Showing posts with label Men’s Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men’s Health. Show all posts

July 8, 2016

In a Caribbean Village Many Boys are Born Without a Penis”Guevedoce”

Scientists and BBC presenter travelled to the Dominican Republic to meet the ‘Guevedoce' males who do not grow a penis until puberty

This little girl is a boy born without a penis but will develop one at 12

I hated going through puberty; voice cracking, swinging moods, older brother laughing at me. But compared to Johnny, who lives in a small town in the Dominican Republic, I had it easy. 
We came across Johnny when we were filming for a new BBC2 series, “Countdown to Life”, which looks at the consequences of normal, and abnormal, developments in the womb. 
Johnny is known as a “Guevedoce”, which literally means, “penis at twelve”. And the reason he’s called that is because, like 1 in 90 of the boys in the area, he first started to grow a penis when he was going through puberty. 
Guevedoces are also sometimes called “machihembras” meaning “first a woman, then a man”. When they’re born they look like girls with no testes and what appears to be a vagina. It is only when they near puberty that the penis grows and testicles descend. 
Johnny, who is now in his 20s, was once known as Felicita. He was brought up as a girl and remembers going to school in a little red dress. 
When he was young he would happily play with other little girls, but after the age of seven he started to change 
“I did not feel good, I no longer liked to wear a skirt, and I was no longer drawn to play with girls. All I wanted to do is play with toy guns and boys” 
When he turned obviously male he was teased at school because”, as he put it, “it is hard to imagine a girl that is now is a boy”.  
One of the first people to study this unusual condition was Dr Julianne Imperato, a Cornell endocrinologist. She travelled to this remote part of the Dominican Republic in the 1970s because of strange rumours about girls turning into boys 
She eventually unraveled the mystery of what is going on and by doing so helped make a surprising medical breakthrough. 
At conception we all inherit a set of genes from our parents that will, in time instruct our bodies to make us male or female. But for the first few weeks of our lives human embryos are neither. Instead we have a protrusion called a tubercle. If you’re genetically male the Y chromosome instructs the gonads to become testicles. They also send testosterone to the tubercle, where it is converted into a potent hormone called dihydro-testosterone This transforms the tubercle into a penis. If you’re female and don’t make dihydro-testosterone then your tubercle becomes a clitoris. 
When Dr Imperato investigated the Guavadoces she discovered the reason they don’t have male genitalia at birth is because they are deficient in an enzyme called 5-α-reductase, which normally converts testosterone into dihydro-testosterone. So they appear female when they are born, but around puberty, when they get another surge of testosterone, they sprout muscles, testes and a penis. 
Apart from being slightly undersized everything works and the Guavadoces normally live out their lives as men, albeit with wispy beards and small prostates. 
By a quirk of chance Dr Imperato’s research was picked up by the American pharmaceutical giant, Merck. They used her discovery to create a drug called finasteride, which blocks the action of 5-α-reductase. IT is now widely used to treat benign enlargement of the prostate and male pattern baldness. For which, I’m sure, many men are truly grateful 
Since he’s become male Johnny has had a number of short term girlfriends, but he is still looking for the love of his life. “I’d like to get married and have children, a partner who will stand by me through good and bad”, he sighs wistfully.


May 18, 2016

Sexual Roulettes with HIV Men in Barcelona

Image result for gay roulette barcelona

Sexual roulettes with an unknown HIV person are going on in Barcelona as a fun orgy in which one person could win the Prize. Jesus Vazquez, Boris Izaguirre and Fernando Grande-Marlaska, are Doctors that have been in a campaign fighting the spread of AIDS since 2007.

Hospital and clinic Doctors of infectious diseases and AIDS have warned that in Barcelona men are holding parties called sexual roulette (ruletas sexuales). Gay Men are invited to this gatherings with someone who is HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, to make a more stimulating sexual experience. Specialists, which include Dr. Josep Mallolas, deputy in that service, warn that “they have lost respect” for a disease that, well treated, is not deadly because it can be managed just like any chronic illness but its also incurable and life threatening.

These parties, reports Cadena Ser, consisting of gay men —habitually these groups meet in a place to have an orgy or engage in group sex, including the guest HIV individual but without disclosing to participants which one is the one. "Who gets him, gets him," they explain.

