Pres.Jimmy Carter Has Entered a Hospice, Time to Say Good Bye~His History and Mine

San Francisco

 

What is a Hospice?

Hospice= A Home providing care for the very sick or terminally Ill

 Most people are not sure what it is. I got acquainted with the term during the AIDS Death Epidemic when 20 yr olds were dying within a couple of weeks of becoming sick. It was similar to COVID-19 except once you went to the hospice or even before you were dead. Many already getting sick and knowing the end term for them would just OD or jump in the Hudson at night. 

I had a dear friend, we were as close as I go with a friend [articular in the way we met who told me he was a very different and determined Young guy a neighbor, older than he look because of his beard. He said to me one day he was moving to Manhattan with a new guy he met. The guy was doing well and had an apt. in Manhattan. One day he call me at work to see if I could have lunch with him. He had disappeared about two months later,  every time I called I was told I could not come to see him because they were not sure of what he had but he did have pneumonia in both lungs. Eventually, We had lunch on 5th Ave Midtown.  His voice had changed. He felt like he was not getting enough air in his lungs and he wasn't, he had double pneumonia. He told me with very little emotion but with extreme sadness that he had AIDS.

 I tried to be positive and not show how much emotion, to look strong. Which is all wrong. You should show what you feel in the face of death. But I could not come to terms that such a young life that I share so much with from a bed to food to going out. will die. Die so young, I decided he was not going to die he still look good, there had to be something. I knew nothing about AIDS like most people. There was no information out there and what it was was wrong. I was 28 and he was younger than me about 22. Moved to New York because he was gay and he felt accepted here and could have his own circle of friends.

 I always thought why we did not become partners because we had things in common but I found him trying to explore certain things in the gay world that I already had. I was in the seminary during all my teens and when I came out I figured I was bi or gay and had an opportunity to learn how to be gay or learn how to be totally straight. I was not sure I could reverse myself but I would try. I was gay. But what I had was getting all those wishes and wants out of my system. I did not want to find myself as an older man and still be fooling around. My idea of being in a relationship that I wanted was monogamous and I wanted to make sure this was not going to be a problem wondering how it will be being with Blondie or black or Latin, or a monk, Priest, etc. In New York City you have the United Nations and that should tell you everything. Young and fine looking I got lucky many times.

My friend's name was Ian. I loved him as a friend. He was good looking taller than me and Im tall, with blond hair and greenish eyes. He had been going thru what I went through in my early 20s. of experimenting. I was lucky because when I was playing around AIDS was not even an epidemic yet. With Ian, he got it when it had just been named Gay Cancer.

Ian's AIDS was not going to be so good. But he figured he was not going to be in a bed with a Morphine drip waiting to die. He was going to take New York right inside of him like you take a prostitute and not think about what you might get. In the middle of the night or early morning, Ian took off his clothes, took nothing with him, and walked from the East side of Manhattan to the Hudson River and jumped. He was found a couple of weeks later under the George Wash. bridge, He could have jumped from the bridge and gotten caught below. Actually, that sounds more like Ian. He knew how to swim and he wanted the impact to do the job.

I always thought I could save Ian but the thing was I did not think Ian was ready for my type of relationship. Still, something inside of me tells me that if he knew I was faithful he would be too. Maybe I thought I could not be. When I met him I never had a monogamous relationship. It seems no one wanted one. Most people have come to NYC from broken homes with parents do disagree with the way their own sons were.

He was still experimenting. I already had settled down with a partner, the wrong partner I always resent him for being selfish and such a liar, and cheater. I would have preferred Ian any day. But we live with our decision and sometimes is better to wait I tell myself.

So that was AIDs and we had a president (Ronald)Who would not say AIDs nor Gay nor Homosexual (New York Times was also like that) but the President had money to look and find out what was this virus. How do you get it, find a cure. I had friends that abandoned me because they thought I was too social, they also believed mosquitoes could give it to you. They stopped shaking hands, I was surprised people were not waiting for masks..oh...It was GAY cancer. You are not gay don't worry about it/People were untrusting and thinking insane things. The amazing part was that Married men were still cruising other cars in the parking lot to give or get a BJ. They were not scared as long as the person was not too skinny or looking sickly. During the day at work, they would talk about how careful they had to be during this virus. 

We had an ex-President Name Jimmy Carter from Georgia. One term president who lost to the antigay President. Had he been President he would have moved the earth and heavens to get answers and meds on Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). He and his wife worked in the south which was ignorant and poor. He is responsible for saving many. When meds became available he fought for HIV-positive individuals would get them free and not progress to get the Virus AIDS (You need to get HIV in order to get AIDS). There is so much more about Jimmy Carter, And we will find out more about him> If you have something to say about him, now is the time to say, to him or to others that he is still alive. These times in which we elected a criminal man a man that will commit treason more than once. He is still loose planning to run again. This is what could bring this republic down. The justice system has never been just but now is out in the open and if they think the Magas will give them a hard time if Trump goes to jail, I would not worry about MAGAS but the decent American. Justice delayed is justice denied.

I hope President Jimmy Carter is comfortable and goes feeling good about what he has done for many individuals. Not in masses but in retail. One at a time. I saw him one and those bright. blue eyes walking on 34th Street campaigning in NYC. Not a tall man but a likable human being. An engineer in the Navy who works himself into President. Did not have to steal money from wounded vets to pay himself. Yet they gave him hell because his brother Billy loved beer too Much. Republicans you know. But we can one admitted drunk at the Supreme Court. When You see President Carter you get hope that things will get better, that's how I felt when I learned how he was working with pharma and the Health dept. to get meds.

💞Adam Gonzalez, written for *ABI.  All names and locations are real.