Straight, Married and Looking for Internet Boyfriend

On the 10 July 1964 the Beatles released a song called ‘Money can’t buy me Love’ and they were right of course, it can’t. But by heck it can buy a man an awful lot of ess-ee-ex. In fact there’s more pay-for-play romping going on today than there has been at any other time. This is thanks largely, or not, to the World Wide Web.

The debate as to whether or not it’s morally right to pay for sexual encounters rages on, but there are actually good arguments to be heard from both camps.

However, most folks will agree that any middle-aged married guy secretly pursuing nookie online is far from what you might call an “honourable” chap.

Even if he’s a good husband and father by providing for, and taking care of his family, the man is still a liar and a cheat no matter how he might dress up or justify his unfaithful behaviour. A survey of 600 middle-aged men, that willingly participated in the study, revealed the following 5 facts about the randiest of these cyber rascals:

1. Many repeat offenders were high-income earners
2. Most were well educated
3. All participants were still married (seemingly happy in most cases)
4. Each volunteer was middle-aged
5. Every partaker was Caucasian

It’s not just about the Sex, Stupid (or so they say!)

According to this new study, published online by the Taylor & Francis Group, these men aren’t simply looking for sordid full on sex, but more of an emotional connection.

A woman who will listen to, and understand a man (even in pretence), has a good chance of hooking her prey. If she tells him what he wants to hear, she’ll be massaging his ego, and that’s a powerful tactic on her part.

These guys admit to being turned on by all the above plus the unbound anonymity that entices them to open-up freely. Baring one’s soul is something that most men – the world over – are particularly bad at doing in close relationships.

Based on the above, could it be that these ageing males are not totally honest when taking the survey? After all, any man who secretly looks for noncommittal sex, or even a clandestine rendezvous behind a partner’s back, has already shown dishonesty to be his shortcoming.

When this question was put forward to psychotherapist Christine Milrod, she said that these married men wanted to relive the ‘girlfriend experience’. Roughly translated, that probably means they no longer feel special, loved, or connected with their wives, as they once did when they were just a courting couple.

It’s a well-known fact that once a wife gives birth to a child (especially the first born), a man can often feel left out, second best, and to some extent, served his purpose. This is not to condone the hooking up with hookers, but merely to suggest it might be one explanation.

Like most of these things, nothing just happens overnight. There will usually be a gradual lead up to men paying for female company. This will more often than not start with husbands whacking off over internet porn, whenever it’s safe to do so. Then one day the urge becomes just too great and the man decides to act out his fantasies.

  

There are also those men who marry only to discover in later years that a woman’s love is not for them. The number of gay men tied up in heterosexual matrimony is not truly known, but it’s thought to be a much wider issue than first thought.

At some point in the marriage, these men find they are unable to ‘hold back’ any longer and finally decide to look for a same-sex relationship, or experience, online. This is a topic we’ve already covered here on the site.

Source:  50ish.org
Picture: Advocate

I’ve written many times about this subject before.  This time I’m going to leave it to the people  that have seen the surveys. Adam (really Adam)