Penis size varies — oh, yes, it does. And yet I had no idea that penises aranged so drastically in size before I started working in the sex industry. I thought that penises were all relatively the same size and shape. At least that had been my experience fooling around with boys in high school. These gropings commonly took place in the dark, with my hand down a guy’s pants in the back of some car. The experiences were few and far in between. I didn’t have much basis on which to make comparisons. The dicks all felt pretty much the same. They were long, hard pieces of flesh contained inside the folds of some young man’s boxer shorts, always capped off with the same weird, mushroom-shaped head. Contrary to what many people believe, before I became a sex worker, I didn’t have a lot of experience with men. It’s a stereotype that sex workers are promiscuous and that’s why they get into sex work. I became a sex worker for the money — period.
I needed a lot of money fast to deal with my mounting debts, and when I discovered sex work, it offered me a solution. I didn’t get into sex work because I knew a lot about penises, but by entering the business, I would learn a lot quickly.
I first got my feet wet in the industry as a dominatrix, and from there I moved on to full-on escorting, sugar-baby work, amateur porn, cam modeling and phone sex. In all these different lines of sex work, I would be exposed to penises big and small, and because of a man’s perceived deficits or gifts, he’d seek out different things from me.
The variation in penis size is more like the variation in breast size. Some men have very big penises and others have incredibly small ones.
Before I became a sex worker, I’d heard guys talk about penis size, but I thought it was just a sign of insecurity — meaning that men worried over whose dick was bigger the way women worried over how much cellulite they had on the backs of their legs.
In other words, a lot of worrying was done for nothing. A good deal of the women I know will pick apart their bodies when so often they look just fine. Many women are simply insecure. Besides, when they compare their bodies to the airbrushed bodies found in magazines, how can they ever feel good about themselves?
I thought men were stressing about their penis size for the same reason. It was imagined angst. Then I became a sex worker, and I discovered it was actually true. The variation in penis size is more like the variation in breast size. Some men have very big penises and others have incredibly small ones.
These men have what look like a knee sock filled with stones when limp. If they move, that stone-filled knee sock swings between their legs like a pendulum.
The real shocker came when I started working as a dominatrix, and men would undress for me at the start of our session. Their pants would come down, and I would be like, wow.
While some guys were big and others were bigger, most guys were medium, but even there, size varied. One man’s medium penis was more “medium-thin” while another man’s medium was actually “medium-thick.” There were also as many men with medium-long penises as there were men with medium-short ones.
And then there were the small dicks, and even there existed a lot of variation. When fully erect, some men’s penises were still only the size of my thumb. Flaccid, they really didn’t look like penises at all. They looked more like a huge clitoris. And yet a guy’s penis could also seem tiny when flaccid, but erect, he would gain a lot of length. Being erect really is the true measure of a man’s penis size.
Then, of course, there are those guys whose cocks are massive, regardless. These men have what look like a knee sock filled with stones when limp. If they move, that stone-filled knee sock swings between their legs like a pendulum. Though when they’re hard, their penises don’t grow in size too much, their penises are still giant.
Obviously, when I started escorting, and therefore actually having sex with these men, going to bed with a man with a small penis was much easier on my body. Having sex as an occupation took a toll on me physically. It was much easier to be penetrated by a man when he was on the smaller size than when a guy was big.
My vagina is apparently on the small side.
If a guy was too big, it hurt to be penetrated. I had one client who liked to talk about my cute, little vagina. When we had sex, his penis hit my cervix with each thrust. And so I learned that vagina size varies as well.
My vagina is apparently on the small side, which was why that client’s mega-dick nudged up against my cervix when we had sex.
As a result, I was always sore afterward. The friction of such a massive penis inside me also led to constant infections. The friction caused the lining of my vagina and the area around it to become inflamed. That would put me on antibiotics for a week and out of commission, and thereby impair my ability to earn a living.
So the smaller a man was, and obviously the faster he was able to come, meant a better experience for me.
I believe that porn is what has led men who are average in size to believe they are actually smaller than they are.
