Showing posts with label Coming Out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coming Out. Show all posts

November 2, 2016

Be Proud of The Out 100





 
I hope you feel both inspired and proud by the Out 100 list of this year.  Out.com publishes the list every year and you can click or paste on your browser the following link and take a look at this year’s  list. 

http://www.out.com/out100-2016/2016/10/31/out100-2016


There are more than 100 well known LGBT people in our world community and they belong to all different social spheres.  Some bring us shame but most of them make us proud. Just like in any other community we have the scientists and the space cadets covering magazines and newspapers as well as blogs as this one all over the world.  

Sometimes I wonder how can we have homophobes and bigots in our out community since we know discrimination first hand but we are only human and a product of our environment. We are however special in the courage that it takes to come out and stay out. Some have come out to later on say they didn’t mean it and that’s why the coming out is a process not just one event, a race to the finish yet  not a sprint. We have to come out many times in our lives from our families to our friends.

We take every day as it comes but most of us once decided we need to be ourselves and we are tired of lying and living someone else's lives we obtain a peace of mind and growth of spirituality, the kind that has nothing to do with religion but from the peace and relief we acquire when we know who we are.  We might not know why we are here and sometimes where are we going but is so important to know who we are so we can take advantages of our attributes and control our shortcomings.

October 17, 2016

Brothers in Law Dumped Wives for Each Other




                                                                             
Same sex unions have a history as old as men



AHMEDABAD: "Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments," says William Shakespeare in Sonnet 116 declaring that nothing should come in between two souls in love with each other. One such marriage, however, has proved devastating for two other marriages.
In a particular case, two men have dumped their wives, both sisters, to unite and start a separate family.

The two got involved in a homosexual (gay) relationship after being introduced to each other as brothers-in-law. The two recently moved in together in a separate house.

Both the sisters on Saturday approached a local court accusing their husbands of duping them and sought justice. The sisters have demanded an interim relief in form of maintenance and shelter.
Ironically, the elder sister has also been divorced through triple talaq delivered to her in a legal notice sent by her husband.
Top Comment

'A muslim gives triple talaq (which IMPB defends) according to sharia, and start gay relation which acc to sharia is death....This is how the islam, sharia are used misused by muslims which Govt want to end!
Aug.15 1947’

The elder sister got married with a local trader in 2010 and the couple was blessed with a child soon after. Trouble in paradise began after the younger sister got married in 2013. The elder sister's husband, whose homosexual leanings had got exposed by then, developed gay relationship with the husband of the younger sister. One and half years ago, both men dumped their wives and have started living together. 

Devastated, the sisters first approached police, but since there was no violation of law except evasion of duty to maintain family on part of men, police expressed their helplessness.

Left with no hope, the sisters have now knocked on doors of a magisterial court and filed a case under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005. They have alleged harassment and neglect on part of their husbands due to their homosexual relationship. They have urged the court to direct their husbands to pay them maintenance amount as part of interim arrangement. The court has fixed hearing on their complaints on November 19.

August 1, 2016

US Petty Officer Outed by Colleagues


Outsports story:
                                                                         
Petty Officer Third Class Conner Curnick, 22

In April 2015, I was heading back to my quarters at the naval base in Pensacola, Fla. I was on a high, riding my motorcycle back to base after spending the night with a guy I seeing.

I suddenly felt a lot of vibrations and it wasn't a bumpy road. It was the phone in my pocket, buzzing with Instagram messages.

"Explain this," one said. "Curnick, are you gay? Don't lie to us," said another.

My heart pounding, I pulled over to the side of the road. One of my friends had been going through my Instagram photos and found one of me with another guy on the back of my motorcycle. Their messages wanted to know the truth. I realized my biggest fear had come to fruition.

I was alone at the time and in tears, and I decided to come clean — yes, I'm gay, I told them. The reactions started coming in and, to my relief and surprise, they were overwhelmingly positive. While I did lose a few friends, the ones closest to me became even closer, because I no longer had to lie about who I was and for the first time they knew what was really going on in my life. Pensacola will always hold a place in my heart for changing me in the way it did.

After I came over that final hurdle, I began to live openly, and my life as a gay man flourished. That's not to say everyone in the military is supportive. This past spring, in combat training before my deployment to Afghanistan, someone found out I was gay, walked up to me and said, "I'm glad I'm not deploying with you, I wouldn't trust a fag with my life." This despite the fact I was one of the better marksmen and performers in my class. I use comments like that to fuel my fire to succeed in everything that I do.

