10 ways to get Anthony Weiner to send you a signed picture or Drawing of His Weiner

EVER wondered how to get inside Hillary Clinton’s knickers? Or how about sex with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Fancy a bunk up with Tony Blair but never managed to pluck up the courage? Well, help is at hand. Sydney Leathers, recipient of Anthony Weiner’s dirty photos and texts, has published her 10 Secrets for Seducing a Politician. The old guide featured wearing a football strip (David Mellor), twanging your thong (Monica Lewinsky) or walking too close to Silvio Berlusconi (your name here). The new guide is here.

Politicians’ huge and hardworking staffs should prick up their ears. On day you’re employer could beidentified by his penis alone. Now that’s a special kind of fame. One day your children will ask where you where when the President first showed everyone his knob:

#1: Indulge his crazy alter-ego, and whatever you do, don’t laugh at him. When in doubt, use a smiley-face and tell him you actually mean it.

It’s hard sometimes, but you have to keep a straight face. Like, Anthony would thank me every time he had an orgasm. I don’t think I ever said “You’re welcome.” Who thanks someone after an orgasm?

Someone with impeccable manners. Whenever Leathers would approach a door, Weiner would hold it open for her with his dick.

#2: Be a little coy first. Don’t be so aggressive.

#3: Be prepared to make the first move, play on his ego and resist being sexual when he wants to be sexual. It will drive him crazy.

#4: Figure out his weaknesses early on. If he’s insecure, you’ve hit gold. Then torture him by playing hard to get.

#5: Make him jealous and then switch it up and make him feel secure. Kind of like “48 Laws of Power.” Politicians are in it to win it so always be in “flirting campaign mode.”

#6: Go for someone who you know is tempted by hot chicks online. Once he’s interested, find out his fetish as soon as you can.

Go for someone you know won’t be able to resist you.

Yes, Anthony is married with a child. So you have to be comfortable that some people are going to brand you as an evil home wrecker. Don’t read the negative comments or tweets. You just kind of have to own it and be honest and keep your head up no matter what people think of you.

#7: Give him more attention than he’s ever known from a woman. Tell him he is sexy, and be specific about why he is.

Politicians are the biggest attention whores you will ever meet.

Vote Leathers.

#8: Find a horny non-politician to finance all the expensive shoes and lingerie pics you’re sexting your politician boyfriend. Constantly, be painting a picture of yourself in your politician’s brain.

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And don’t be too proud for selfies.

Do not be too proud, says Leathers.

#9: Tell him how big his weiner is — especially if it’s Weiner.

The best way to compliment on penis shot: Be really specific. Not just length but girth and everything. Really be specific.

Talk lightning, composition and other objects in view, like coffee tables or pictures of his wife and kids.

#10 Alternate between innocent and vague, then dirty and specific, and occasionally throw in a mention of something political he did.

You used that mouth to kiss babies.

Stick to the Leathers plan and Ann Widdecome with big big beefy knob will be putt in your hands.

Anorak