So yeah, that's pretty terrifying. A rock from space f* exploding RIGHT OVER YOUR F*** HEAD. And all you see is this big contrail. What the hell are you thinking at that moment? AMERICA IS ATTACKING. IT'S ON MOTHERF*. SADDLE UP PUTIN, YOUR TIME HAS COME. That's what I would be thinking. If I were Russian. I would also be thinking "Where is my vodka?" Because vodka.
In other news, the asteroid buzzed us. We were sitting here minding our own business and a 150-foot wide rock just went flying past. Happens all the time of course. But most of the time the asteroid gets no media coverage. The asteroid is Paris Hilton. It's like, "Why does no one pay attention to meeeeeeee." Cause asteroids are boring. They don't do anything. They just flash their crotch now and then. They're useless as fuck.