If you're wondering why a Sailor is writing a story for Outsports it's because I have been a water polo player in high school and college and still play competitively. I am now in the U.S. Navy, serving in Afghanistan. I have lived in two countries, four states and on both coasts of the U.S.
 
I grew up in a medium-size conservative town in Southern California. I started playing water polo in 7th grade, eventually playing at Great Oak High School in Temecula. My life got interesting after high school. When I was 18 I moved halfway around the world to Madrid, Spain, to attend college and play water polo at an elite level. After a year in Spain I returned to Southern California where I played water polo for another year at Palomar College.
I didn't come out until I was almost 21. I grew up thinking that being gay was wrong — that being gay meant you fit a stereotype. It meant that you were a pathetic, weak, purse-toting excuse for man. I now know that's not the case.

The day I first came out to anyone in February 2014 was the most emotional experience of my life. My hands were shaking and voice was cracking. I lived in Florida at the time, and my two best friends — both girls — were at college in different parts of the country and my family was in California. I was scared. I sent my two friends a group text. They responded with nothing but love and affection. One of them even Face-timed me, and saw me in tears, right next to the guy I was dating at the time.

Next up was my mom. She was at work, so I sent her a text: "Mom, I have something to tell you ... I'm gay." She immediately called, telling me how much she loved me. She had asked me many times growing up if I was gay, but being afraid of who I was, I never could admit it.
 
My struggle came with growing up in the closet and learning to love myself. I built a wall and never let anyone through. It was really tough at first, leading me to very dark places mentally. Reading coming out stories like the one I am writing — and how people were greeted with love and open arms — was what kept me going.
The hardest people to come out to were my fellow military members. I originally enlisted into the most hyper-masculine program possible, the Naval Special Warfare Program. I enlisted in 2014 to serve a purpose greater than myself. There, instructors and fellow trainees constantly threw homophobic slurs around. I distinctly remember one day when an instructor said, "Oh look at those faggots," and then turned to us saying, "Wait, it's OK to be gay, YOU just can't be gay."

This prolonged my life in the closet and I could not be seen as gay to the rest of my class. I ended up getting injured and washing out of training, at which point I was given a new job in the military and moved to Florida. The state is where my life changed forever. It's where I came out, and I learned to live an open life and grow as a gay man.

Many of my fellow sailors washed out of the training alongside me and ended up in Pensacola, where the outing took place that fateful day. I feared I would be rejected by people I once was friends with, terrified that the leadership above me would look at me as less of a man, or that any accomplishment I have will be attributed to me being gay, and not my merit. I was completely and utterly wrong. In fact, some of the most vocally homophobic people ended up being my biggest supporters.
 Connor Spartan
Conner Curnick has competed in several Reebok Spartan Races — 13 miles of running through hills and obstacles such as climbing over walls, crawling under barbed wire and through mud.

Since coming out, I have become a much happier, productive and successful person. I have since been to the Middle East twice and been awarded accolades for my achievements. I have received letters of accommodation from leaders at Combatant Commands and won Sailor of the Quarter at my command of 2,300 Sailors.
Since coming out, I have fought to defeat the very thing that caused me to not come out any sooner: stereotypes. I want to be the gay man that I wish I met when I was younger. I want to prove that the gay community is just as strong and capable as the straight world. If I can make one person's life better, all my efforts and struggles will have been worth it.

I still face discrimination, and I understand that it is an unfortunate reality of living openly and fighting for equality. I am currently working with fellow LGBT sailors to start an organization at my base for LGBT service members to promote understanding and ensure equality in the workplace. I hope that in the future, people won't have to "come out," but they can simply say this is my boy/girlfriend and be accepted by everyone.

Conner Curnick, 22, is a Petty Officer Third Class in the U.S. Navy on assignment in Afghanistan. When not on assignment he plays competitive water polo in Washington DC. He can be reached via e-mail (ccurnick@gmail.com),  on Instagram (cdcurnick) or on Facebook.

By Jim Buzinski Published on  Outsports

March 3, 2016

Young Cowboy Comes Out Fearing his Dad Who Received Him with a Hug


 Picture from  Outsports

Growing up gay in a rural ranch community made me who I am today.
I am emotionally strong, shamelessly confident and relatively successful. That doesn't mean I didn't struggle along the way. Actually, ‘struggle' is an understatement. ‘Struggle' implies the typical high school experience — balancing acne, popularity, sports, grades and parental control.

The ‘struggle' I speak of was an internal battle so fierce and destructible I was frequently left with severe nausea. I hated myself on a fundamental level. Before I could face my peers every day, I had to face myself. Perhaps the worst part was not being able to talk to anyone about it, not even my best friend. Even if I trusted someone enough to carry the secret capable of ending life as I knew it, I couldn't say it out loud. Saying it out loud would make it true. "I'm gay." I wanted nothing more than for those unspeakable words to be false.

I was the only son born to a fifth-generation ranching family in rural South Dakota. The nearest town had a population of 400 people and was a 25-mile drive on mostly gravel roads. Life was simple. I loved the ranch and my family — I still do. As a toddler, I wanted to be exactly like my father when I grew up: go to college, marry a wife as perfect as my mother and have a family of my own.
Of course we would rodeo, because that was what my family did.
That hope was dissipated when the first signs of being gay started to surface in the back of my mind before I ever even hit puberty. Of course I had no idea what it meant at the time. In high school I had my first crush, which I cast off to be nothing more than looking up to one of the star athletes. The feelings were not welcomed. I distanced myself from almost everyone, which proved difficult while competing in football, basketball and rodeo.
Convincing myself I was an independent person, I focused solely on what I could control: grades and respect from others. Respect was vital for me because I had little respect for myself. After all, I was raised to think being gay was detestable and an abomination.

Perhaps the worst struggle came from hearing my family and friends mock gay people. I would laugh at their jokes and pretend to agree with them when they made derogatory statements. On the inside I swallowed my heart along with the terrifying thoughts that I might be gay.
Each joke, each disapproving comment, each use of the term "fag" chipped away at my inner core. I became a master at bottling my true feelings. I always smiled to mask the emptiness and self-loathing. Over time I grew to hate myself on a fundamental level. The pain was endless. Even worse, I couldn't express the pain, because crying over it would make it real. The way I saw it, I only had two options: kill myself or force myself to be straight.
Despite my inner struggles, I have always been an optimistic person. Suicide was not an option for me. My mom is the kindest person on this planet — I could never leave her and the rest of my family and friends by taking my own life.

So I convinced myself I was straight. Dating girls was not difficult; I really had nothing to lose. Coincidentally, I was a terrible boyfriend because I just did not care if the relationship succeeded. Although I loved my college girlfriend, it was an empty love. The physical attraction was not there. She deserved better — she deserved a guy who passionately loved her, and I would like to think she found that. I had no other serious girlfriends after her.
At about the same point in my life, my doctors discovered a life-threatening tumor. The tumor was the size of a deflated basketball intertwined with my abdominal organs. At the risk of being melodramatic, I was unsure if I would survive. As much as I was unafraid of death, seeing what my family and friends went through was terrifying. The copious amount of love and support was shocking and life-changing. The entire experience made me see life from a different angle.
After surviving my tumor scare, I started to reconsider the lie I had been living. At 21 years old, I was able to finally admit to myself for the first time — "I am gay."

The internal surrender relieved the worst of my pain. Yet coping with this new burden was no easy task, especially while attending a small university in Western South Dakota where the only openly gay people were turned into outcasts. It was easier for me to continue life as it was and suppress my inner thoughts. The captain of the rodeo team can't be gay — cue the Brokeback Mountain jokes.
I redoubled my scholastic and extracurricular efforts. For me the only way to cope was to excel enough in the classroom and intercollegiate rodeo to secure postgraduate opportunities.
My final year of law school at the University of South Dakota was a challenge. After an internship in Louisville helped me explore my true self away from my home state, I could no longer hide it from my closest friends. The first friend I came out to did not handle it well. She used Christianity to defend her position against "the lifestyle." Although she was still nice and continued to be my friend, her reaction had triggered inner turmoil I hadn't felt for years.
As I came out to other friends they all seemed to handle it surprisingly well. Even my roommates seemed to be OK with it.

