What is Wrong With Trump Lawyers? They are Idiots

Howard Kleinhendler, Sidney Powell, Rudy Giuliani, and Alina Habba are all among the 16 lawyers who have been sanctioned for lawsuits supporting former President Donald Trump. AP; AP; Reuters; Getty Images

 

By:

David W. Rudlin

Author of the Inspector McLean Mystery 

What is wrong with Trump’s lawyers?

They’re idiots.

Very thirsty idiots.

Look what happens to them. Michael Cohen got sent to jail, and will almost certainly never work as a lawyer again.

Apparently, Inebriated Rudy is a laughing stock, the guy known for standing in front of Four Seasons Landscaping while black shoe polish ran down the side of his face. His license to practice law is suspended in both New York and D.C. He recently testified before a grand jury in Georgia, who reported that (names redacted) lied under oath and should be prosecuted. Rudy might not be one of them, but the fact there’s even a possibility — and it’s a very, very strong one — is pretty shocking given that he was the lawyer to arguably the most powerful man in the world until a few months ago.

Sidney Powell? Tucker Carlson texted that she was “lying” about the 2020 election being stolen. Laura Ingraham responded “Sidney is a complete nut. No one will work with her.” That’s all part of the record in a $1.6 BILLION lawsuit against Fox for pretending Sidney wasn’t batshit crazy and passing on her lies.

The fact this is all now on the record is a problem for Sid, as she’s got her own $1.3 billion lawsuit from Dominion, and she’s highly likely to lose.

Christina Bobb was told by another trump lawyer to sign a statement saying there were no more stolen secrets at Mar-a-Largo, which we now know was a lie. She added some weasel language, but unless she was willing to turn on the higher-ups who ordered her to produce a false statement, she could also lose her license.

And there’s more. Lots, lots more. Any halfway decent lawyer knows that no one goes from trump’s side to Fame, Fortune, and Respect. They do, however, go to jail and the poor house. They also know that trump never pays his bills, so anyone who isn’t desperate simply says no.

That leaves people like Alina Habba, shown below. She has 10 years of experience representing clients like a student who sued his university for a refund when classes went online during COVID. Hardly the sort of background you’d expect for someone facing the first criminal indictment of a president in US history.

So why did trump hire her? For starters, she’d take the job. And she looks like Melania. More to the point, she looks like a Fox News on-air personality — and here’s where we get to the heart of the matter.

For trump, every lawsuit and every indictment has two components: legal and PR. He cares FAR more about the latter, as he’s convinced if he wins public opinion the courts will be afraid to rule against him. In those rare cases where they do, he can fundraise off the back of these “corrupt” “Biden lawyers” who are “never Trumpers” and undoubtedly working for the Chinese.

Habba will read the lines he hands her while appearing sympathetic to a Fox audience.

The fact that she’s WAY out of her depth doesn’t matter.

And won’t until she ends up in a cell in the Michael Cohen wing of a federal prison.