November 11, 2017

More Accusations of Indecent Behavior by Men From Hollywood and a Self Experience

I wanted to concentrate this weekend on the wave of people coming out with past experiences of sexual assault (intimidation or non-consensual sex between two adults or one adult and an underage victim.)
The problem with that is there are so many of those incidents coming out this week I can't just pick one and ignore the others. I could concentrate on the LGBT ones but how can I ignore the straight men doing this which is at the core simply because there are more of them. 

I have never seen any straight episodes but on a couple of occasions, I experienced gay ones.
One older guy going for a younger guy, which was not appropriate.  It was at "Boots and Saddles" NYC, back 30 years ago. This guy just intimidated a younger guy who did not want to leave the place where he was, he did not want to be driven away. He kept changing his space to stay away from this straight looking gay man who thought that either he was going to drive this guy out of the bar or at the very least get him to talk to him and put his arms around him(he already did that and the guy ran off from that space).
 I was about 5 yrs older than the guy in trouble here. I admired that he decided the assaulting guy was not going to drive him out but it was obvious he didn't know anyone there. I got offended by this situation and felt bad for the guy. I interceded and had to do it very strongly which was the reason I waited to see if the guy would leave the bar. The guy and I started a conversation which was easy for me to do and that disarmed the older guy because now the younger guy and I were talking and becoming friends. It's just so happened that he left with me that night and accepted an invitation for more. I thought he had been placed on my path and he was. I felt so good being with him, we had a lot in common except he had this thing about Puerto Ricans that they all cheat. I'm sure that was his experience. I understood it until it turned on me and he would take everything I told him with a big rock of salt, not a grain. The short relationship lasted until the first date of our meeting. He cursed me out just because I moved from the place he told me to wait for him and not move. I moved because he ordered me to stay in a spot and I wanted to see how this young guy was going to take it when he saw I had my own mind and was being too aggressive.
 I was just testing him because I had to make decisions about him and me, whether this was to be stopped there or be continued. He did not want to be just friends. He warned me of what he was going to do if when he came back he did not find me there.  I was curious...He was behaving with me opposite than at that bar. He had become aggressive. Finally, he got back (never told where he was going. Maybe he was getting an engagement ring??)  He said I was cruising for someone else. Cursed me out as a Puerto Rican etc. etc. I knew he was damaged and I could not help him there. I already had issues with the guy I was semi-dating which we kept breaking up every other month. This guy I thought would be the one that will make me drop some people in my life I no longer wanted to be with but also I did not want to be alone. I was never sorry I met him even after he cursed me out; I knew he had to be hurting about something recent.

The other experience involved someone from Hollywood who at that time spent a lot of time in NY. I didn't even know he was gay until he grabbed my crotch at the "Monster bar' in the West Village. That was 15 yrs ago and his name is Philben. I won't say whether that is his first or last name because he has come out since then. Things came out ok because of that I'm tall and 15 yrs ago I looked like an I worked out (I didn't, except jog).But he grabbed by my crotch and try to push me back to a corner (right behind me) in the bar where they had a private bathroom. When I stood my ground by staying standing and just looking at him trying to figure out what was going on. I would have met him if he introduced himself to me, etc. but that is not what he had in mind on his way to the bathroom. He wanted to take a bathroom buddy with him. So he went alone to the bathroom and by the time he came out there was a guy from his entourage who took him back to the part of the bar where they were all sitting. 

Today's newest headlines are Richard Dreifus, this time the father, Dreifus Sr. doing the penis showtime with a woman friend. He denies it. 

Also, there is one of the people I have the greatest respect for and that is George Takei. 
He is accused of giving alcohol maybe laced with a drug and trying to rape a younger guy. He denies it. 
I do believe both Dreifus and Takei are honorable men now and if they committed these assaults, their memories will come back like it did with Stacey and CK. I think eventually we'll know

This is not going to stop because this has been an everyday occurrence, still happening with men that because they have achieved something, they think it gives them the power to grab a stranger's crotch on the way to the bathroom( I stood still and not reacted forcibly because I knew who he was).
Someone else might have experienced a self-defense push back or punched him in the eye.

For the others, they are or think they are in a position to be protected and assault someone's most guarded personal possession which is their sexuality. Something we are glad to share but taken away it has a hurt that stays with the person because it is something stolen that cannot be put back.

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