I had decided I would tell my family after I took the bar exam because I would be spending two months with them and it would allow time to mend any potential broken bonds. The anxiety of coming out to my parents was severe enough to prevent me from eating. I had to tell them, I couldn't keep lying to them as to why I was still single. When I arrived home I didn't unpack my bags from my car; I needed to be flight-ready if coming out ended poorly.
I had a plan to tell my family members independently. Par for the course, I had to call an audible when my mom and my little sister cornered me about a significant other. With tears in my eyes, I poured out my secret to my mom and my little sister. My little sister was immediately on my side. My mom and I have always been close, but I could tell she was struggling to absorb the news. What scared her more than anything was the thought of telling my dad.
My mom begged me to keep it from my dad for a little longer, but I couldn't live with the anxiety any longer. My dad is a weather-hardened rancher with conservative viewpoints. I anticipated the worst.
What I failed to take into consideration about predicting my dads reaction is how well-read he is and how much compassion he has.

With glassy eyes, my dad sat me down at the table.
"PJ, you know I will always love you no matter what," my dad said. "This doesn't change who you are nor does it make you any less of a person. I am proud to call you my son.
"My only regret is that you won't be able to have the traditional family I was lucky enough to have. With that said, I want you to know that I will fully support any decision you make to adopt, foster, or hire a surrogate for you to have your own children. I want you to experience that someday because it has been the most rewarding experience of my life.
"Now, why don't you change out of your dirty work clothes so we can go to the Deadwood casinos."
Its odd how the day I dreaded the most turned out to be the best day of my life.

By  
Posted in Outsports


February 20, 2016

New Law in Russia if Approved Coming Out Gay will cost 15 Days in Jail



                                                                           



Moscow: Russia's parliament on Friday debated a controversial homophobic bill to fine and jail people for up to 15 days for coming out in public as gay.
Lawmakers expressed support while rejecting the bill in its current wording as not legally valid.
The bill proposed by two Communist MPs calls for a fine of up to 5,000 rubles ($65) for "public expression of non-traditional sexual relationships."
It calls for a harsher punishment of up 15 days in police cells for being openly gay in educational institutions or in those related to the arts and youth.
Gay and LGBT rights activist Nikolai Alexeyev holds a flare as he rides a quad-bike during an unauthorized gay rights activists rally in central Moscow in a file photo. AFP
Gay and LGBT rights activist Nikolai Alexeyev holds a flare as he rides a quad-bike during an unauthorized gay rights activists rally in central Moscow in a file photo. AFP
The authors of the bill said in an accompanying note it was necessary because a law banning "propaganda" of gay relationships to minors signed by President Vladimir Putin in 2013, and internationally condemned, was "not effective enough."
One of them, Communist MP Ivan Nikitchuk told parliament he had “received hundreds of messages of support for the bill," waving a folder of letters and telegrams.

He condemned the "aggressive propaganda of Western culture and non-traditional values," and called homosexuality "a huge threat for society, a deadly threat."
The bill doesn't define what non-traditional sexual relationships are, but Nikitchuk told MPs they are "between adult men" while "traditional" relationships are between a man and a woman.
Nikitchuk, the 71-year-old deputy head of the parliament's natural resources committee, said last year the bill would only apply to gay men.
Lawmaker Viktor Shudegov of A Just Russia party spoke in support of the bill, adding he wanted a ban on gay people working in professions such as teaching.
"Let the West rot," he said in angry rhetoric.
"They will destroy themselves from within and we will survive, we must survive, so I back this bill."
The MPs debated the bill despite it's being already rejected by the committee on constitutional law because it is not possible to introduce punishments for actions not legally defined as an offence.
As homosexuality is not illegal in Russia this made it technically impossible to pass the bill and it was rejected unanimously.
But that may not be the end of it.
A representative of the constitutional law committee, Rustam Ishmukhametov of ruling United Russia party voiced support for the bill and the possibiity of a new version.
"As a lawmaker I also share this concern. I agree that possibly it would be worth further discussion of this bill, maybe to submit it in a reworked version," he said in parliament, quoted by TASS state news agency.
AFP

January 12, 2016

Hunger Games Actress Amanda Stenberg Comes Out



                                                                             



Hunger Games actress Amandla Stenberg has come out as bisexual, speaking of the importance of representation and the need for women in minority communities to have their voices heard.
  
Amandla_Stenberg.jpg
Photo: Gregory Harris
The 17-year-old actress took part in a Teen Vogue SnapChat takeover and came out in her video which has now gone viral.

“I cannot stress enough how important representation is, so the concept that I can provide for other black girls is mind-blowing,” she said.

