Zeke Thomas revealed on a PSA that he had been raped twice, as a twelve year old and then as a 27 year old. He states that he did not like it and that he did not seek it out. He felt guilty about going through these two experiences. He is making a commercial and interviews about rape because he wants to start a bigger conversation so others don’t have to suffer in silence. Also April is victims of sexual assault month. Then let’s talk…
Mr. Thomas story is being structured by the media as someone who needs support and someone who has much courage to come out as someone who was rape twice. Let me have you read the story it was published by ABC news. Before the interviewed (referenced below) the moderator Robin Roberts warned the subject is dicey in case the little ones are around, even though Zeke Thomas is claiming he was raped at twelve. I would think you want to warn some little ones about rape. I find this interviewed bothersome. I have posted it as it appears at the ABC news site, not one word is changed.
When you read it I wonder what your reaction would be since you have the opportunity to be forewarned that there is something bothersome about the way this is being said. May be you will find it as a great article or with faults, missing something. May be is a good warning to guys who get rape to know that others have gotten rape, even if they are gay and of African American descent as Mr. Thomas Says. The article is being treated by the few stations that carried it with much respect like it was a cool message for adult men. The people talking about it seemed to be straight men but I am a gay man and find faults with it and I think it is a confusing message to put out for someone who is been sexually assaulted.
Rape is defined as per
“Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent"
“Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted”
DJ and producer Zeke Thomas is revealing publicly for the first time that he was raped twice.
Click HERE for more from the NSVRC on what you can do to prevent sexual violence
This is the end of April which has been named as Sexual Assault Prevention month and just perfect to end the moth with this article you are now reading. You can also be part of it by adding your thoughts at the end of the article at adamfoxie.blogspot.com main page if you are at the main page just at the bottom of this article.
Who Am I to Talk?
I am gay but I have never been raped. I had sex with an older boy when I was nine. He was my best friend, until that day. There were lies and selling me on it like a sheep being lead to greener pastures, as something that was done to kids to be a man, to have a penis as big as his, etc. However I know I made the final decision. Could he had force me? No because I was a fighter and it would have cost him with me and then my mother which he fear. Any friend even older guys that wanted me to spend time with them be bike riding or just hanging out would have to come home and I would ask my mom. My mom always said yes but she would give them a stern warning and make them responsible for anything that might happen to me.
I liked hanging out with guys older than me because they tended to be street smart and I never saw my self as such. I got some invitations when we were out in the woods alone. I had very fair skin and good looks, someone could believe I liked to hang out for something more than just hanging out.
I tended to have this cocky walk I picked up from my older brothers so no one thought I would be easy prey. I wonder sometimes how it would be if one of the men I hung out with decided to do something to me by force? It excited me somehow, maybe the part about being wanted by a full grown man but also a fear of pain and even at that age at the PAL League I belonged there was talk from the cops talking about some kid being taken to the emergency room for stitches because of a rape by a man. This was locker room talk between them so I always took it as truth and was scared of something like such happening to me.
I didn’t know I was gay or bi until my very late teens. I did feel more attracted to male friends than female but I was a growing man and all I wanted to be was a man, man. I talked to guys who have gotten rape when they were in sexual situations trying to hook someone and exposing themselves to danger from someone else. I have been told how it feels and I am glad I was never part of that experience but being close to guys that could have forced me if it wasn’t they were aware of the price they would pay. It taught me how to get out of dangerous situations but I have always been a risk taker and have always pushed the envelope. Having said all that, true I have not been raped but have been very close to being sexually abused also had the experience once of feeling (fondled) by one of my brothers. Had grown guys tell me we could do each other and I could go first…. haha..I’ve fallen for that one before! Another story for another day. I am not judging with this article but trying to correct the assumption that rape is just for a certain type of person, however some are in more danger than others and rape is not something that goes around like the common cold. Rape can be a danger to any man, be gay or straight. Im directing this article to mainly men but women as we know are much more of a target. If someone has been sexually assaulted the person needs support and a counselor knowledgeable in the subject. There were studies made around 2003 in which straight man said they fear gays because of the fear of getting rape and thus the homophobia. It made no sense for me then and other studies have been made about homophobia which have nothing to do with the fear of getting rape but rather having fear of being gay too or liking what gays do sand feeling guilty about it.
