There is No Such Thing as Gay Sex, Just Different Positions and Know-how

 Mormon looking for the missionary

For heterosexuals, gay sex might be something of an enigma. There may be many who have no clue as to how gay men actually have sex and the quirks that come with it. What is a bro job? And why are they so popular? Gay people, in general, are much more well-versed in heterosexual sexual practices due to the educational and cultural bias toward straight people in this area. 

It’s worth noting that I am speaking from the perspective of a gay man, not the entire LGBTQ community, and I aim to enlighten members of the straight community on how gay men prepare, engage in and enjoy sex between ourselves. 1. It takes preparation One of the best aspects of a sexual experience can be its spontaneity. An out-of-the-blue moment of passion sounds much more appealing than previously planned sexual activity. For some gay men, however, sex can be quite regimented. This is of course down to the sometimes necessary preparations gay men take before engaging in anal sex. 

For obvious reasons, anal can be a messy experience if the proper preparation isn’t carried out beforehand, and that prep can be both time-consuming and uncomfortable. The primary anal sex preparation method for many gay men is douching. For those who aren’t familiar with the concept, douching is when a person intentionally cleans out their rectum using water and their douching equipment of choice, such as enemas and douche bulbs. Dwelling on the potential messy risks of anal sex and the activity of cleaning beforehand is a less than romantic thought, but putting in the effort to make sure anal sex goes off without a hitch is worth it in the end. 2. Not everyone is a match.

One important element of a gay man’s sex life is their choice of sexual position. Our heterosexual friends might assume that gay sex is fairly straightforward when it comes to positions and preferences in the bedroom, but this is not the case. When it comes to anal sex you may have heard the terms top and bottom: a top is a term used to describe a gay man whose preference is to act as the insertive sexual partner, whereas a bottom is a gay man who prefers to act as the receptive partner. The next most frequently used position preference is known as versatile: a gay man who is happy to act as either. These varieties of positions can sometimes mean that not everyone is a match in the bedroom. I myself have experienced awkward sexual encounters in which my partner of choice had the same position preference as me. We still managed to enjoy a satisfying sexual experience, but we both acknowledged we had restrictions due to our position identity. 3. Anal sex is enjoyable Many people in both the heterosexual and homosexual communities are resigned to the supposed fact that anal sex is painful. While this is the case for many, anal sex can still be a fun sexual practice.

 It’s no secret that anal penetration can be painful, especially for beginners, however, practice makes perfect and once familiar with anal sex and how to properly engage in it, for example by using lubrication, it can be pleasurable. 

Many straight men are surprised to learn there is such thing as the male G-spot. The prostate gland is an ultra-sensitive part of a man’s body. When it is stimulated during anal sex, a much more pleasurable orgasm can be achieved. 4. Not everyone does anal I’m sure that for many straight people the first thing that springs to mind when asked about gay sex is anal, and there is a misconception that every gay man takes part in and enjoys anal sex. But this is simply not the case. 

Many gay men, just like some straight men and women, aren’t attracted to the idea of anal and do not engage in it. This might lead straight people to wonder if a gay person who doesn’t enjoy anal sex can fully enjoy a sexual experience with other gay people, and the answer is, of course, yes, they can. Sexual enjoyment can be experienced in many forms, such as oral, and still, lead to a satisfying sex life for a gay man. 5. It’s just sex (Picture: Muffin for Metro.co.uk) Referring to sex in the homosexual community as ‘gay sex’ is used to differentiate sexual activity between heterosexual and gay people. This label can perpetuate the sometimes damaging idea that gay sex is a somehow foreign or unusual activity, but it’s worth noting that to us gay people, gay sex is simply just sex. Gay people enjoy the same intimate pleasures sex has to offer and are turned on by the excitement and physicality of our sexual partners in the same way straight people are. There really is no difference between straight and gay sex besides the fact we are having sex with people of the same gender. This might make the whole conversation about gay sex among straight people seem a lot less interesting, but it’s the truth.

  METRO

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