“It’s a really really hard thing to be silenced, and it’s deeply bruising to fight against your identity and just mold yourself into shapes that you just shouldn’t be in. As someone who identifies as a black bisexual woman, I’ve been through it, and it hurts and it’s awkward and it’s uncomfortable. But then I realized, because of Solange [Knowles, who interviewed Stenberg for the magazine's February cover] and Ava Duvernay and Willow [Smith] and all the black girls watching this right now, there’s absolutely nothing but change.”

“We cannot be suppressed. We are meant to express our joy and our love and our tears, to be big and bold and definitely not easy to swallow. I definitely believe in the concept of rebellion through selfhood, and rebellion through embracing your true identity, no matter what you’re being told. Here I am, being myself, and it’s hard and vulnerable, and it’s definitely a process, but I’m learning and growing. Thank you for supporting me and doing this, and thank you to Teen Vogue. This is just the beginning, though; we have a lot of work to do for all women of colour. We need more representation in film and television. We need our voices to be louder in the media. And not just women of colour—bisexual women, gay women, transgender women, mentally ill women. I’m sick of all the misogyny and homophobia and transphobia that I see around me, and I know you are too. Thank you for listening and goodnight.”

GayNZ.com 

January 4, 2016

A Coming Out Story Which Almost Did Not Happen “My Manhood Still Intact”

                                                                     


 A Coming Out That Almost Did Not Happen but this story
will forever be remember as the coming out story of the year for a  18 year old  young Valedictorian.  








September 9, 2015

Bobby Petrino jr. [Son of Football Legend] Comes out and Comfortable in his skin-are you?



                                                                        

"As we were both walking off the field following the practice, I told him it was going to be released tomorrow and I had a copy in my car for him," Petrino Jr. told me. "To my surprise, he said ‘Oh, don't worry about it. I already have a copy and read the article. I am so proud of you and love you so much!’ and gave me a huge hug." 

The reaction was something Petrino, 25, could never have dreamed of when he was younger and feeling scared, isolated, lonely and depressed after realizing he was gay. The person he feared most telling was his father, the big-time football coach. His dad's embrace last week showed Petrino how far he and his family had come.

I first heard from Petrino in April when he sent this message to Outsports:

"Thank you for all you do! Wish you were around when I was a youngster. Makes me happy young athletes these days won't feel alone. Keep up the good work! Thanks again!"

I verified that he was the son of Bobby Petrino the football coach and began a correspondence with him about Outsports writing a story on his being gay. The problem was that he was adamant at the time that it not be a coming out story, which made it hard for us to agree on an angle. He explained that he came out to his family in 2012, right around the time his dad was fired as head coach at the University of Arkansas after he was involved in a motorcycle crash along with a female passenger who was not his wife. Petrino Jr. did not want to relieve that dark and painful time for him and his family.

"When we first talked about doing a coming out story, I initially was worried about bringing all those memories up again," he told me.

But he had a change of heart when he took a summer job this year with the Seattle Storm of the WNBA and had time to be by himself and reflect.

"For three months I spent working for the Seattle Storm on their E-Team -- entertainment -- which worked the games and events. I had a lot of free time and fell in love with hiking and camping. I mostly did these with just me and my dog [Lana]. I found out a lot about myself and grew tremendously over this summer in Seattle.

"After my return, I was approached by Tracy Blue, the editor of Modern Louisville Magazine, to be on the cover and tell my story. I was ready for it now and I felt like it was something I needed to do. The first time I saw the magazine, I got pretty emotional. As a child, I never thought that at 25 years old this would be possible."

Modern Louisville is a new LGBT magazine that published its first issue last week with Petrino on the cover. The person once terrified of coming out was so proud that he made the magazine cover his new Facebook profile photo.
The article by Remy Sisk (which starts on Page 24) details Petrino's upbringing as a closeted gay kid struggling to be comfortable with himself and fighting periods of loneliness and depression. The first person he finally came out to was his sister and then his mom, Becky, but had his mother tell his father. As it says in the magazine story:
As Petrino is generally closer with the ladies of the family than with the men, he allowed his mother to tell his father and brother. Consequently, he and his father never really had the conversation. Petrino does recall when his father acknowledged that he knew. "He gave me a really big hug and told me he loved me no matter what. He's never treated me different. If anything our relationship is better ... He's engaged [my boyfriends] and always been really nice."

