Gym Etiquette and Take it Seriously if You Want it To Be Serious for You

Written by Mike Gonsalves

Every month I aim to bring fashion advice and style tips to help inspire you to raise those sartorial skills to new heights. While I know that not everyone is going to get things right on the first try, sometimes I, or we here at Instinct for that matter, notice styling choices so heinous that they simply must be addressed. This, gentlemen, is one of those moments. 

Before I get started let me preface this by saying that if you are someone who finds themselves guilty of one of the upcoming gym-fashion crimes, our words come from a place of love. We believe in you and we believe you can be better. Now go ahead and hold your breath, ‘cause this might sting a little. 

The Is-There-Anything-Left-To-Cut-Off Shirt

You look like an asshole in that side-less cut up T-shirt. I mean that in the nicest way possible. It’s just you are essentially wearing an upper body loincloth...and can somebody tell me why we’re cutting the entire side out of our shirts anyway? It's not out of function, and surely not for fashion. But whatever the reason, I’m sure your nipples can wait until the locker room for their big reveal. Leave a little something to the imagination, boys!

Mix N Mismatch

Okay, let’s take a look at this little number: You’ve got washed-up hobo from the waist up and middle school girl’s volleyball from the waist down. It’s like an after school special in an outfit. These shorts are just plain inappropriate for a grown man. Oh, and did we mention that when you bend over we can see areas that could really use a pass over with the old clippers? Just saying. 

Tighty Wrongies

 

Those two images are forever burned into my brain. I mean, this is like Old Testament stuff. Honestly—compression shorts are supposed to be worn UNDER something. Pair those things with an oversized T-shirt and you’re half way to an episode of Blossom. And that wrestling singlet?! Unless you’re in some kind of fetish bar or competing for a medal, Spandex is just embarrassing. We say that with love. 

Effort-less Looks

 

Finally, I know how things get: You barely made it to the gym to begin with and you hardly had time to pack a proper bag. At the end of the day it’s just work out clothes anyway, right? Sure, but here’s the thing—your T-shirt looks like you melted a stick of butter under your arms and your jeans and work boots simply hurt my feelings. This is the gym, not a Men At Work video. I think it’s time to get fitted with some real athletic apparel. Lets take this from construction to constructive... 

How To Gym In Style

When picking out gym clothes you want to keep a few key things in mind: Cut, Fit and Fabric. Let’s start with cut. With shirts it is perfectly appropriate to go sleeveless (think cut off T-shirts or tank tops), but make sure your arm-holes are fitted to your body. If a stranger can see your nips or navel, you’re in the no-no zone. With shorts it is fine to go with a higher hemline, so long as you keep things decent. Any higher than mid-thigh and things start falling out. Trust us, you won’t like the crowd you attract. 

 

Fit is where you can get a little sexy without looking like an outright creeper. Gym clothes can veer on the fitted side; look for styles that cling to your chest and fall loosely at your waist. Shorts and pants work in the same way. The perfect pair of shorts or pants will have a snug fit over your booty and then fall loosely at your thighs for comfortable squats and lunges. Compression shorts are great for wearing under your shorts, but again, think modesty! Don’t rock them with nothing else unless you want to look like you’re for sale. 

Now, incase you’re feeling a little fragile after my bombardment earlier, may I suggest a little shopping to boost your self-esteem? I recommend visiting www.lululemon.com,www.jamesperse.com, www.underarmour.com or even www.dolcegabbana.com if you want to look like these guys and finally become the fit and pretty super star we know you can be. Lord knows we’d love to see you looking like the boys below—or at least just dressing like them. 

(* For the record, you are not allowed to wear a scarf in the gym. Ever. Sorry Dolce.)

http://instinctmagazine.com/