Biblical Marriage What is it? 2Sam1:25"Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women.”
What is ‘biblical’ marriage, family?
When questioned about the opposition his company, Chick-fil-A, has received on its position supporting the “traditional family” and opposition to marriage equality for same-sex couples, CEO Dan Cathy said, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit.”
Let’s look at some Biblical examples of marriage and family.
Approximately 4,000 years ago, Abraham — father of the Jewish and Arab people and patriarch of Jews, Christians and Muslims — and his wife, Sarah, who was his half-sister having a common father, were unable to conceive a child. Sarah told Abraham to conceive a child with her Egyptian maidservant Hagar. Hagar bore a son, Ishmael. Soon afterward, Sarah also conceived a son, whom she and Abraham named Isaac. After Isaac’s birth, Abraham banished Hagar and Ishmael into the desert.
Deuteronomy 25:5: “When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her.” This applies even if the living brother is already married.
Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
And, 1 Corinthians 14:33-35: “As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silence in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate … If there is anything they desire to know, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.”
Do parents actually subscribe to Exodus 21:15 and 17, which dictate: “And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.”
Some biblical scholars interpret the relationships between David and Jonathan and Naomi and Ruth as romantic love. In 1 Samuel 20:16-17: “So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David … And Jonathan made David vow again because of his love for him, because he loved him as he loved his own life.” When Jonathan was later killed, David bemoans his death in 2 Samuel 1:25-26: “… I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan …Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women.”
Naomi and Ruth likewise may have loved each other romantically. Ruth 1:14: “And they lift up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law, but Ruth clung unto (Naomi).” The word for “clung” in Hebrew is “dabaq,” the same word used in Genesis 2:24 to illustrate Adam’s feelings toward Eve. The vow Ruth made to Naomi is the vow exchanged in many marriage ceremonies for different-sex couples. Ruth 1:16-17: “… Where you go, I will go; where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die — there will I be buried …”
It is clear that Cathy and company selectively pick biblical texts to justify opposing basic civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. In reality, “families” come in many forms.
Warren J. Blumenfeld is an associate professor in the School of Education at Iowa State University.
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