Both as a dominatrix offering real-time sessions and as a cam girl offering sessions on Skype, I capitalized on men’s obsession with the size of their penises. Often, men wanted me to humiliate them for being small. Though this might seem counter-intuitive, quite a number of my clients wanted to be demeaned for having small penises.
There’s even a fetish called “small penis humiliation,” wherein a man gets off on being ridiculed for having a small dick.
Sometimes these men aren’t even necessarily all that small in size — they just think they are. The proliferation of porn has made it so men no longer have to steal glances at each other in the locker room. They can just watch porn to see just how well-endowed some male porn stars are. They compare themselves with these stars and feel insecure about it.
Think of the way women flip through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, view other women who are genetically predisposed to being skinny, and then go stand in front of the mirror to compare themselves with those women, and feel insecure that they’re not as thin as well.
I believe that porn is what has led men who are average in size to believe they are actually smaller than they are. Many of these men then reach out to me to pay me to ridicule them for their supposed small penises.
They want to hear that because they’re so small they don’t deserve to have sex with me. They want me to tell them how they deserve only to masturbate, or even to be denied the right to touch themselves all together.
White men often eroticize Black men.
Some of these men want to take it a step further. They also seek cuckolding. They want to be forced to watch a woman have sex with another more well-endowed man.
Men with cuckold fantasies often want to be made to “clean up” a woman after sex. This includes being forced to lick up another man’s sperm from inside a woman’s vagina.
I’ve come to believe that bisexuality and a desire to have one’s penis size demeaned go hand in hand. As if in punishment for being so small, these men seek to be forced to perform oral sex on men with large penises.
Though there are racist implications in assuming that men of African origin have larger penises, white men often eroticize Black men. White men want to be either forced to perform oral sex on Black men, or to be forced to watch a Black male pleasure a white woman in the way a white male feels he can’t.
Gleaning sexual pleasure off their small penis size is a way for a man to embrace his insecurities.
Ireally enjoy sessions with men who desire to be humiliated for their small penis size. Those sessions are always quite easy. I don’t have to have sex with anyone and often there is no physical contact at all.
The question is instead how well I can verbally insult a man. This lends itself well to phone work or cam work. This type of client just wants to show off his dick and get my opinion on its size. Or he wants to send me photos of his penis and listen to me insult him for it. “Look at that tiny cock, you small dick loser.” And so on.
I’ve come to believe that gleaning sexual pleasure off one’s small penis size is a way for a man to embrace his insecurities. If he embraces his insecurities then he can have better control over them.
Like I said, porn is so prolific these days that men often view other men with very large penises on a daily basis. It’s as if the male porn actor is basically shoving his massive penis metaphorically in his male viewer’s face. “I get to bang all these women because my dick is so big, and yours isn’t.”
Men have to do something with all that erotic energy. They feel simultaneously aroused and insecure watching these porn actors have sex with so many women. They re-package that angst into fetishes such as cuckolding or small penis humiliation.
You’re born with a certain penis size, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Maybe it’s just that men are held to impossible standards. Men either want to be derided for their small penises or to be complimented for a medium-size penis and told it’s large. For as many men as I’ve met who want to be humiliated because of their small penises, there are plenty of men with medium-size dicks who want to be told their penises are bigger than they are.
These men, in my opinion, are just as insecure. These are the guys who want me to worship their cocks, to oooh and awww over how big their dicks are, either on cam or in a real-time session.
But don’t feel sorry for me. I feel lucky I have a vagina. Here I am, making large amounts of money very quickly with my body while men are left to worry over whether their penises are big enough. When they deem they aren’t, they seek to be humiliated for it.
You’re born with a certain penis size, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But still a man’s self-esteem is wound up in the size of his penis. He can take enhancement drugs or even get surgery, but when those methods fail to lengthen his penis, he can embrace fetishes like small penis humiliation and cuckolding. Or he can beg for the validation he so desperately needs by paying a sex worker to compliment his medium-size penis for being bigger than it is.