Aaron Ramsdale is a Football Rarity For His Courage Against Homophobia
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When Aaron Ramsdale sat down for his “interview” with The Players’ Tribune in April, he had one intention: to tell his story as honestly as possible. That was as far as his thought process went until he started talking.
And then it all came out.
The England goalkeeper spoke about the backlash when news broke that he was joining Arsenal in August 2021 and “the entire world” told him he would fail, and the series of knockbacks that spurred him on to earn three caps for his country (“maybe that’s something to keep in mind for all the kids out there who are constantly told that anything less than perfection is the end of their dream”).
The 25-year-old also spoke about his family.
About the miscarriage, he and his wife suffered early last year and played through the pain in the North London derby three days later.
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About the pride and admiration, he has for his brother Oliver, a performer in London’s West End, who is gay. And about the moments he’s bitten his tongue in dressing rooms and on social media over the years when hearing “homophobic comments”.
It was around this point during the interview that Ramsdale paused and glanced over to the side of the room where his agent was standing, throwing him a look that said: “Is this OK? Would Ollie be comfortable with this?”
The answer was a resounding yes. He would be immensely proud.
“I want this game I love to be a safe and welcoming place for everyone,” continued Ramsdale. “I want my brother, Ollie — or anyone of any sexuality, race, or religion — to come to games without having to fear abuse.”
In the days leading up to the publication of The Players’ Tribune piece, Ramsdale was nervous.
He’s an outgoing, sociable character and is not averse to occasionally playing the role of a pantomime villain with opposition fans. But he is not someone who craves the limelight. Being in the spotlight is rarely a good thing for a goalkeeper: usually, it means you’ve messed up. On top of that, the news that Arsenal might be signing another goalkeeper had already placed him under increased scrutiny.
But he knew how much the messages in the piece meant to him and to the people who matter the most to him.
What he didn’t know was just how much those messages would mean to so many other people, too.
Why has it made such a sizeable impact?
This is a high-profile Premier League footballer speaking out loudly and proudly against homophobia and all forms of hate. A Premier League footballer allying himself firmly with those in the LGBTQI+ community. A Premier League footballer promising to stay quiet no longer whenever he hears words spoken that might make anyone feel like football is no place for them.
This is rare.
And it comes at a time when those within that community have been left feeling exactly that way.
Last November, we saw a World Cup held in Qatar, where homosexuality is illegal, and where plans for the captains of seven European teams to wear rainbow armbands supporting a message of LGBTQI+ inclusion were abandoned after FIFA threatened sporting sanctions for anyone who wore one.
And now we are in the midst of a transfer window that has seen a number of high-profile players move to Saudi Arabia, a country where it is not only illegal to be homosexual or transgender, but dangerous — even life-threatening. One — the former Liverpool captain Jordan Henderson — had seemed to be another rare find in a footballer allying himself with the LGBTQI+ community.
There has been sadness and fear among LGBTQI+ football fans about what the future holds if the Saudi Pro League continues to grow at such a pace.
In such an environment, Ramsdale’s words mean even more.
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It’s not easy for footballers to be so open. Often they are warned against it, either by their club or agent (this writer once interviewed a high-profile England player who spoke warmly about his kids, only to be told afterward by his agent that under no circumstances was that part of our conversation to be included within the final article). Perhaps there’s a fear of inviting too much attention to their personal lives or a feeling that the press cannot be trusted to treat sensitive stories with the respect they deserve.
Maybe there’s also an element of not wanting to stand out from the crowd. Not wanting to become a target in the dressing room or on the pitch.
Whatever the reason, it’s often not until a player reaches the latter stages of their career, when retirement is on the horizon and they feel more comfortable and confident speaking openly, that we get to know the person behind the player.
Ramsdale has gone early.
Alongside the words of pride and support for his brother is his openness about the miscarriage that he and his wife Georgina suffered early this year.
Miscarriage is unbearably common. This writer knows that all too well.
Among people who know they’re pregnant, it’s estimated that around one in eight pregnancies will end in miscarriage. Many more happen before a person is even aware they’re pregnant.
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you will know someone who has had one.
And yet, it remains an almost taboo topic, too uncomfortable to address. All of which means those going through it feel as though they are the only ones.
That’s as true for men as it is for women — probably even more so.
When Ramsdale describes the extreme highs of discovering he’s going to be a dad, followed by the searing pain of the miscarriage, it clears a path for other men to speak up, too.
Three days later he describes playing in the north London derby and celebrating a 2-0 victory when he was kicked in the back by a Tottenham fan. It was, he says, a moment of realization.
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“I thought to myself: if he only knew me as a person and what I’m actually going through right now, there’s no way he would’ve done that…”
This is part of his reason for sharing his and his family’s story. A reminder that, whatever happens on the pitch, there is plenty more going on away from it that we will usually never know about. And a plea, amid what he calls the “negativity and toxicity in football”, for more perspective.
Speaking up in the way he has done sends such a strong message, not only to fans but to his fellow pros.
For him, Ramsdale says: “It’s simply about standing up for what’s right.”
Simple? Yes. Easy? Not for everyone.
But Ramsdale has stood up taller than many of us would be prepared to in his situation. His openness and honesty will give strength to so many and his plea for football to be a place where everyone feels welcome could not be more timely.
(Top photo: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)
Sarah Shephard spent 10 years at Sport magazine before becoming Deputy Head of Content at The Coaches' Voice. She has also written for publications such as The Times, The Guardian and The Sunday Times Magazine, among others. Follow Sarah on Twitter @SarahShepSport
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