Herman Cain Starts A Women Site for Cain

wonkette.com
 By KIRSTEN BOYD JOHNSON

Oh look! Herman Cain has launched an adorable purply website for the ladies where they can write in and say flattering things about their favorite sex creep. Don’t forget to include your picture, where you live and your email address while you’re at it, ladies! (Yes, the site actually asks for these things.) Herman Cain’s little black book has been getting a little thin these days!

We really have no idea what this website is supposed to prove, other than there appear to be a roughly equal number of women out there who still mysteriously think Herman Cain is not creepy compared to the “thousands” of women Herman Cain says might come forward to accuse him of sexual harassment or affairs.

But let us together randomly sift through the hilarious pick-up lines from some of his supporters!

Oh here right away we have a nice message from “Adele,” can you guess where she is from?

The moral compass in this country really scares me too. It wasn’t until I heard you speak that I felt we can get this country back on a path of respect from the world.

Correct answer: she is from Arizona! Imagine that.

“Angela” is not even convinced that Herman Cain was trying to hit on females!

I believe these “women” are looking for money and attention and have been groomed by the “Demonacrats” to be a bunch of bad actress’.

“Kim” has air-tight proof that Herman Cain could not have sexually harassed any women, because she herself has never been sexually harassed:

I am so turned off by these women who get their 5 minutes of fame – they set women back a century. They are an insult to sucessful working women. I have been successfully self employed in a male dominated industry, commercial real estate, and never once did I have a problem with any male counterpart.

And perhaps the most sage advice of all, from “Vivian”:

Remember Clarence Thomas and hang in there.

And ON AND ON AND ON. A hundred points to the first Wonketteer who gets a submission past the moderators. [Women for Herman Cain]

And here’s an improvement, via joost5 on the Tumblr: