'Newly Diagnosed' 21 Yr Old Student Does a Q&A at REddit About The New Experience of Being HIV+
A brave 21-year-old man took to reddit to answer questions from complete strangers after learning of his HIV diagnosis. The anonymous college student, going by the username highfiveohwaitshit, revealed that he believes he contracted HIV from a one-night stand with someone he met through craigslist’s “men seeking men” section.
He explained that he used protection with his sex partner that night but is fairly certain the condom broke. “Yes, I was on bottom,” he replied to a redditor’s question. “I’m fairly certain the condom broke, after the guy finished he seemed very sketchy about the situation (could have just been the fact that he was hooking up with someone on craigslist, but I’m kind of convinced he knew something was wrong and was too scared to tell me).”
Redditor Highfiveohwaitshit explains:
In March of this year I met someone through the craigslist “men seeking men” section out of boredom with my lackluster sex life and an urge to do something exciting and erotic. We had a brief one-night-stand, using protection, and nothing interesting came of that night. The sex was mediocre. I went home and we didn’t speak again.
A week later I came down with an absolutely horrendous flu/fever that reached 103.5 degrees and stayed there for 5 days. I eventually went to the ER where I was misdiagnosed with strep throat and sent home with antibiotics. The flu and fever cleared itself after a few days and I assumed that was the end of it, although I couldn’t shake a bad feeling that I had contracted something from my shitty one night stand.
One month ago today I tested positive, saw a specialist, confirmed the diagnosis with a CD4 of 319 and viral load of 262,000. Apparently my CD4 is particularly low after such a short time because it’s still rising following the acute retroviral syndrome, according to the specialist. He seems to be relatively unworried, so I’m taking that as good news.
I’ve struggled with immense image issues and depression since this all started. I feel deeply ashamed and my life feels extremely unfair based on the fact that I was using protection and still managed to contract it. Talking about this is cathartic though, so I’d like to answer questions if anybody has any.
The outpouring of love and support to his Reddit Q&A was overwhelming as he stated:
I will answer every question in this thread, it might take some time though! The amount of support and encouragement in this thread is overwhelming, thank you all so much for it.
As is evidenced by a lot of responses in this thread, there is a TON of misinformation about what an HIV diagnosis means in today’s day and age. Hopefully by the time this thread is finished, I can put a substantial portion of these rumors and incorrect assumptions to rest.
He also revealed that his main goal in conducting the Q&A was to “convince people to stay the fuck away from craigslist for sex, as if that wasn’t already a given. You don’t know random strangers from the internet. It’s a terrible idea. Take it from me.” But as another redditor pointed out “this didn’t happen because of craigslist… the same thing could have happened hooking up with someone you met at a bar, at work or at the chess club.”
Below, we have chosen some of the best questions and answers from his Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) and even some inspirational stories:
hilwil:
My 27 year old best friend died two months ago due to undiagnosed AIDS that resulted in central nervous lymphoma (the ultimate cause of death). His health was questionable for the past few years so I confronted him last year to see if he was tested for HIV. I don’t know if it was shame, fear, or both but he says yes and was negative. His cd4 was eleven by the time he was hospitalized. Thank you for owning your infection and addressing it. I imagine it is a slow journey back to normalcy but you will live a long and healthy life. Thank you for this thread as well. I might still have my best friend if he possessed your strength.
Tl;dr: HIV isn’t a death sentence unless you are in denial and don’t seek help.
highfiveohwaitshit:
I am certainly in denial, but I’ve got help for it 
It feels like there’s absolutely no way, despite all the confirmation from multiple blood tests and a specialist, that this can actually, really be happening to me. Ultimately, taking a pill every day is far superior to the alternative of letting it progress. But I’m still getting past the idea that the doctor isn’t going to randomly call and say “Hey, guess what, it was negative after all!”
