Being Gay Is Positive } Being Positive is Not The End of You

By Alex Garner Editor-at-Large

For the past thirty-one years, HIV has been part of our world. For many gay men, HIV was part of their consciousness long before they formed a gay identity. HIV is an integral part of the lives of all gay men and it’s a fundamental part of the gay experience. Our challenge is to create a culture and a community that is free of stigma while empowering gay men to live healthy lives.

PositiveFrontiers.com worked in collaboration with The Stigma Project to create an anti-stigma campaign for World AIDS Day. The article and images can be found online and in the print magazine.  The photo to the right is titled, “Being Gay Is Something Positive.” Because the word “positive” also implies HIV, this image can be read many different ways. Ultimately it serves to demonstrate that HIV is nothing to be ashamed of, that it’s a part of our every day lives, and that HIV-positive gay men can live out and proud about their HIV, just as they do with their sexuality.

The notion of ascribing pride to someone who is living with HIV can often ruffle some feathers. Maybe there isn’t a perfect word to describe someone who isn’t ashamed of their disease. Could you call them confident, empowered, or triumphant? It’s perfectly reasonable for someone to be proud of the life they have lived and the struggles they have overcome.  So there’s no reason someone shouldn’t take pride in themselves and affirmatively declare their HIV status.

Coming out about HIV is one of the best tools we have to fight stigma. If stigma is reduced more people will get tested, access care, and the quality of life for all gay men will improve.  Our community will be a better place if stigma is significantly reduced.

Ultimately so much of this comes back to our community.  We have a very unique relationship to HIV and for over three decades gay men have been the most severely impacted by HIV. In the U.S. gay men represent themajority of all those infected, the majority of new infections, and the majority of all deaths to AIDS. And HIV disproportionately impacts gay men of color.

These are the facts about HIV and our community. Certainly HIV is not a gay disease, scientifically speaking, but it’s a gay disease in every other sense. It’s our legacy, it’s our present and until there is a cure it will be our future. Don’t mistake what I am saying for some fatalistic vision of our community. I’m simply stating that HIV has been, and continues to be, etched on the soul of our community.

The epidemic began with us and it’s going to end with us. We can dramatically alter the course of this epidemic if we choose to commit ourselves to reducing stigma and empowering HIV-positive people.

We have the opportunity to reprioritize HIV and reinvest in the lives of gay men. Let’s challenge ourselves to have those difficult conversations about our sex, our health and our choices. Our community will be stronger for it and gay men are worth it.  Let’s take a holistic approach so that we can tackle the full range of issues that confront gay men. Let’s do some real work to assure that gay men have a healthy sexuality and are educated about both harm reduction and pleasure.

We must also call on our national LGBT organizations to prioritize HIV, in particular among communities of color. Imagine what we could accomplish if we applied the same energy and activism to HIV as we have to marriage equality.

And finally we need more leadership from the HIV-positive community. HIV-positive people don’t just need to stand up and be counted we also need to make sure that we have a place at the table. We must be part of the decision making process about our heath and our lives.  That also means that HIV-positive people need to speak openly and honestly about what it means to live with HIV. The stories of who we are can be provocative, sexy, funny, touching, and inspiring and they will help the general community understand who we are.

It’s indeed a positive thing to be gay. There is also no shame in being HIV-positive. Our community consists of negatives, positives, and unknowns. It’s our challenge to make sure we can all come together to create a stronger community. A community that is free of stigma. A community where we are empowered to take action and improve the quality of lives of others and ourselves. A community that endured a devastating epidemic and ultimately ended it. 

Epilogue from the Publisher of adamfoxie*blog International : Adam Gonzalez 

The Latest statistics coming from the CDC are that for a discordant straight couple there is virtually ‘no’ chance of transmission. This is as long as the HIV+ partner has an undetectable viral load and is in suppressive anti retroviral treatment unless is someone newly infected with their viral load undetectable.We talking about married couples in this case.

 On the case of a married or in a monogamous relationship, the gay couple being discordant (one has it one does not) the numbers are not as good, but they are still very good. It’s is about 2% the chance of infection or less as long as the positive partner’s viral load in undetectable and he is active in repressive anti retroviral therapy. We are talking on both scenarios without condoms.

On condoms there was a major study that released it’s findings this past week on both men and women, tops and bottoms,  reported no difference nor less pleasurable experience than without it.  So it seems that for those that complaint that condoms inhibit their sexual performance its just an excuse to keep the persons own privacy of how they get arouse and what they need or not to reach the point that they both reach the physical and mental release as strong as it can be.

So I wont have to go into graphic scenarios let me just say that today I saw a handle for a guy that was, “Loadtaker” Gay men are more affected by that particular scenario than anybody else. The need to be intimate sharing their own bodies and semen and sometimes other things and it could be from a shower together, etc. This represent taking that person and having that person take us.

Being a gay man myself and having been told by my partner at the time that either they wanted condoms or they would not want them. My major concern of not doing condoms was getting something my self not giving to the person as much, because I know the statistics and I know my body is healthy. It’s important that the true information is out there but the fear factor should come from the person benefiting from the information not getting words and situations by the presenter of the information with the purpose to “scare the person straight”  I don’t know of any cases in which involves free will in which scared straight works. Many parents have used that fear for years by then having a daughter pregnant at 15 and their son wrapping his new Beamer around a tree on his way home from the all night raid.

There are many sources to get good information today. It’s no excuse not to know it, but the fact is that 50% of young Britons don’t know how you get AIDS and in the USA is 1/3%.  Now that is scary because the people that don’t know are the people that already destiny have put a tag in their butts with the number they are going to be when they turned to HIV+.  You have a computer, you gave AIDS Orgs, you have courses. I one time went around in Staten Island going to SI college to give them hIV101. The same to people going into domestic nursing and so forth. Those programs have stopped Because of lack of money. So You have to be pro active and learn. It’s no big deal to learn. Maybe you could pass along the right info to your friends that Im sure are getting  the stupid trash at school, work, elevator or any other place where people meet and try to solve the problems of the world in 5 minutes. Thank You! Im always open to answer a question in regards to any posting that appears at this blogging site. Om Page 1} Home page where it describes what this blog is al about it will give you our email address. Sent it to Adam’s attention. or leave a short message just say you want to discuss a posting and send your email and we will answer you and you could answer away in private and in confidential for that your information will not divulge to anyone.