Sexual roulettes have different formats. Some are unique to HIV carriers, and others that can also access healthy people. “There is smorgasbord of everything: parties that are authentic sexual roulettes, or events they cannot go if you're not already infected with HIV," said Mallolas.

The disease is still fatal in countries where the population does not have publicly funded health care system, but clearly added Mallolas, here they don’t fear it. A Doctor specialist in HIV has related the story of a gay young man of 22 years.  The young man explains:  “My sexuality is very important to me and I do not want to give it up, at age 22, to live the rest of my life with a condom on?  Living every day with the fear of getting infected for the rest of my life, so the sooner I get infected, the sooner I can try to get an undetectable viral load, before suffering and always thinking ‘what if I get infected’.” Dr.Mallolas added, “When he said that, I froze.”

Antiretroviral therapy for HIV costs the Ministry of Health about 7,000 euros per year per person, plus other drugs that the patient needs to eliminate other occasional, frequent infections in HIV people.

The Health dept. says in Catalonia you have 30,000 people receiving anti-AIDS treatment.  The gay community is the only one experiencing a steady increase in the numbers of new infections, says Health.

Translated by adamfoxie blog International

Original Spanish Newspaper story:


 Ruletas sexuales en Barcelona con un enfermo de sida como invitado de incógnito en la orgía
Jesús Vázquez, Boris Izaguirre y Fernando Grande-Marlaska, en una campaña contra el contagio de sida entre hombres del 2007.
Médicos del servicio de enfermedades infecciosas y sida del Hospital Clínic han alertado de que en Barcelona se están celebrando encuentros denominados ruletas sexuales, a los que se invita a un infectado por el VIH, el virus que causa el sida, con el fin de hacer más estimulante la experiencia. Los especialistas, entre los que figura el doctor Josep Mallolas, adjunto en el citado servicio, advierten de que "se ha perdido el respeto" a una enfermedad que, bien tratada, no resulta mortal ya que se puede sobrellevar de forma crónica, pero que es incurable y potencialmente mortal.

Estos encuentros, informa la Cadena Ser, consisten en grupos --habitualmente hombres homosexuales- que se citan en un local con el objetivo de celebrar una orgía o mantener relaciones sexuales colectivas, incluyendo al invitado que sufre el sida pero sin revelar a los participantes cuál de ellos es el individuo enfermo. "A quien le toca, le toca", explican.

 Ruletas sexuales en Barcelona con un enfermo de sida como invitado de incógnito en la orgía 
Las ruletas sexuales tienen diversos formatos. Unas son exclusivas para portadores del VIH, y otras a las que pueden acceder también personas sanas. "Hay de todo: fiestas que son auténticas ruletas sexuales, o encuentros a los que no puedes acudir si no estás ya infectado por el VIH", ha explicado Mallolas.

La enfermedad sigue siendo mortal en los países donde la población no dispone de sistema sanitario financiado públicamente, pero es evidente, añadió Mallolas, que aquí no se la teme. El especialista ha relatado a la emisora el comentario que le hizo un homosexual de 22 años: "Me dijo, mi sexualidad es importantísima y no me quiero resignar, a los 22 años, a vivir el resto de mi vida con un preservativo puesto. ¿Que alternativa tengo?: Infectarme. Y cuanto antes me infecte y antes me trate y mantenga una carga viral indetectable, antes dejaré de sufrir por si me infecto", ha explicado Mallolas. "Cuando me lo dijo, me quedé helado", ha añadido el médico.

La terapia antirretroviral que debe seguir un infectado por el VIH cuesta a la Conselleria de Salut unos 7.000 euros al año, más los fármacos que el paciente necesita para eliminar otras infecciones ocasionales, frecuentes en estas personas.

En Catalunya reciben tratamiento antisida unas 30.000 personas. El colectivo homosexual es el único que experimenta un constante incremento en las cifras de nuevos infectados, indica Salut. 

May 17, 2016

A Cancer Survivor Receives the First Penis Transplant in the US

Thomas Manning gives a thumbs up after being asked how he was feeling following the first penis transplant in the United States, in Boston. Sam Riley / Mass General Hospital via AP

Surgeons said Monday they have done the first penis transplant in the U.S., helping a 64-year-old man who lost his organ to cancer. 
Massachusetts General Hospital planned a news conference later Monday to give details about the transplant, which is only the third recorded penis transplant ever done globally. 