Although his final emergence was fairly painless, his family underwent a significant change of ideology once Petrino Jr. came out. "For them, things changed a lot," he describes of the time. "They went from thinking being gay was a lifestyle choice to realizing it's not a choice. And it brought us closer together."
Petrino grew up in a football family and moved several times as his father took new jobs. He was a total jock, in part as a way to hide the realization he was gay. He was shocked when a friend told him he thought he was gay in the summer between fifth and sixth grade. That was a lot for someone so young to absorb and he went through his formative years tightly holding on to his secret and throwing himself into sports. He was a natural at football.

"I played football, basketball, and baseball at Trinity High School in Louisville until halfway through my sophomore year," he told me. "I started as a sophomore, was named first team all-county, and we won the state championship that year. Then we moved to Atlanta where I just stuck to football and played one season at Greater Atlanta Christian School. A year later we move to Fayetteville, Arkansas. I only played football and was named newcomer of the year in Arkansas and first team All-State safety. 

"I then signed to play at the Air Force Academy where I went through basic training and decided it wasn't for me. I think I chose Air Force because I thought it would be a great place where I could continue to hide my sexuality. At that point the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy was still in effect. I went back to Arkansas and played for my dad until I tore my LCL (lateral collateral ligament) and decided to be done with sports."

What's interesting about Petrino's coming out story is how much it follows a typical pattern – he was scared and lonely and thought he was the only one. Once he came out as gay, the response was all positive, even from the one man who he feared would take it the wrong way.

"I wouldn't really say my dad helped me be comfortable with my sexuality growing up," he told me. "He was who I feared the most regarding it. I had a gay uncle on my mother's side and he wasn't really talked about too much. But once I came out to my dad -- and I was dating a guy at the time -- he was great about it. My boyfriends have always come over for family dinner, been on family vacations. And he was really nice to them and was interested in who they were. ... Everyone has accepted me and loved me for who I am. It is a non-issue in our family."

Petrino felt so comfortable that this year he marched in a pride parade. He attended the Louisville-Auburn season opener Saturday in Atlanta with three gay friends and went down to the sidelines for the second half. He has no role with the team "other than be the biggest fan."  Single now, he is graduating in December with an accounting degree from Louisville and told the magazine that he wants to be an elementary school teacher because he loves working with children.

As for life after coming out, Petrino wishes it could have happened sooner had he known the love and acceptance he would get.

"The reaction has been very positive," he told me. "I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that it was going to be like this. I received numerous Facebook messages from other guys that would tell me their story and how much they could relate to mine. It is nice to know that my story touched other people's lives and can make an impact in the Louisville community."

Bobby Petrino Jr. can be reached via email at R.petrino90@gmail.com.

This story appeared at outsports.com by Jim Buzinski

April 17, 2015

North Dakota Family Comes Out of Closet on Gay Marriage



In her memoir, Prairie Silence, Melanie Hoffert shares her struggle with coming out as a lesbian in rural North Dakota.
In her memoir, Prairie Silence, Melanie Hoffert shares her struggle with coming out as a lesbian in rural North Dakota.
Courtesy of Beacon Press
Melanie Hoffert grew up on a farm near the town of Wahpeton, N.D. She called her new memoir Prairie Silence because around here, people prefer not to talk about hard things in the open.
Conversations about homosexuality and coming out could easily take place almost anywhere — but not here in rural North Dakota. It can be even harder for a family dealing with conflicting emotions about a loved one who's gay.
Morning Edition met Melanie on a day when the wind was blowing through the trees lining her family farm — it makes a sound like waves, as she writes in her book. She leads the way to her favorite hiding place: a tiny abandoned church on the farm.
Inside the musty, dark and cold building, a raccoon scurries away near a wooden overhang. There are words carved in the wood: "That is slain is holy." Those words have always stuck with Melanie.
"There's a Bible verse that — of course, I'm not going to quote word-for-word, but something about — he who is slain is worthy, like the lamb, Jesus Christ," she says. "I think it's derived from scripture."
Melanie was raised in a deeply religious family. Today, that's what gives her compassion to understand others who want to change her because she's gay, she says. Even though she strives to be empathetic and not judge those who disagree, she still feels angry sometimes.