The rape of Mr. Thomas:
The first thing I don’t understand about Mr. Thomas interview with Good Morning America is the beginning when he states:
“Being gay, being African-American, it’s definitely something that I never imagined would happen to me,” Thomas told ABC News’ Robin Roberts.
He says that because he was gay and African American he did not think it would happen to him. Why? They were excepted/? As a gay man of any age you tend to know the danger zone i.e. Swimming naked with someone alone, sleep or shower in the home naked with another guy who is not your partner. Straight men do not get in those situations. Straight would be at risk from other straight men when they are alone and no female available. Statistics show that is when a straight man could be attacked. For gay men the assault could come from either. Again there are common sense things that one knows. Calling a bad sexual experience a rape might help the victim but it clouds the issue “ (I said No, that should have been sufficient! But, said the judge, I have statements and a recording from the neighbors next door saying that you kept saying Fuck me hard, harder”).
If another man overpowers another man (is this that happened to mr. Thomas?) The victims is going to need the police, medical attention and psychological counseling. Truthfully it would be a very minuscule percentage of victims that would report it.
Mr. Thomas says he was raped at 12 and still did not think it would happen to him?
It happened to me at nine or ten and yes I gave consent but I never put my self in the same situation again because I did not want to experience those guilty feelings for being taken as a fool! I felt so guilty I told my mom. I wanted to get rid of the guilt! It was a learning experience from my best friend and someone I trusted. Particularly when I knew he had started rumors about what happened like he had won a trophy. I hated the guy. I went looking for him once after finding out he spilled the beans. I found him out in the woods with a long knife cutting grass for his pet bunnies. I slapped him a few times hard, he just stood there, never raised his hand to me and Im surprised he never stabbed me. I never spoked to him again. Press charges? Oh yes but no way. To tell anyone else but my mom what happened even if he had spilled the beans, no way.
“At first I didn't realize what had happened, what had transpired. I knew that it was wrong, I knew that I did not want it. I did not seek it out,” he said of the incident at age 12. “I hadn't let my family know until much later that this had happened.”
I’m glad if Mr. Thomas feels better about this but I don’t think it’s going to help many sexually abused victims, gay or straight, man or woman.
My advice to a victim is to control your shame, understanding what happened so you wont be in the same situation again. If you are a guy and it happened by force and you don’t want it to happened to someone else, you need to report it but whether you do or not you need to talk about it with someone you trust. I told my mom. A counselor on this field would be great. Now with the internet you don’t even have to show your face. A female is always more at risk because the comparison of strength between the two. A woman or young girl would find lot of support now days. This is because many have taken the step of bringing this type of assault out in the open and made the assailant pay. Even if they don’t go to jail. Being registered as a sexual offender is a serious thing and is for life. Many see it as worse than jail. But jail is a good possibility. Make sure you can corroborate by seeking medical attention before a shower so you wont destroy any DNA.
To Mr. Thomas being this happened last year again, I hope he learns to hang out with better friends or and learn which places and situation one should avoid. Perpetrators of most rapes and sexual assaults is someone you know.
One place where I where I had friends tell me of guys trying to get them even when they said no is the baths and places like that. Sometimes using your mouth is more powerful than using your hands.
Sexual assault statistics, International and by country
A United Nations report compiled from government sources showed that more than 250,000 cases of rape or attempted rape were recorded by police annually. The reported data covered 65 countries.
The U.S. Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey states that on average there are 237,868 victims (age 12 or older) of sexual assault and rape each year. According to RAINN, every 107 seconds someone in America is sexually assaulted.
The victims of sexual assault:
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