouldn’t shut down the second you come. Compliment your partner, or ask them if they had a good time—just check in with them somehow. 
    Even if you never run into them again, you don’t want a rude reputation to follow you like a virtual Yelp review
Trish Bendix is a Los Angeles-based writer.

November 23, 2015

Wether top or bottom You Should know These 4 Classifications



Condoms: The gold standard of safe sex. Condoms are highly effective at preventing HIV transmission when used correctly. Condoms are a simple and easy protection method that will keep you and your partner safe.
PrEP: Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), the daily dose of an anti-HIV medication, is 99 percent effective at preventing HIV transmission when used correctly. Truvada is the only drug approved so far for use in prevention. According to recent reports, the vast majority of gay men do not wear condoms 100 percent of the time. PrEP is an excellent tool to keep you safe if you and your partner do not wear a condom for whatever reason. Although PrEP does not prevent against other STDs, a prescription for PrEP does require regular doctor’s visits, which include routine lab work, so it allows for the user to take control of their sex life and stay engaged in their sexual health.
PEP: This prevention method, known as post-exposure prophylaxis, is meant for use only when someone believes that they have been exposed to HIV with risk of transmission. This is not an active prevention strategy, but a reactive precaution that is available to you if you need it.
TasP: Treatment as prevention, known as TasP, is when an HIV-positive person is on antiretroviral treatment and achieves an undetectable viral load. When a person reaches an undetectable status, they reduce their risk of transmission by at least  96 percent. To date, there have been zero confirmed cases of HIV transmission by an undetectable person.

May 5, 2015

Evidence Indicates {Harvey Proctor S e X Ring Leader in Westminster}


 Harvey Proctor

In the context of recent speculation and allegations on the internet, I write this to say that I am innocent of the allegations against me and I will maintain this stance until my dying breath.
On Wednesday 4 March 2015, the Metropolitan Police’s Operation Midland Team raided my home and, under a warrant investigating historical child sexual abuse, searched my house for 15 hours. I was told at 11pm that  no statement would be issued to the press and my identity would not come out. That was not the case.

If not before, then within eight hours of the police leaving my home, details of the raid were leaked to the national media. ExaroNews – an odd internet news agency – was tipped off before the police left my home. Mark Conrad, a journalist for the agency, was phoning and emailing my office at 9.34pm – at least 90 minutes before the police left my house.

During and immediately after the search, I volunteered to be interviewed by the Metropolitan Police concerning Operation Midland’s investigations relating to allegations from the 1970s and Eighties.
My solicitors – Messrs Sakhi and Gatrad of Sakhi Solicitors, Leicester – arranged for me to be interviewed  on Monday 23 March 2015. The police initially confirmed that it was convenient and then cancelled the interview at short notice, due to “circumstances beyond [the officer’s] control”. The appointment was rearranged for  Tuesday 14 April 2015. It was through no fault of my own that on Thursday 9 April 2015 the police again cancelled the interview, scheduled for 14 April 2015. 
They have not contacted my solicitors since then.

In an email to my solicitors, they referred to themselves as the “organisation”.
So the “organisation” – strange term for the Metropolitan Police’s Murder Squad – has raided my house, searched it for 15 hours, removed my communications and computer equipment and many boxes of historic documents and other irrelevant material from the 1970s and Eighties, prompted me to retire from my job of 13 years and to leave my home. They have ruined 28 years of my life’s rehabilitation after 1987 and they are not prepared to meet me and interview me. They have said to my solicitors, but not to the media, that I am not a suspect and they merely wish for me to assist the police with their inquiries. 

In 1987, Detective Chief Superintendent Drummond Marvin of Scotland Yard’s Serious Crime Squad was the officer in charge of my prosecution. I pleaded guilty to four charges of gross indecency. Offences which, because of the changes in the law regarding the homosexual age of consent, are no longer offenses.

Chief Superintendent Marvin subsequently wrote a book and sold his story to The Sun newspaper. He wrote about three of his cases: Lord Lucan, Russell Harty and myself. In the article about me he stated for the first time, as far as I am aware, the felonious notion that there was a rent-boy ring at Westminster. If there was one, I was not aware of it, it was news to me and I was not part of it. Marvin’s article was wrong on this and on other matters. 

I have always tried to protect my privacy – not because I thought I was breaking the law, but because I consider sexual matters to be private, except where  they are illegal. Not just for me but for everyone. I refuse to comment on these matters now save to say anything and everything I have done has been consensual. But with alarming frequency, when I was visited by the police in 1987, journalists from the Sunday People were outside my flat. 

I have not flaunted my sexuality. It is the press and the police who have time and time again invaded my privacy. In 1987, the press wired a witness for sound and was sent into my apartment. The police trawled the gay bars of London, showing my photograph to all and sundry, asking: “Have you slept with this man?” Today the modern-day equivalent is for senior police officers to go on the airways enticing so called “victims” to come out of the woodwork, telling them, without even speaking to them, that they would be believed. 