Daily Diaries On Tumblr

"Especially when I'm back at the farm," she says, fighting back tears. "I think about little Melanie. I had to grow up knowing inherently that I was a good person, but having to question that based on what I was hearing from the world around me."
She says it's only at this point in her life that she's started to feel very defensive of the kid she used to be. Still, Melanie recognizes that there are people close to her who are struggling with her sexuality, and she tries her best not to judge them.
One of Melanie's brothers runs the farm now, since her parents moved into a house in Wahpeton, closer to town. That's where Melanie is sitting down to a pizza dinner at her parents' long dining room table, with her mom, her two brothers and their wives.
In rural North Dakota, where Melanie Hoffert grew up on her family farm, discussing subjects like homosexuality and same-sex marriage is often considered taboo.
In rural North Dakota, where Melanie Hoffert grew up on her family farm, discussing subjects like homosexuality and same-sex marriage is often considered taboo.
Courtesy of Beacon Press
Melanie's mother, Kathy, first chimes in about her daughter's childhood, and recalls the day Melanie, then 19, came out to her at a restaurant.
"It took her a long time. I almost had to start guessing what in the heck was the matter," Kathy says. "And she mentioned that she was gay, or lesbian, whichever word [she] used. And I responded, 'Melanie, you are not.' The reason being, I don't like the word lesbian [or] gay. I don't know why they have to put a name on something. It seems like a label that I just didn't like."
Kathy says she thinks that led to a misunderstanding, in which Melanie thought her mom didn't believe she was gay.
Kathy says that wasn't the case. "I did know, and I'm glad it was finally out," she says. "So after that, I think everything went a little better between us."
Melanie came out to the rest of her family a bit later. Thinking back, her brother David now feels some guilt.

 

"I probably made it pretty hard for her to tell me, I think, because I had maybe made negative comments about gays," he says. "I wouldn't say I was anti-gay or anything like that, but I would joke along with everyone else if someone threw out a gay joke, I guess."
David's wife, April, found out about Melanie's sexual orientation when he told her after a night of partying.
"I kind of knew too, because we're from small towns that are right next to each other, so word travels fast," April says. And while she adds that she doesn't remember what her exact reaction was, Melanie does, because David had told her.
"She said, 'It doesn't matter, we love Melanie,' " Melanie recalls. " 'She's your sister and it doesn't matter.' "
Eventually the conversation at the dinner table turns to same-sex marriage. Melanie's mother and brothers each take turns expressing that they don't see any problem with same-sex marriage and hope that, one day, others won't either.
But others at the table are conflicted. April, who was vocal moments before about her support for Melanie, moves toward the kitchen to tend to the children.
Melanie's other sister-in-law, Julia, says she's struggled with the idea of gay marriage. "That's actually a really hard question for me," she says.
Julia is a devout Catholic and says, were if it not for knowing and loving Melanie, she would see marriage as something that's just between a man and a woman.
"I do stand by my faith and I do believe what my church says to be true," she says. "But I also see where that would hurt somebody and I know that my beliefs and my faith doesn't stand to hurt people either."
April stays out of the room entirely. But her husband David says the two of them have talked about April's feelings before.
"[It was] just a conversation we were having yesterday, maybe brought up by my wife, who thinks ... marriage came from God," he says.
Although Melanie says she respects April for not wanting to talk on-air, she wishes April would have stayed in the room to express herself.
"The conversation among us could potentially be something a lot of people can identify with, because they have families who are struggling," Melanie says. "Some families are further along and some families are so not accepting. I think really talking about the issue is important."
Julia defends April's absence from the table, too. "It's not that she didn't want to be here to support Melanie, obviously she's here. But ..."
Before Julia could finish speaking, the room is interrupted by a loud slam. April had been by the front door — she had overheard everything and decided to leave. An awkward silence follows.
Later that night, Melanie texted us, explaining that April had misunderstood the conversation. She thought the impression at the table was that she doesn't support Melanie.
But that really wasn't the case.
The impression we left with was this: April loves Melanie, but feels conflicted about her own beliefs — like many people who are coming to terms with a gay relative.
We saw a family, like so many others, struggling with something hard — something that many families avoid altogether.

