New Study Shows Younger Gays Want Monogamous Relationships

                                                                       

As I spent my single-again social days meeting guys I liked but to be told interested but into hook ups only, not into relationships. This let me into going without it even though donating blood was not my primary intention like the guy on the UK.

 I felt cheap sleeping in different beds or bringing strangers to mine knowing I probably will not see that person again. I knew those days were over for me. Ever since the days of AIDS I felt compelled to be with someone even though alarms were going on that I was may be making a mistake. But I had fooled around long enough and many people like me were dead so I thought I will really try to make a relationship work. That takes two! After those days were spent and after 9 years and a couple of start ups I was certain I would rather take my chances with the wrong guy on a relationship that be alone and dependent on cruising eyes and hook up dates over the net. 

II have change!  I no longer consider a relationship that important but neither being out there like a piece of meat for people to touch and decide wether is good for the night supper. I have other priorities and believe what ever happens, happens. I no longer “actively”look and I would not be with someone just to have a warm body next to me.

However it’s been my understanding younger guys were interested into hook ups mainly but I was nicely surprised to read about this particular survey.

AG

                                                                           _*_

In a previous study we interviewed 86 long-term male couples who were in mutually consensual non-monogamous relationships. The purpose was to describe what ‘successful’ non-monogamy might look like and to identify helpful behaviors, mecha- nisms, and perspectives. Because we required cou- ples to be together 8+ years, couples skewed older, with the average age being 50 years old.
This current Study targets gay men from 18 – 40 years old. We’ve enlarged the scope of the Study to include monogamous, as well as non-monog- amous couples, in order to get more data about preferences of respondents in this age group. Al- though most of the questions and focus are on respondents who are currently coupled, we also polled younger single men on certain questions, particularly those pertaining to preferences for mo- nogamy or non-monogamy.
Study Objectives

• Identify the prevalence and attitudes about mo- nogamy and nonmonogamy in the younger gay male population
  
• Describe existing monogamous and non-monog- amous couples in terms of viability, relationship health, what works and what’s challenging
  
• Identify to what degree gay marriage is desired by younger gay men and the degree to which marriage is associated with monogamy
  
• Provide findings that bring greater awareness and information to younger generations of gay men as they make decisions about their relationships
  

Methodology
The study consisted of two different online surveys and 30 telephone interviews.
Quantitative Survey

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Initially, we conducted an online survey which we advertised on Facebook in September, 2014. (See Quantitative Survey Questions in the Appendix). The Facebook referrals came from diverse parts of the USA, both urban and small town environs and their responses served as our primary quantitative data. We had the following respondents in the FACEBOOK CO- HORT:

• ○  Singles — 242
  
• ○  Monogamous Couples — 290
  
• ○  Non-Monogamous Couples — 48
  Since we had so few non-monogamous couples respond to the Facebook ad, we also, placed an ad in Grindr (a gay male sex hook-up app) in late September, 2014. We had the following respondents in the Grindr COHORT:
  ○ Singles — 328
  ○ Monogamous Couples — 42
  ○ Non-Monogamous Couples — 79
  Because we assumed that the Grindr audi- ence skewed toward non-monogamy and the population was urban (Seattle, San Francisco, Portland) we were selective about how we used the data. We added the data from non-mo- nogamous couples responding to the Grindr survey to data from non-monogamous couples responding to the Facebook survey for purpos- es of better understanding non-monogamous
  

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Choices: The Perspectives of Younger Gay Men on Monogamy, Non-Monogamy and Marriage • Blake Spears and Lanz Lowen © 2016 1

Chapter 1

couples. This gave us 127 non-monogamous couples. We purposely omitted the data from Grindr singles and monogamous couples in most of our analysis.
Qualitative Survey

• ○  632 monogamous couples, of which 161 completed the written comments
  
• ○  152 ‘monogamish’ couples, of which 45 completed the written comments
  
• ○  48 non-monogamous couples, of which 16 completed the written comments
  

• Participants answered the open-ended ques- tions that pertained to their ‘orientation toward monogamy.’
Interviews
• We conducted follow-up interviews with 30 re- spondents that volunteered by self-identification at the end of the second Facebook survey. In- terviews averaged 30 minutes and provided us with additional examples, perspectives and the ability to profile a small number of couples. We interviewed:

• ○  15 participants involved in a monogamous relationship
  
• ○  5 participants involved in a ‘monogamish’ relationship
  
• ○  10 participants involved in a non-monoga- mous relationship
  

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As we were analyzing the Facebook and Grin- dr data, we noticed there were a significant number of couples who described themselves as monogamous, even though they had ‘three- ways’ and/or occasional sex with ‘outsiders.’ We were curious about this, and decided to conduct a second survey in October, 2014. The survey, which primarily consisted of open-end- ed questions (See Qualitative Survey Questions in the Appendix), was conducted online using a FACEBOOK advertisement.
In this survey we only enlisted participants who were in relationships (no singles).
We instructed participants to identify as:
○ Strictly monogamous
○ Monogamous, but held ‘loosely’— ‘monon- gamish’
○ Non-monogamous
We had the following number of respondents:

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Study Population

Single	242	N/A
Monogamous	290	632
Non-monogamous	127*	48
“Monogamish”	N/A	152
Total	576	853

*Includes Grindr cohort 

thecouplesstudy.com