New Study Shows Sex is Not Seen As Sex for All People








Sexual activities like oral sex or fingering may or may not actually count as sex, depending on who you ask.

Prior research has examined how heterosexual individuals define sex; however, these studies have rarely focused on sexual minority individuals or included a full range of applicable sexual behaviors. Participants were recruited from a local Pride Festival across two years. 

Study 1 (N = 329) was primarily descriptive and examined which physically intimate behaviors lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) participants included in their definitions of sex and the behaviors in which they had previously engaged. 

Study 2 (N = 393) utilized a between-subjects design to assess differences in definitions of sex when judging one’s own behavior compared with that of a partner outside of the relationship. The behaviors in which participants were most likely to have engaged were manual-genital (82%) and oral-genital stimulation (79%). Regarding definitions of sex, a clear “gold standard” emerged for men, with 90% endorsing penile-anal intercourse as sex. 

Recap:

Earlier research shows that a majority of straight people count only penetrative sex(vaginal or anal) as sex, but do not count oral sex or genital touching. But straight people are only a portion of the population, and certainly don't get to define sex for all of us. So a new study published in The Journal of Sex Research set out to learn what gay, lesbian, and bisexual people count as Sex

No equally clear standard existed for women. Participants who were asked to consider their partner’s behavior outside of their relationship were more likely to endorse the behavior as “having sex” than participants asked to consider their own behavior. This study addressed a major limitation of prior research by investigating definitions of sex among a community sample of LGB adults, with implications for the provision of healthcare and sexual agreements between same-sex couples.

Surprisingly, about 30% of women who have sex with other women also don't count oral sex as actual sex, though the 70% who do is a much larger percentage than among straight people (less than 25%). Use of sex toys like double-ended dildos also counted as sex for 70% of queer women, while acts such as fingering, scissoring, and mutual masturbation counted for at least 50%, Women's Health reports.

Among queer men, penetration once again became the "gold standard," according to the study — 90% said that penetrative anal sex definitely counted as sex. A majority (more than 50%) also counted oral sex and rimming (oral-anal stimulation) as sex.

Comments

Interesting statistics. As a gay man who is exclusively intimate with other males, I have never aimed to mirror the heterosexual norms and reserve the 'gold standard' of sex to a penetrative act. I've met far too many happy, well-adjusted, sexually fulfilled gay men who have never engaged in penetration of any kind, either as active or passive participants.