He Tried to Date two Men~~He was not good at it

Kevin Turner, left, and Dr. Nicholas France.Credit...Kim-Trang Photography

 

After getting caught in a moment right out of a rom-com, it was clear Kevin Turner had a choice to make. He chose Dr. Nicholas France.

By Vivian Ewing

The New York Times

Kevin Perry Turner was not typically the type to date more than one person at a time. In fact, the first time he tried it, things went awry within weeks.

In July 2016, Mr. Turner, now 37, was casually seeing someone when he matched with Dr. Nicholas Paul Tomlin France, 45, on the dating app The League. He said he normally did not have the “attention span or time” to play the field, but after Dr. France reached out to him, Mr. Turner saw no harm in having a date. He also thought Dr. France was cute.

Their first meeting was in early August at the Upper West Side location of Vanguard Wine Bar in Manhattan, near where both lived. They hit it off.

Just a couple of weeks later, he was leaving Dr. France’s building early one morning, after spending the night. And who should see him, but the other man he had been dating. 

“It was clear I was doing the walk of shame,” Mr. Turner said.

That very evening, Mr. Turner had plans to meet back up with Dr. France. But, to smooth things over with the other man, Mr. Turner decided to bail on Dr. France.

Mr. Turner made up an excuse. “He told me he was unwell, that he couldn’t see me,” Dr. France recalled.

So, Mr. Turner and the other man went to the now-closed Open House Club in the East Village. Upon arrival, Mr. Turner made an unfortunate discovery. There, at the back of the club, was Dr. France.

“It’s a small, gay world,” Mr. Turner said.

Dr. France was not happy to see him and his date. While his friends brought him over to the bar, “I was using some expletives about Kevin,” Dr. France said.

Mr. Turner knew he could not keep dating two men at once. He had a choice to make — and he chose Dr. France. He called and apologized. 

 

“I was like, ‘OK, I was worth a phone call, let’s give this another chance,’” Dr. France said.

 The two grooms, dressed in black suits, kiss in the middle of a field of tall grass and other plants with trees in the background. 

Credit...Kim-Trang Photography

With their relationship back on track, they focused on each other, and on blending their lives.

Mr. Turner, who is from Hockessin, Del., has a bachelor’s degree in accounting from the University of Delaware. He is the compliance officer at Stryker, a medical technology company based in Kalamazoo, Mich. He is also a certified public accountant and is pursuing a law degree from Seton Hall University School of Law in Newark, N.J.

Dr. France grew up in Ware, a town near London, and moved to the United States in 2013. He has a bachelor’s degree in pharmacology from King’s College London, and a medical degree from the University of Warwick in Coventry, England. He is the vice president and therapeutic area head of neurology and ophthalmology at Alexion, AstraZeneca Rare Disease, a pharmaceutical company.

In 2018, the couple moved into an apartment together in Chelsea. Their relationship progressed more smoothly than it began — at least for a while.

During a trip to Hawaii in July 2021, Dr. France discovered a misunderstanding. Early on in their relationship, he thought that Mr. Turner had said he did not want to get married. But, apparently, this wasn’t true: A friend who had traveled to Hawaii with them told Dr. France that Mr. Turner did want to get married, and soon.

Dr. France was on board. So, once home, he went out to buy rings and planned to propose to Mr. Turner during a trip to Scotland later that year. But, just before leaving, they both got Covid and had to cancel the trip. 

With plans thwarted, the couple spent the end of the year quarantining in their apartment in Hoboken, N.J., where they had moved in 2020. Dr. France decided the proposal needed to happen anyway, so, on New Year’s Day 2022, he got down on one knee while Mr. Turner was emptying the dishwasher. Mr. Turner said yes and both he and Dr. France put on their gold bands.

“I ended up proposing in the kitchen in Hoboken instead of the castle in Scotland,” Dr. France said.

On Sept. 14, the couple were married at Taconic Ridge Farm, a wedding venue in Hillsdale, N.Y. Elizabeth Schwarzbach, a friend of Dr. France who was ordained by the Universal Life Church for the event, officiated the ceremony.

Both Mr. Turner and Dr. France described the day as “surreal,” but it was Mr. Turner who thought the path to get there felt predestined. Back in 2016, that decision to pursue Dr. France was not really a decision at all.

“I knew where my heart was the entire time and there never really was a choice to make,” he said. “I feel like it was already made for me.”