Evangelical Rock Star Comes Out “ It’s been a bitter difficult journey”
Christian musician Vicky Beeching has written songs that have reached Gold status and hit the top 100 iTunes chart. But now the 35-year-old British musician is singing a different song about her sexuality. Beeching told “The Independent” that she is gay in an interview published on Wednesday.
Beeching’s star has risen in recent years as a regular commentator on the BBC and Sky News. She is an Oxford-trained theologian, PhD candidate, and has been influential in the Anglican Church’s debates on gender. She told me she plans to be involved in the two-year conversational process on sexuality happening within the Church of England, and she personally told Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby she was gay before the Independent interview. (She’s scheduled to have dinner at Lambeth Palace next week for dinner with the Welbys.) Beeching also says she plans to write a book–perhaps two–about her personal journey and what she believes the Bible teaches about sexuality.
Here we talk about her decision, why she plans to stay in the church, and what she wants to tell the many people who sing her songs.
RNS: After coming out as gay, “The Independent” said you may “become a key figure in the liberalisation of Anglicanism.” Is this how you see yourself?
VB: All I want to do is play whatever small part I can to help people rethink their beliefs around sexuality; to stir people to reexamine doctrines that need a second look. I don’t see myself as a “liberal” as I value the Bible highly and hold to many of the same views that evangelical Christians do. I just think we’ve misinterpreted the Scriptures that talk about sexuality – as many people did with the Bible passages about women in leadership.
For me, believing God can be in favour of same-sex marriage isn’t to dilute the Bible or become theologically liberal. It’s actually rooted in my very high view of the Biblical texts, as there is much in the Bible about relationships based on love, faithfulness, commitment and authenticity. Jesus taught, “You’ll know a tree by the fruit it produces” and “good trees can’t produce bad fruit, and bad trees can’t produce good fruit.” So if a relationship is displaying the traits of God’s selfless, pure, faithful love, the relationship is proven to be innately godly and not sinful.
RNS: You attempted to fight these feelings in early life and even cure yourself through seeing a Catholic priest and participating in an exorcism. How did this affect you?
VB: It was extremely difficult and damaging. It’s really hard to get rid of the tapes that play in your head, when you’ve heard them for decades. Even today, I’m still trying to erase those old tapes in my mind and replace their messages with truth. Old habits die hard. It’s taken all the strength and mental energy I’ve got to overcome the ways I was conditioned and programmed to feel huge guilt about my orientation. I suppose it’s like Pavlov’s Dogs; you just get used to certain responses. I’m finally free from guilt and shame, but it’s been a very long road to get here.
RNS: You say you still love the church, but many within the church believe that gay behavior is sinful. How can you love a group of people who don’t accept you in that way?
VB: We often confuse needing to agree as the basis of being able to love one another. People will rarely agree on everything in any context, yet we all manage to have meaningful relationships with friends and family despite that. Sometimes in the church, we forget that disagreement can actually be healthy. Disagreeing about things helps us reexamine our beliefs and step into other’s shoes. Uniformity can really lack creativity; it can be sterile.
The church needs to become more comfortable with people not being on the same page about everything. We need the maturity to be able to still extend love to one another despite that. God loves us unconditionally, so we should aim to model that to those who see things from a different angle, even if that’s really hard to do. I’m trying my best to keep extending that love today to all the conservative Christians who are telling me I am “siding with the devil” because they are still my brothers and sisters in Christ.
RNS: What do you want to say to those in the American church who’ve sung your songs but now feel conflicted or at odds with you? What’s your message to them?
VB: I’d ask them to believe I’m still the same person I’ve always been. To believe that I mean the words of the songs I’ve written as much as ever. My sexuality doesn’t define me, and my sexuality shouldn't dictate whether my songwriting is useful for the church or not. I’d encourage them to rethink their views on LGBT Christians and explore whether they may need to grow in flexibility. I’d also say that there are probably people in their congregations who are wrestling with the secret of knowing they are gay, and can’t speak up. I hope my story encouarges conservative churches to break the silence and allow the conversation around sexuality and faith to happen in places where it previously has been taboo. I’m not angry at the church, or bitter, but it has been a long an difficult journey. I hope that my story touches their hearts somehow and that they know I extend peace and friendship to them and hope they can somehow do the same to me.
RNS: Your parents hold a conservative view of homosexuality, but you have remained close. How might this teach others about maintaining a relationship despite disagreement?
VB: My parents are great. It came as a real shock to both of them when I told them about my sexuality. We had the conversation at Easter this year, and I was very moved by their response. Even though they still hold a traditional view, they have shown me that their unconditional love for me as their daughter makes it totally possible for us to still be close. They’ve gone out of their way to make me feel deeply loved and accepted. I think that demonstrates that it is possible to disagree on some things, yet not have to lose the entire relationship. That’s unconditional love in action.
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