"Earlier this month during a 15-hour procedure, surgeons connected the intricate vascular and nerve structures of a donor penis with those of the 64-year-old transplant recipient. The patient continues to recover well," the hospital said in a statement. 

The New York Times interviewed the patient, who it identified as Thomas Manning, a bank courier from Halifax, Massachusetts. 

"I want to go back to being who I was," the newspaper quoted Manning as saying. 
Last year, a South African university said it had performed a successful penis transplant. Later, the patient went on to father a child
China reported an unsuccessful transplant in 2006, saying it was reversed deliberately because the man and his wife did not like the result. 
Penis transplants are complicated. The organ has many blood vessels and nerve endings, and also must connect the urethra to the bladder and to the prostate inside the body. 
Plastic surgeons can perform penile reconstruction using a patient's own skin but a transplant of an entire organ is more complicated. 
 Lab-Grown Penises Lets Bunnies do What Bunnies do Best
Researchers funded by the U.S. military are also working on ways to regenerate penises in the lab for transplant using a patient's own cells. The hope is to help soldiers whose genitals have been damaged by mines and other explosive devices. 
The United Network for organ Sharing says there is one patient on the waiting list for a penile transplant in the United States. The University of Maryland Medical System, Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, Massachusetts General Hospital, Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Johns Hopkins Hospital all have approval to perform them.

May 9, 2016

A Deep Voice a Man Does Not Make but is Only for Males to Have, Why?

Image: Mountain gorillas

Men's deep, resonant voices did not evolve to thrill the ladies, but rather are likely to scare off their rivals, researchers say. 
A study of how people respond to voices shows that men react far more strongly to a deeply pitched male voice than women do. 
And humans, it seems, have the biggest sex-based differences in voice pitch of any primate. Women's voices are far higher and men's far lower, the team at Penn State University found. 
"A lower pitch made men attractive to women. But it especially made men seem more dominant to other men," said anthropologist David Puts at Penn State, who led the study team. 
Puts studies gender-based differences and what they mean. In other primates, the differences between males and females tend to become more obvious when there’s a lot of competition for mates, he said.  
They collected thousands of recordings of primates from around the world, from monkeys to apes. They found the difference in voice pitch correlated with mating patterns. 
"When a species evolves towards more polygyny - more male competition for females -- the species tends to evolve more sex differences," he said. "With monogamy, the sex differences diminish." 

Anthropologists already know that with humans, the size differences are not as big as with gorillas and orangutans, where males are much bigger than females. And female humans don't always choose their mates in easily predictable ways. 
"We find that masculine traits in humans are not the same as, say, in peacocks where the beautiful tail attracts a mate," said Puts. “For example, beards make men more dominant-looking, scarier and seemingly more dangerous, but most women prefer clean-shaven men."  
And the voice differences are large, too. Men's voices tend to come in at around 110 hertz (Hz), while women's are much higher, at 200-220 Hz. 
But why? 
"We are trying to understand the evolution of these really large sex differences in voice pitch that we see in humans and some other primates as well," Puts said. 

Image: Mountain gorillasRoughly 880 critically endangered mountain gorillas live in Rwanda, Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo. Gorilla Doctors/UC Davis

They recorded more than 500 men and women speaking and then played the recordings back to more than 1,100 different men and women. 
Each female recording was rated for attractiveness by 15 men. Each male recording was rated by 15 men for dominance and 15 women for short- and long-term romantic attractiveness. 
The lower the voice, the more other men thought the voice belonged to a dominant man, Puts and colleagues reported in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B.
To a lesser degree, women liked lower-pitched voices too, but it was not consistent. 
The study also suggests why women manage fine whether they have high voices or a throaty purr. Men didn't seem to care much about women's voices. 
"We looked at female pitch and we just didn't find anything," Puts said. Men liked high-pitched and low-pitched women’s voices just fine. 
Then they tested some men and women for cortisol, a stress hormone, and testosterone, the so-called male hormone. Consistently higher cortisol levels tend to damage health. 
Men with low-pitched voices had lower levels of cortisol and higher levels of testosterone, they found. 
"It tells something about their condition, their health, their formidability," Puts said. 
"In humans and possibly other primates, too, a low pitched voice evolved primarily to intimidate other men … to make males seem bigger and scarier."

