AT His Funeral This 85 YrOld Vet Left Letter to be Read: “Have Been Gay All My Life"
A military veteran who went on to serve as a firefighter and owned a local radio station revealed in his obituary that he was gay, a secret he said he held his entire life.
Col. Edward Thomas Ryan died at age 85 on June 1, the first day of Pride Month, his niece Linda Sargent told "Good Morning America."
After listing his career accolades and his survivors, Ryan's obituary, published June 8 in the Albany Times-Union, included a message that he wrote prior to his death.
"I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: through grade school, through High School, through College, through Life," the obituary reads. "I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul."
Ryan's message continued, "I'm sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."
Sargent said her uncle, whom she called Uncle Ed and whom she cared for in his final years, spoke with her about the message he wanted to share after his passing.
"I said, 'Uncle Ed, if that's what you want to tell the world, tell the world that you're gay. Don't be ashamed of it,'" Sargent recalled. "He was a great man, and I'm just so sorry that he had to hide who he was."
Ryan lived most of his life in upstate New York, including Albany, where he died, and Rensselaer, where he was raised.
He attended a local Catholic church and was the youngest of six siblings, all of whom are now deceased, according to Sargent.
Though Ryan was close with his family, Sargent said she does not remember him discussing his private life, including his sexual orientation."I think his siblings knew, but it was never spoken about," Sargent said.
Sargent said she never met the longtime partner, Cavagnaro, whom Ryan wrote about in his obituary. But she said she did hear her uncle talk in his final days about wanting to reunite with Cavagnaro after his death.
"He wanted to go home. He wanted to be with him, that I do know," Sargent said. "He never had another partner after that. He was the love of his life."
Sargent said she believes Ryan feared facing backlash if he publicly discussed his sexual orientation earlier in life, especially due to his military service.
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