We Hope The First lady Will Include Silent Gay Partners In Her Military Fams Campaing
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First Lady Michelle Obama listens as Dr. Jill Biden delivers remarks to a bipartisan group of governors attending the National Governors Association’s meeting in the State Dining Room of the White House, Feb. 28, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)
The White House announced on Saturday, April 9 that First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Bidenwill kick off their national call to action tour to help military families at the White House and then go to Camp Lejeune for their first stop. On hand will be 3,000 Marines, soldiers, sailors, and military family members – surely among them will be some still serving and suffering in silence under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
According to a White House press release: “The initiative aims to educate, challenge, and spark action from all sectors of our society — citizens, communities, businesses, non-profits, faith based institutions, philanthropic organizations, and government — to ensure military families have the support they have earned.”
In this post, a Silent Partner of a serving gay servicemember asks the First Lady and Dr. Biden not to forget them. – PLEASE NOTE: There is a new Facebook page – Military Partners and Families Coalition. UPDATE: Also please note this link to Servicemembers United’s Campaign for Military Partners and see below statement from Servicemembers Legal Defense Network- Karen Ocamb)
An Admiral Mullen Moment
By an LGBT Silent Partner
On Feb. 2, 2010, Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, looked hostile Republican Senators in the eye and told them unwelcome news: He thinks gays should be allowed to serve openly in the armed forces. I was a witness to history in that Senate hearing and felt the wave of raw emotion that swept the room. Quiet, spontaneous weeping rippled through an audience peppered with gay and lesbian veterans. The highest ranking uniformed member of the military had just stated emphatically that currently serving gay and lesbian Servicemembers are worthy of our national respect.
It was a defining moment. “Speaking for myself and myself only, it is my personal belief that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly would be the right thing to do,” the nation’s top military officer told the members of the Senate Armed Services Committee. “No matter how I look at this issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens. For me personally, it comes down to integrity — theirs as individuals and ours as an institution.”
On Tuesday, April 12, First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden will launch the Military Families Initiative to support and honor America’s service members and their families. The initiative aims to educate, challenge, and spark action from all sectors of our society — citizens, communities, businesses, non-profits, faith based institutions, philanthropic organizations, and government — to ensure military families have the support they have earned.
But this initiative will have a glaring omission. Our gay and lesbian families, serving in silence, will be overlooked. Our military families have invisibly navigated their daily lives through the unique challenge of serving this country under the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy and our families will continue to be invisible to the Military Families Initiative.
Our children will be in the classrooms that Mrs. Obama visits – though she just won’t know it because our children are conditioned not to tell. Our Soldiers will be on the bases she visits, but she won’t seek them out. Our families will be outside the front gate, but no one will invite us in.
We have shared the same sacrifices of our straight peers, without a Family Readiness Group to guide us. Our families are waiting to tell the First Lady our powerful stories of multiple deployments, changing jobs and school districts, missed graduations, and Skyped birthdays. We want the First Lady to understand that we also have struggled through family reintegration following grueling combat tours.
Mrs. Obama, how will you hear our stories? Do you and Dr. Biden even know that we exist?
The First Lady and Dr. Biden have an opportunity to educate American society with their own “Admiral Mullen Moment.” On April 12, their voices can speak for the invisible families, stating emphatically that the service and sacrifice of all military families deserve the support they have earned.
Statement from Servicemembers Legal Defense Network:
http://ukgaynews.org.uk/latest.htmServicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) Executive Director Aubrey Sarvis today released the following statement regarding the scheduled launch tomorrow of First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Joining Forces” initiative in support of military families:“I have no doubt the First Lady shares the President’s goal of seeing open military service a reality this year. Mrs. Obama, the President, and the service chiefs all recognize that gay and lesbian service members are serving today, and that they have families who should be recognized. In fact, the Comprehensive Review Working Group created an opportunity for their voices to be heard in a confidential manner.“Unfortunately, because ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is still the law, our LGB service members and their families will probably not be an official part of this week’s public activities. However, the First Lady’s welcomed visits to our military bases underscore why we need certification and repeal sooner rather than later, hopefully before the end of this quarter. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network looks forward to Mrs. Obama having the opportunity to sit down with LGB service members and their families later this year when Don’t Ask is no longer the law. We believe the First Lady also looks forward to that opportunity once repeal is in place. In the interim, I remain confident that Mrs. Obama and the President value the unselfish contributions and sacrifices our LGB military families are making today and will find appropriate ways to acknowledge them this week.”##STILL AT RISK: Despite the President signing the bill authorizing repeal of DADT, it is still unsafe for service members to come out until 60 days after certification by President Obama, Secretary Gates, and Admiral Mullen. Warning to service members: www.SLDN.org/StillAtRiskSLDN FREE HOTLINE: Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender service members with questions are urged to contact the SLDN hotline to speak with a staff attorney: 202-328-3244 x100.ABOUT SLDN: Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) was established in 1993 when “Don’t Ask” originally passed. In addition to working on repeal, SLDN offers free, confidential legal services to those impacted by the discriminatory law. Last year the organization received its 10,000th call for assistance to its legal hotline.
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