Now, the guide to misinformation and the oracle of disinformation is the internet. It is a totally impossible media with which to engage, as  hundreds of thousands of comments appear daily, with no chance of rebuttal.

At the behest of a weird assortment of alleged victims, ex-police officers, bishops, social workers, attention seekers and “nutters”, former, respected politicians have had their reputations trashed without a shred of evidence – Sir Leon Brittan, Sir Keith Joseph, Dr Rhodes Boyson and Enoch Powell to name but a few. They are dead; they cannot defend themselves. I am alive; I can and I will.
Enough is enough. Someone has to stand up and say the Emperor is wearing no clothes.
So let me be straight with you the media, and through you, the police:
* I have not murdered anyone.
* I have not been involved with the sexual or other abuse of children or anyone else.
* I have not visited the Elm Guest House in Rocks Lane, Barnes, London. I was not aware of its existence.
* I have not attended sex parties at Dolphin Square, London.
* I have not attended sex parties with other MPs or ministers.
* I have not visited a so-called dungeon in Pimlico.
* I have not abused anyone.
* I have not attended sex parties during Conservative Party Conferences at Brighton or Blackpool and I am sure none took place.
* I was not part of a Westminster rent-boy ring in the 1970s and Eighties. I cannot believe such a ring existed. 
* I have witnessed the growing  paranoia among various police “organisations” with disbelief and disgust. 
I wish to place on record my admiration for the work the uniformed bobby does and has done, and which I have seen at first hand in my old constituencies of Basildon and Billericay, in the London borough of Richmond upon Thames during my work with the Chamber of Commerce, and at Belvoir Castle.
The higher up the police command chain, however, the less I see to admire. For example, I find it incredible that a senior police officer has said on the media that a “victim’s” evidence is “credible” before an investigation has been completed or a prosecution launched. It would not be acceptable in any other police investigation and is outright prejudicial from the very outset to any impending investigation. 
So I know now the risk I am about to take. The risk of the “organisation” seeking out trivia and revenge to undermine me in response to what I am about to say to you; but here goes.
It’s time – with the spending on these enquiries approaching £100m – to say to the police and the Director of Public Prosecutions: 
* Put up or shut up.
* Arrest me; charge me; try me.
* If you have evidence against me, bring it on!
* To the Metropolitan Police commissioner and other chief police officers, I say: get a grip. Direct your “organisation’s” scarce resources to conquering current crime and address current law and order issues. Redirect some of these scarce resources, for example, to the Missing People charity in East Sheen if you really care for missing people.
* To the media I say: use your investigative powers to analyze what you are told about historic sexual child abuse fairly and properly. 

* Finally, to the politicians, who are currently culling favour with the electorate: what are you doing to redress the balance between the alleged victims who can keep their anonymity and the alleged abusers who cannot? When will innocent before being found guilty be more than just a totem of a supposedly liberal society? Who are the guardians of our liberty now?
And, in the end, why is all this happening ?

Well, the only people deemed more unpopular than the media, journalists, police and politicians with the general public are paedophiles. So they are all pursuing this issue to try to get on the good side of the people of this country and rehabilitate themselves from their past lapses.

I do not wish anyone to think I am just saying these things now. I made my position clear – and with prescience – in an article I wrote for the London Evening Standard in December 1987.  
In conclusion, I would like to thank my family, friends, colleagues and people I do not know and whom I have not met who have supported me in these difficult days.
To reiterate, I am innocent and deny any wrongdoing. I am a law-abiding citizen.
Harvey Proctor was a Member of Parliament for Basildon and for Billericay between 1979 and 1987 

September 15, 2014

Wether Heterosex or Homosex, New Report: “They Know When You Fake it”


If your partner just doesn’t do it for you between the sheets, you might resort to faking it. But he or she can probably hear right through those overly drawn-out moans.
At least that’s the case for committed relationships, according to scientists at the University of Waterloo in Canada. Their study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in April, identified sexual communication  and done on straight couples but no ones believes there is a difference when adding a different sexual orientation— when partners tell each other what turns them on or off — and the ability to read emotions as crucial factors for predicting how accurately people can tell whether their partners really are feeling it in the bedroom.
The upshot: The better you communicate with your partner in the boudoir, the better you are at gauging that person’s sexual satisfaction. We suspect you’ll have better luck faking it in a one-night stand.
Partners who reported better sexual communication could more accurately tell whether those noises were for real.
Perhaps more surprisingly, the study also shook up the stereotype that men suck at telling a fake orgasm from the real deal. The scientists found that men and women are equally adept at determining their partners’ level of sexual satisfaction.
The researchers split up 84 married or live-in heterosexual couples and asked them to complete questionnaires about their levels of sexual satisfaction and those of their partners. Both men’s and women’s predictions of their partners’ sexual satisfaction matched up pretty closely with their partners’ reported levels of satisfaction.
Specifically, the correlation was 0.67 when men did the predicting and a nearly identical 0.66 when women did. Neither is that far off from a perfect correlation of 1.00, suggesting that both sexes are equally accurate at determining whether they’re truly pleasing their partners, and that men might be ever so slightlybetter.
But the researchers saw large variations among individual participants: Some couples were very good at predicting their partners’ satisfaction, while others were awful at it. Investigating those variations, they found that people who reported better sexual communication with their partners could more accurately tell whether those noises were for real. And “even if sexual communication was lacking, a person could still be fairly accurate in gauging his or her partner’s sexual satisfaction if he or she was able to read emotions well,” said Erin Fallis, a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at the University of Waterloo and the study’s lead author.
Fallis hypothesizes that partners who accurately rate each other’s satisfaction can better decide whether to stick to the script or spice it up.
Her research challenges earlier findings suggesting that people overestimate their partners’ satisfaction. In a study reported in the 1994 book The Social Organization of Sexuality, 43.5 percent of men said that their primary partners always climaxed with them, but only 28.6 percent of women responded that they actually did.
Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy study published in 2000 found that women were less perceptive: 78.2 percent believed their partners were satisfied, while only 69.9 percent of men reported being legitimately satisfied. Meanwhile, 82.9 percent of men said their partners were satisfied, close to the 79.5 percent of women who reported satisfaction.
But it’s “difficult to extract firm conclusions about the accuracy of people’s judgments of their partners’ sexual satisfaction from these studies,” Fallis and her colleagues wrote. The older studies looked at individuals instead of couples, and the first focused solely on orgasm — only one slice of the sexual satisfaction pie, which also includes factors like self-esteem and stress levels.
Couples tend to follow what’s known as a “sexual script” — certain patterns and routines — especially in long-term relationships, Fallis said. She hypothesizes that partners who accurately rate each other’s sexual satisfaction can better decide whether to stick to the script or spice it up.
But does being on the same page as your partner necessarily mean hotter sex? To find out, stay tuned for the researchers’ next study, which will investigate just how much the couples they surveyed actually steamed up the sack.


April 9, 2014

Mississippi Teaching Kids Gay Sex is Illegal


Jonathan Cohn has the following article on New Republic:
Mississippi’s sex-ed curriculum is not notable for its progressive nature. But one thing you can’t say about the Magnolia State is that it follows the advice of some conservative parents who want schools to totally ignore homosexuality. In fact, state law mandates that the subject be discussed, at least briefly: Students are to be told that homosexual activity is illegal.
Mississippi, whose governor just signed a noxious anti-gay bill, is not the only state with such a clause in its sex ed curriculum. Neighboring Alabama requires that instructors teach that “homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense." In fact, the Supreme Court rendered all state laws against gay sex unenforceable in 2003, when it struck down an anti-sodomy law in Texas.
In Mississippi, the gay-sex-is-illegal mandate is among the less-noticed aspects of a sex-ed curriculum that has seen a fair amount of controversy lately. A Los Angeles Timesstory last week, by Alena Semuels, focused on the challenges of teaching sexual education in a place where so many communities oppose it—even though the teen pregnancy rate is among highest in the nation.  Since 2012, Mississippi has mandated that all districts must now offer some kind of sex ed. But, by law, the basis for the curriculum is abstinence. Classes are supposed to make clear that “a mutually faithful, monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the only appropriate setting for sexual intercourse.” The only question is whether classes also include basic information about things like birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. The state leaves that decision, between “abstinence-only” and “abstinence-plus,” to the school districts—although 12 percent have opted not to teach any kind of sex ed at all, in apparent defiance of the law. 
The source of recent controversy was an anecdote, from that Los Angeles Times story, about how educators in one community (Oxford) were applying the state guidelines. According to the article, teachers in Oxford had asked the kids to pass around a candy wrapper, from a Peppermint Pattie, to see how dirty it becomes when lots of people are touching it. "They're using the Peppermint Pattie to show that a girl is no longer clean or valuable after she's had sex—that she's been used," one parent said. "That shouldn't be the lesson we send kids about sex." After the article appeared, and gotnational attention, the District Superintendent told a local newspaper (the Clarion-Ledger) that the report was misleading, because the district does not use that teaching method today. “We have been teaching an entirely different curriculum in our classrooms in the last two years,” the superintendent said. “We have no knowledge of this particular aspect (example of the candy making the rounds in the classroom) being taught in any Oxford School District classroom.”
That would certainly represent progress, albeit of a modest sort: The evidence I’ve seen suggests that abstinence education doesn’t work and “abstinence-plus” probably isn’t a whole lot better. But at least legislation is moving in the right direction. In Alabama, state Rep. Patricia Todd, Alabama’s first openly gay legislator, has been calling on her colleagues to repeal the curriculum requirement on sodomy laws. She hasn't succeeded, even though activists have gathered tens of thousands of signatureson petitions opposing the requirement. I'm aware of no similar effort underway in Mississippi (although it's entirely possible one is under way).
It's hard to know how many teachers actually follow the state mandate to teach kids about anti-sodomy laws. (I've put questions to a few districts and will update this item if/when I get answers.) But the fact that curricula established two years ago include such a requirement is sobering. Support for same-sex marriage and acceptance of homosexuality generally is rising in the U.S.—and it’s rising quickly. But there is still a long way to go.