I appreciate the kind words, thank you
A redditor by the username Hertubise, left this incredible story which had over 7200 upvotes:
I’m not HIV positive but my boyfriend is. We met at a mutual friend’s bachelorette party. I didn’t want to go, but my friend begged me to. She was a coworker and wanted me to meet her best gay friend. I eventually caved and went to the party. It was a night that I’ve always had a hard time explaining to people, I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I had an overwhelming feeling that this person and I should be together. We found a spot at the party, in the backyard, where we sat alone and talked all night. It was wonderful. After that, he was hard to get a hold of. We had exchanged numbers, but he often wouldn’t answer my texts or phone calls. I went to our mutual friend, my coworker, and asked about him. She told me that he was pushing me away, it was killing him to do it. When I pressed her, asking why; she said it was because he had HIV and he thought that once I found out, I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. He couldn’t have been more wrong. I went after him, more determined than ever and eventually convinced him to go out with me. We dated for a few weeks and still hadn’t talked about his disease. He had no idea that I knew he was positive. I could tell he was scared to say something, but I wanted him to tell me on his own terms. One day, we were sitting together talking about the future when he stopped and looked out into nothing, his eyes glazed over. I caved, I had to say something, it hurt to see him so worried. “I want you to know something”, I said, “I know you have HIV. I’ve known the whole time. You don’t need to worry about it. It doesn’t matter to me.” He started to cry and I held him. We sat there for hours. After that, we started to move in together. That was three years ago this November. I’m still HIV negative and we live together happily in Missouri, in a small home with a big yard. He also had a hard time when he found out he was positive, he ran away to California on a Greyhound bus without a plan or money and almost became a male stripper. He lived in a homeless shelter and sold degreaser door-to-door. Eventually his mom convinced him to move back home. When we talked recently about him finding out that he’s positive he said: “I almost feel silly, thinking about how bad I felt, how depressed I was. I thought no one would ever love me. It seems so long ago, so far away.” I love him more than anything. He’s the most important thing that’s ever happened to me. The only reason I haven’t proposed to him yet, is because I can’t find a ring that I think is worthy of him and it’s not for lack of trying. TL;DR: My boyfriend is HIV positive, I am not. We’ve lived together happily for years.
Viking83:
Hi man,
Gay dude here. I’ve had the fortune of having a relatively easy time finding and attracting guys, but I just want to say that I’ve knowingly dated and had (safe!) sex with HIV+ guys (who were well-treated) as well as HIV- guys. I treat everyone as though they were HIV+, because you never know – but that also gives me the freedom of not discriminating against either group, even though I’m HIV- myself.
You’ll have full, normal life. Yes, some guys won’t date you. That’s unfortunate. But a lot of others will and hey, in 10 years your blood will be cleared of the virus – they’re so close to finding a cure anyway.
Take your pills, eat healthy and exercise – and go out and kiss some boys. You’re 21, for fucks sake. And if nobody will, I’ll fucking fly over there and kiss you myself.
Hugs from Denmark.
highfiveohwaitshit:
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
pwaryuex:
Hey man, sorry to hear about what happened. I don’t really have anything to ask… Just wanted to say that this is a really important reminder that you need to use condoms correctly (you need to put them on correctly, including using lube). It’s also worth noting that you can take pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for situations when you think you might be exposed, and ordinary PEP for after the fact.
Again, I’m really sorry this happened to you. There is no need to feel ashamed, though. You picked up an illness – all the stigma attached to HIV is because of sex negativity and the necessity to shock people away from it. Try to find a support group in your area or online.
highfiveohwaitshit:
To find out where the nearest free HIV testing facility is located, visit FreeHIVTest.net. And remember to always wrap it up and play safe!
Thanks for the sympathy, I really do appreciate it.
Ultimately, life goes on, and I’m looking forward to moving on with my medication to a point where my viral load is undetectable. It’s important to remember that HIV is not nearly what it was before 1996; the last image burned into the minds of the general public was that of a brutal virus decimating the population before the cocktail drugs were invented. Once it stopped killing everyone who became infected with it, it fell off the radar as people lost interest and everyone who had it settled down to a relatively normal life on medication.
In addition to this, I saw an askreddit thread a while back where some guy’s girlfriend came out to him as HIV+ about a month into the relationship and he was wondering whether or not to stay with her. The responses reeked of
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