November 21, 2014

Dad Finds out 13 Yr old Son is Gay on a Google Search


                                                                      
A person's Google search history can often provide a direct window to their soul.
So when a 38-year-old single dad accidentally saw that his 13-year-old son had been looking up things along the lines of "I'm gay, what now," he was conflicted. Should he pretend he didn't see It and wait for his son to come out on his own terms? Or, should he tell him he loves him and supports him no matter what? Dad wasn't sure, so he consulted Reddit for advice.
"What are my options?" he asked. "Should I wait for him to tell me? or should I make a few hints at it?” 
"I'm worried that if I don't hint at it, that he will be worried about something that he really doesn't have to be worried about," the dad explained.
"He has seemed slightly down recently, as in, he isn't as cheerful as he once was, and I desperately want to tell him that I love him regardless of which sexuality he is," he continued. "I love him regardless of which gender he loves, in fact when I was slightly older than him I had a few flings with guys, which he doesn't know about, so I am 100% supportive."
The fellas at r/askgaybros were happy to share their input. "Google 'how to tell my son I will love and support him no matter what' and leave it in his search history," suggested one user. Another suggested the dad let his son “come to you with this," suggesting int he meantime, he start being discretely supportive of LGBT matters, by "[making] a positive remark when gay marriage is discussed on tv, compliment(iing) a show for their inclusiveness of LGBT characters, etc." 
Don't "force him to 'come out' before he's ready," suggested another user. "There's no telling what he himself thinks about the whole 'liking guys' thing yet, so it would probably be best to give him some space for the time being. What you can do, is lead him in the right direction. Without being too obvious, introduce some more LGBT culture into his life...Let him know what side you are on, and that you are there for him if he needs the support."
So what did dad do? In an update posted to Reddit a few days later, he explained that he "started off with talking about general media with [his son]," like "how awesome it was that Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as being gay..."
The following day, he asked his son if he had any crushes, and when he said maybe, the dad asked who was “the lucky person." 
"At this point he sort of looked at me slightly confused, I'm not 100% sure why, but I'm assuming it is because I said 'lucky person; rather than ;lucky girl,;" continued dad.
At that point, he "dropped the conversation," but in doing so, he told his son, "Well, whoever it is, they should be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend.."
That night, after a few seconds of silence, the son told his father, "I'm gay." Dad got up, "and gave him a huge hug," he wrote. "[The son] even started to cry on my shoulder and because of that I couldn't help myself but shed a couple tears. We talked for a bit while finishing our dinner about how I can't emphasize enough that I love him regardless of which gender he loves etc..."
Countless Redditors were bestowing gold (fictitious currency) onto the dad. He was appreciative, at first, but then suggested a better use of well-wishers' funds: Giving to a charitable organization. “ I’ve heard wonderful things of The Trevor Project," he wrote, "who provide a 24/7 suicide and crisis prevention hotline for LGBTQ youth."
pic:The Inquisitr-

November 13, 2014

Actress Ellen page Says She felt Like an AHole While in the Closet




ACTRESS Ellen Page has opened up in a new interview about her decision earlier this year to come out as gay, saying life in the closet made her feel “guilty” and “like an a**hole.”
The Juno and X-Men star came out publicly on Valentine’s Day while giving a Human Rights Campaign speech. Now, in an interview with gay and lesbian magazine OUT to celebrate being named the publication’s ‘Entertainer of the Year’, Page has spoken about how heavily the decision weighed on her.
“We all go through a journey and get where we need to be, but I really did start feeling guilty. I kind of felt like an a**hole,” Page said.
Page says she ‘doesn’t have to talk about dresses and heels’ ever again.
Page says she ‘doesn’t have to talk about dresses and heels’ ever again. Source: AFP
Grrl power ... Page in the 2009 roller derby romp Whip It.
Grrl power ... Page in the 2009 roller derby romp Whip It.Source: Supplied 
The 27-year-old said she was even finding her media commitments more enjoyable now that she didn’t feel pressured to hide any part of her life.
“You just feel different in the world. Once you’ve done something that you used to think was impossible, what could ever really scare you again? Even now, press is more enjoyable because I don’t have to have certain conversations. For instance, I’m never going to have to have a conversation about a dress, or heels, ever again,” she said.
Page described the pressure not to come out from those inside the entertainment industry as insidious, saying she never felt like she could bring a woman to an event like the Oscars before coming out.
“No one’s ever been so direct as to say, ‘You’re gay, so we’re gonna hide it.’ But there’s an unspoken thing going on. [People] believe it’s the right thing to do for your career. They don’t realise it’s eroding your soul. It was eventually about me being like, Wait, why am I listening to that? At what point did I let those things become important?”

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