You’re Gay

Last night little Destruction came home from the park and announced
that some bullies called him gay.  My mind instantly went to the two
 little boys who recently committed suicide after receiving  taunts like this.

I turned my head and asked, “What is a gay man?”

He is someone who loves other men like you and daddy love each other,”
 answered Destruction

“And”, I said.

“They are just like everyone else”, he responded.

“Therefore”, I stated “if they are just like everyone else, calling you gay is
 not really an insult now is it?  Calling someone gay as an insult is just
 someone who is  to dumb to come up with a real insult.”

He stopped and thought over what I stated and said, “you know what,
you’re right mom.”

Score one for momma.  I have always taken
the time to show him when I can images of gays and lesbians and point out that their love is the same as
the love he sees shared between his father and I.
 I think that because we have made an issue from
a very early age of pointing out that difference does
 not mean less than, this line of thought was very
 easy for my little Destruction to understand.

While it is very important that we demand that our
 schools enforce a zero tolerance policy for
 homophobia and transphobia, we also need to
 teach real and practical lessons in our home.  Despite the fact that funds like
 to speak about gays taking over, or removing rights from heterosexuals,
 the truth is that being bi-sexual, gay, or lesbian, still means that one exists
with a stigmatized identity.

I don’t know what my child's sexuality will be but regardless I want him to
 grow with a fundamental respect for all human beings and that begins
 by affirming life in all of its manifestations.  Just as children don’t perceive
 people of different races as inherently less than, they don’t see a GLBT
identity as deviant.  We actively teach them through the agents of
 socialization, that heterosexuality is the norm and the most desired sexuality.

Teaching my child about equality and respect for human beings is part

of my activism and it is part of how I show
my love  for them. 
A mind that is filled withhate does not reason,
it simply repeats ignorant rhetoric.  We cannot
count on our schools to teach our children
because the teachers and administration are all
steeped in the same heterosexist, transphobic
 culture as the obvious bigots. Unless one is
 committed to fighting underserved privilege on a daily basis,  one will
necessarily pass along the message of intolerance. 

Working to end  privilege is a lifetime journey and much of what we take
 for granted as normal has been specifically constructed to ensure the
 maintenance of a hierarchy of bodies.  Since most will face some area of stigmatization, teaching children to respect and maintain hierarchy as a
normal social order means that at some point we are affirming that they
 are less than. The power structure that we teach them to embrace will
 at some point work to deny their rights, or justify violence or hate speech
against them.

I choose to teach my child that there is power in  love and community.
 I choose to teach my child that ALL PEOPLE MATTER.  As I go
 through this journey, I am cognizant that even as an ally there is much
that I still must learn but even the acknowledgement of ignorance is
 powerful in a world that is committed to being purposefully obtuse.
 Ignorance is a temporary state of being if one chooses to learn whereas
 blind hatred turns the heart to a bitter pill.  Choose life, choose love
 and talk to your children everyday because to avoid such critical
 lessons is to turn your child over to the forces of intolerance and hatred.

This Posting appeared at womanist-musings web page. It was posted
 a while ago, but I thought it applies today like it did two years ago.
 adamfoxie*