Drunk Jealous Russian Kills His Friend By Stuffing Food Up His Rectum

  by Slade Sohmer

 “You cannot pass out around white people. Every time white dudes pass out around each other they always do some borderline gay shit when the guys are sleeping.” –Dave Chappelle, a wise man

 Local reports suggest Krasnov and Sergey fought over Krasnov’s girlfriend, and when Sergey fell asleep, Krasnov decided to stick his right foot “into the victim’s anus and rectum.” Perhaps not properly lubed and poppered up, Sergey suffered severe internal bleeding and died at the scene.

A 28-year-old Russian named Vladimir Krasnov killed his 48-year-old friend, identified as Sergey, by taking Red Foreman’s favorite threat too seriously.

Rectum? This time, sadly, he did kill’um.

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Krasnov faces up to 15 years in prison for the crime of passion.

“Nothing like this would happen if I were sober,” Krasnov told authorities. His girlfriend Yelena also blamed it on outside forces: “It’s just alcohol,” she said, adding that her man had nothing to be jealous about.

Of course there are more questions than answers about this strange case, chief among them: Was Krasnov shoeless and sockless? Did he lube up his foot? How far did he get? Was the victim bound and gagged? If not, was he already dead to not feel that pain and stop the process? And perhaps most importantly, of all the possible paybacks, how is sticking your foot in someone’s ass even in the Top 100 ways to get revenge? Any others?

Watch the subtitled report here: