Fez Whatley DJ 20 Years in NY } Comes Out

Fez Whatley of ‘Ron & Fez’ on SiriusXM radio

It was only after playing a gay character on the radio for 20 years, says Fez Whatley, that he realized he is one.

So last Friday on the “Ron and Fez” show over Sirius XM (XM 105, Sirius 206), he came out.

“I can’t be a part of ‘it gets better’ until I make sure things are going to get better for me,” he said.

In contrast to the almost offhanded way that “White Collar” star Matt Bomer came out a couple of weeks ago, Whatley, 47, said his journey was marked by anger and denial — to the world, to his friends and to himself.

The Fez character on the show, which was once heard on the late WNEW-FM, has had what Whatley calls “a wicked gay tongue” since Fez joined Ron Bennington on the old “Ron & Ron” program in Florida more than 20 years ago.

Fez was “eccentric, over the top, flamboyant and really gay,” says Whatley. “He took down celebrities, talked gossip, lampooned women.”

But when someone asked Whatley if he were really gay, he says, “I’d tell them, ‘Yes, 6-10 a.m. weekdays.’ ”

He never felt any interest in girls, he said, but he figured someday he’d meet “the right one.”

Instead, he said, he realized he was developing “high school crushes” on straight guys. Finally he couldn’t deny it any longer.

“I was just like the character I created. I’m gay.”

Liberating? Nope.

“It was devastating,” he said. “

Fez was no longer a character I played on the air. He was me. People were no longer going to be laughing with me. They’d be laughing at me.

“And now it wasn’t funny any more. I got depressed. I became severely anxious.”

The reason will be familiar to almost everyone who has struggled with sexual identity issues.

“I was still dealing with the shame and guilt of growing up in a religious family and thinking this was wrong,” he said. “It felt like there were too many years of denial to embrace this now.

“I started talking about gay issues, but from a place of anger, not understanding. The fun was gone. All that was there was a really angry closet case.”

And the only way to deal with it, he said, was to come out and “be honest about who I am.”

Response to Whatley’s emergence from the audience was immediate and positive. One listener called to say that Whatley’s comments inspired his best friend to come out immediately after hearing the show.