Gay marriage law should be an adoption bonanza for the kids that needs it
NEW YORK (AP) — First comes love,then comes marriage. Now adoption
lawyers and agencies in New York say
they're getting ready for a baby boom as
same-sex couples emboldened by the
state's new gay marriage law take the
next step and try to adopt children.
New York will allow same-sex marriages
beginning July 24, becoming the most
populous state to legalize such weddings. Thousands of couples are expected
to tie the knot.
beginning July 24, becoming the most
populous state to legalize such weddings. Thousands of couples are expected
to tie the knot.
The state already permits unmarried couples, both gay and straight, to adopt
children. But a wedding ring is an important milestone in a relationship —
and can also bolster a couple's case as they try to impress social workers,
adoption agencies and birth mothers during the often competitive adoption
process, couples and adoption experts say.
children. But a wedding ring is an important milestone in a relationship —
and can also bolster a couple's case as they try to impress social workers,
adoption agencies and birth mothers during the often competitive adoption
process, couples and adoption experts say.
"It's sort of the next natural progression," said Jonathan Truong of Brooklyn,
who decided to adopt a boy after marrying his longtime partner, Ed Cowen,
in Canada. "You have that feeling of wanting to be in a family."
who decided to adopt a boy after marrying his longtime partner, Ed Cowen,
in Canada. "You have that feeling of wanting to be in a family."
Experts won't know for sure whether adoptions have increased in the five
other states, plus Washington, D.C., that have legalized gay marriage until
the results of the 2010 census are released this year, said Gary Gates,
a demographer at the Williams Institute, a think tank at the University
of California-Los Angeles.
other states, plus Washington, D.C., that have legalized gay marriage until
the results of the 2010 census are released this year, said Gary Gates,
a demographer at the Williams Institute, a think tank at the University
of California-Los Angeles.
But nationwide, about 19,000 gay couples had adopted children as of 2009,
he said. That's up from 10,700 couples in 2000 — the same year Vermont
began offering civil unions and four years before Massachusetts became
the first state to legalize same-sex marriage.
he said. That's up from 10,700 couples in 2000 — the same year Vermont
began offering civil unions and four years before Massachusetts became
the first state to legalize same-sex marriage.
"I think they will feel more entitled to be a family under the new law," said
Susan Watson, director of U.S. adoptions at the Spence-Chapin adoption
agency in Manhattan.
Susan Watson, director of U.S. adoptions at the Spence-Chapin adoption
agency in Manhattan.
The prospect has alarmed conservative religious groups that consider
same-sex relationships and parenting immoral.
same-sex relationships and parenting immoral.
"Sanctioning such unions as 'marriages' only makes the violation worse;
and adding children to the mix, worse still," said Avi Shafran, a spokesman
for the Agudath Israel of America, an Orthodox Jewish group.
and adding children to the mix, worse still," said Avi Shafran, a spokesman
for the Agudath Israel of America, an Orthodox Jewish group.
For lesbian couples, the road to parenthood is relatively easy. All that's needed
is a sperm donor or a cooperative male friend who will agree to terminate
parental rights when the baby is born. The other partner then adopts her
partner's child through a "second-parent" adoption.
is a sperm donor or a cooperative male friend who will agree to terminate
parental rights when the baby is born. The other partner then adopts her
partner's child through a "second-parent" adoption.
The new marriage statute will make the second-parent adoption unnecessary
under New York law. But most adoption lawyers are recommending that
parents do it anyway to protect themselves if they travel or move to a state
that doesn't recognize gay marriage.
under New York law. But most adoption lawyers are recommending that
parents do it anyway to protect themselves if they travel or move to a state
that doesn't recognize gay marriage.
"The state where you're vacationing may not see things the same way,"
said Nina Rumbold, an adoption lawyer.
said Nina Rumbold, an adoption lawyer.
For men or for women who can't conceive, the process is more complicated.
Cowen and Truong said the urge to start a family began after they got
married in Vancouver, British Columbia, in 2005. They looked into hiring
a surrogate mother, but that route was expensive and fraught with legal hurdles.
New York prohibits surrogacy-for-hire, so they must be done in another state.
married in Vancouver, British Columbia, in 2005. They looked into hiring
a surrogate mother, but that route was expensive and fraught with legal hurdles.
New York prohibits surrogacy-for-hire, so they must be done in another state.
Adopting from another country was a difficult option because most countries
bar same-sex couples from adopting.
bar same-sex couples from adopting.