February 28, 2013

Catholic Church Calls For Overthrow of Government over Sex Education

 Sex Education / Shutterstock

Drago Hedl | Osijek 
It is open clash between the Croatian Catholic Church and the center-left government. The disputed issue is sex education in schools, recently introduced in the broader context of civic education and health 
The three hours of class throughout the year when students, within the general framework of health education, will learn the basics about sexuality, gender equality, and proper behavior in this regard have raised an unprecedented war between the Catholic Church and the Croatian government. The word "war" is no overstatement: Valentin Pozaić, Zagreb's deputy bishop, urged against the introduction of sex education in schools and for a new "Oluja" (Storm), alluding to the armed action conducted by Croatia in the region of Knin in August 1995.

The deputy bishop calls for a new "Oluja"

 Not to leave any doubt about the target of the "Storm", Pozaić said: "The Nazis came to power through democratic elections, then abused the legitimacy of their mandate and imposed a dictatorship, and you know how it ended. Do we still need to warn about the similarity with today's Communists in Croatia?” 

In appeals from the altars as well as public statements, the Church has fought hard the introduction of sex education in schools, allegedly a mere excuse hiding other intentions such as "indoctrination of children with the ideology of homosexuality and eroticism". Of course, what troubles the Church most is that children, in those three hours of health education, would receive knowledge that is contrary to its own teaching – that masturbation is not a sin, homosexuality is not a disease or a perversion, and contraception is the best way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.
The Archbishop of Zagreb, Cardinal Josip Bozanić, said that the suggested model for health education is dangerous "because some parts of it destroy man". Bozanić did not explain what are the dangerous parts of sex education and how they destroy man, but reiterated that the government did not respect the democratic process and the right of parents to decide whether and how their children will study sex education in school.

The Ministry of Education resists

It was not long before the Church invited parents to boycott sex education classes. Education Minister Željko Jovanović, whose department is responsible for the introduction of sex education in schools, said students who do not attend those classes will be considered absent without leave.
The answer came quickly. "Jovanović, in the name of God, leave our children alone!" screams a little boy, complete with red and white checkered shirt, from a giant billboard on the streets of Croatia, reading "Forget health education" and a quote from the Croatian Constitution on how parents "have the right and freedom to decide on the education of children". The idea came from the “Christian, patriotic” magazine Nacija, known for publishing articles that warn about the dangers of yoga, support the excommunication of women who have had abortions, and offers its readers the confessions of people healed from homosexuality.

New areas of conflict

While the war on health education has not subsided at all, a new debate rages among the Croatian public. A harmless theater poster for the play "Fine mrtve djevojke" (Fine dead girls), staged at the Gavella theater in Zagreb, was withdrawn at the request of the Catholic association "vigilant".
The poster showed two statues of the Virgin Mary embracing, alluding to the lesbian theme of the play – an image that seemingly greatly annoyed the faithful. The mayor of Zagreb, Milan Bandić, ordered the withdrawal of posters and said that anyone who had "put themselves in the shoes of the faithful" would have done the same.
Croatia had looked down on the strong reactions in the Islamic world following the publication of caricatures of the Prophet Mohammed in some Western countries, branding them as an expression of blind religious fanaticism. Yet, now something similar has happened in the center of Zagreb.

The warning from the Minister of Culture

Artists and intellectuals of the Croatian capital wonder if the witch hunts of the Church will now find new targets, e.g. with public burnings of books deemed unsuitable for the faithful.
Minister of Culture Andrea Zlatar Violić announced that in Croatia there is an "incomprehension of those who are different from the majority, be it for religious reasons, gender, or any other form of marginalization". Violić considers Croatia a "society with strong rigidity, which tends to push to the margins those who are different". That is why - said the Minister - posters like the one that was banned by mayor Bandić under pressure from religious groups "are very necessary to teach us to respect those who, from the point of view of the majority, are different".
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