R Gay to Get Santorum?:FrothyMix/lube/fecalMatter/byprod.anal sex

He’s compared homosexuality to bestiality and gone on the record many times (both in person and print) to tell America just how few rights gay people deserve. He also signed a controversial pledge that promised to do everything in his political power to make it illegal for same-sex couples to marry or enjoy any of the same rights as straight friends. And now, former PA senator and GOP presidential hopeful Rick Santorum is claiming that the LGBT community has waged a “jihad” against him. A religious war.

Huh?

For someone who seems to have no trouble at all ghettoizing an entire population of Americans based on who they share a bedroom with, he sure gets testy when the people he vilifies criticize him for putting foot in mouth over and over again.

In a recent event in South Carolina, Santorum suggested that the gay community has waged a “jihad” (which is akin to a religious war complete with a death threat) against him because he opposes gay marriage. Cry us a river. Not only is the suggestion absurd, but it’s a sad attempt to try and wrangle sympathy from Republicans who aren’t showing him much love in the polls. He’s trailing other conservative contenders like Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry – and he’s blaming people like Dan Savage for making a mockery of him all over the Internet.

But isn’t it really Santorum who has dug this hole for himself? Surely he would agree that if someone stands up for what he or she believes in public, that person may naturally be subject to criticism. He has no trouble criticizing the gay community for what the gay community believes should be absolute rights. And yet he has quite a beef when the same happens to him, and when the very people he equates to sinners, dog rapists and sexual predators decide it’s time to stand up and defend themselves from such horrible accusations.

And yet, despite this alleged and most ridiculous religious war he claims has him in the gay community’s crosshairs (quite literally), it hasn’t stopped him from defending his position that gay marriage will destroy the country and attempt to destroy those who “preach the biblical truth.”

Just once we would like to hear what Santorum believes without quoting the Bible. It might explain why so many conservatives and moderates alike have a tough time swallowing his campaign message. He’s been on a wild crusade against gay rights at a time when many people (LGBT folks, included!) are very concerned about the economy, safety, the war and job growth. And yet, here’s what he had to say recently:

“I said, ‘this is a napkin,’” Santorum said. ‘”This is a napkin. A napkin is what a napkin is. It isn’t a paper towel. It isn’t a car.’ You can call a napkin a car. You can call a paper towel a chair, but it doesn’t make it a chair. Marriage is what marriage is.”

So, let’s get this straight, so to speak: marriage is marriage and a paper towel isn’t a chair and a napkin isn’t a car. Phew. Glad he cleared that up for us – because for awhile we were confused about whether we should take our napkin for a spin or wipe up with our car.

These are confusing times. And this guy’s running for president, folks.

Posted by Natalie Hope McDonald http://blogs.phillymag.com/