The couple decided to try for an American baby and began the months-long
process of applying to be parents. There were forms to fill out documenting
both men's background and finances. Then a social worker came to their
Brooklyn apartment and did a long interview.
process of applying to be parents. There were forms to fill out documenting
both men's background and finances. Then a social worker came to their
Brooklyn apartment and did a long interview.
Next came the hunt for a pregnant woman looking to give up her baby.
To get around the long waiting lists at many New York adoption agencies,
many couples advertise themselves directly to mothers through classified
ads and websites.
To get around the long waiting lists at many New York adoption agencies,
many couples advertise themselves directly to mothers through classified
ads and websites.
Cowen and Truong bought newspaper ads and rented a toll-free number.
Worried about spooking young mothers, they hired an answering service
to explain to callers that they were a gay couple.
Worried about spooking young mothers, they hired an answering service
to explain to callers that they were a gay couple.
They were surprised to find that many didn't care.
"A lot of them were brought up without a father in the home, and so they
really miss their father and they think the idea of two fathers is amazing,"
Cowen said.
really miss their father and they think the idea of two fathers is amazing,"
Cowen said.
Other mothers felt that two working men made the household more financially
secure, he said. Truong manages the laboratory at a hospital, and Cowen owns
an advertising firm.
secure, he said. Truong manages the laboratory at a hospital, and Cowen owns
an advertising firm.
Less than a year later after starting the application process, the two men were
the proud fathers of Franklin, now a bubbly 2-year-old. Truong is "Daddy" and
Cowen is "Dada."
the proud fathers of Franklin, now a bubbly 2-year-old. Truong is "Daddy" and
Cowen is "Dada."
New York's new marriage law comes as several other states are wrestling with
the issue of adoptions by gay couples. In April, an Arkansas court struck down
a ban on such adoptions. Arizona, meanwhile, passed a law giving heterosexual
married couples preference.
the issue of adoptions by gay couples. In April, an Arkansas court struck down
a ban on such adoptions. Arizona, meanwhile, passed a law giving heterosexual
married couples preference.
In Illinois, a Catholic organization that licenses foster and adoptive parents is
suing the state over a law barring discrimination against gay or unmarried
couples. Three Catholic dioceses have suspended their adoption placement
services, following the lead of Catholic charities in Massachusetts and
Washington, D.C.
suing the state over a law barring discrimination against gay or unmarried
couples. Three Catholic dioceses have suspended their adoption placement
services, following the lead of Catholic charities in Massachusetts and
Washington, D.C.
"Children do best when raised by a married mother and father," said Peter
Sprigg, a policy adviser for the Washington-based Family Research Council,
which has fought gay marriage. "Mothers and fathers contribute to the
parenting task in unique ways."
Sprigg, a policy adviser for the Washington-based Family Research Council,
which has fought gay marriage. "Mothers and fathers contribute to the
parenting task in unique ways."
In New York, the new marriage law contains a clause allowing religious groups to deny "accommodations, advantages, facilities or privileges" to same-sex couples.
That should allow church-affiliated adoption agencies to deal only with heterosexual
couples, avoiding the legal controversies that have flared in other states, Rumbold said.
That should allow church-affiliated adoption agencies to deal only with heterosexual
couples, avoiding the legal controversies that have flared in other states, Rumbold said.
Same-sex adoptions in New York date to 1995, when a state court decision cleared
the way for all unmarried couples to adopt.
the way for all unmarried couples to adopt.
A 2009 Census Bureau survey showed no evidence of an increase in the percentage
of same-sex couples adopting in Massachusetts after that state legalized gay
marriage in 2004. But the sample was so small — only about 100 couples —
that estimates are very imprecise, Gates said. Figures from the 2010 Census
should offer a more accurate look.
of same-sex couples adopting in Massachusetts after that state legalized gay
marriage in 2004. But the sample was so small — only about 100 couples —
that estimates are very imprecise, Gates said. Figures from the 2010 Census
should offer a more accurate look.
The Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange, a group that educates
families about adopting foster children, said it has seen a rise in the number of
same-sex couples seeking information since 2004. They now account for 381
of the 3,360 couples in the group's database, or about 11 percent.
families about adopting foster children, said it has seen a rise in the number of
same-sex couples seeking information since 2004. They now account for 381
of the 3,360 couples in the group's database, or about 11 percent.
Vincent Russo, a spokesman for Connecticut's probate court system, said judges i
n that state have noted an increase in same-sex couples adopting since gay
marriage was legalized there in 2008.
n that state have noted an increase in same-sex couples adopting since gay
marriage was legalized there in 2008.
Hill reported from Albany, New York.
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