February 17, 2016

Good News for Men: Your Doctor will Not feel your Prostate Unless he is also Your Husband

Researches in England have developed a new diagnostic test that can detecturology-related cancers by 'smelling' the diseases in urine samples.
The test looks for evidence that the chemical composition of bodily waste has been affected by cancerous prostate cells, thus offering a means to catch the disease early.
Academics claim that the new procedure, inspired  by dogs' ability to sniff out melanomas, could eliminate the need for painful probes and the prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test, both of which are invasive and seen as a factor behind men not visiting the doctor with prostate problems.

Researchers at the University of West England have created their 'very own dog's nose' CREDIT: YOUTUBE/UWE
Dr. Chris Probert, a professor at the University of Liverpool’s Institute of Translational Medicine, and Professor Raj Persad, a  Consultant Urologist at Southmead Hospital, led the study - for which their team studied a group of volunteers.
The experimental trial, conducted in collaboration with the University of the West of England’s Urological Institute and Bristol Royal Infirmary and published in the Journal of Breath Research, involved 155 men from various British urology clinics. 58 of the men suffered from prostate cancer, 24 had bladder cancer, and the remaining 73 had urological problems but no cancer.
After acquiring urine samples, the researchers developed algorithms to analyse the patterns of volatile compounds in the urine. Using a gas chromatography sensor system called an Odoreader, they were able to detect which of these compounds may indicate cancer.
Professor Raj Persad believes that the result of the study could lead to more men catching the disease in its early stages.
 "If this test succeeds in a full medical trial it will revolutionise diagnostics," says Prof Persad. "Even with detailed biopsies there is a risk we may fail to detect prostate cancer in some cases.
 "Currently indicators such as an enlarged prostate and unusually high PSA levels can lead to recommendations for biopsy if there is a concern cancer may be prevalent. But an accurate urine test would mean many men who currently undergo prostate biopsy may not need to do so."

Probert believes that men would benefit from more early detection tests CREDIT: ALAMY
Over 10,000 UK men die from prostate cancer each year, with almost 45,000 new cases of the disease reported annually. It is the second most common cancer-related cause of death in men after lung cancer.
Dr Chris Probert believes that some men feel uncomfortable with existing prostate tests, and therefore forego them - leaving potential cancers undiagnosed. He hopes that the new test may change this.
 "There is an urgent need to identify these cancers at an earlier stage when they are more treatable," says Probert, "as the earlier a person is diagnosed the better.
 "After further sample testing, the next step is to take this technology and put it into a user friendly format. With help from industry partners we will be able to further develop the Odoreader, which will enable it to be used where it is needed most; at a patient's bedside, in a doctor's surgery, in a clinic or Walk In Centre, providing fast, inexpensive, accurate results."

May 25, 2015

Ejaculation Reduces Chances of Prostate cancer

Good news, men: you may be able to decrease your risk for prostate cancer by ejaculating — frequently, according to research presented here at American Urological Association 2015 Annual Meeting.
The frothy advice is not new but is now backed up by the "strongest evidence to date" on the subject, according to lead author Jennifer Rider, ScD, MPH, an epidemiologist at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston.
"There is no modifiable risk factor for developing prostate cancer," Dr Rider told Medscape Medical News. "It would be exciting to tell men that there was a way to modify their risk."
However, she noted that these are observational data and urged caution when "interpreting them."
The results are "fascinating," said Jesse Sammon, MD, a urologist at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, who attended Dr Rider's presentation. "It was the highlight of the session on cancer epidemiology; the moderator called it the 'study most likely to be tweeted'."
These are "incredibly high-quality data," said Dr Sammon, who was not involved with the study.
The data come from nearly 32,000 men in the prospective Health Professionals Follow-up Study, who now have been followed for 18 years.
During the study period, 3839 men have been diagnosed with incident prostate cancer, 384 cases of which were lethal.
At recruitment in 1992, all participating men were asked to report their average monthly frequency of ejaculation from the ages of 20 to 29 years and 40 to 49 years, and during the previous year. A lifetime average was then computed from these reports.
After potential confounders were controlled for, the risk for prostate cancer was 20% lower in men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month than in men who ejaculated 4 to 7 times a month. The 20% risk reduction was seen at ages 20 to 29 and 40 to 49, and for the lifetime average (P trend < .0001 for all).
At ages 40 to 49, men most (38.0%) reported 8 to 12 ejaculations per month; only 8.8% reported at least 21 ejaculations per month.
"We shouldn't dwell on the exact numbers of ejaculation, but instead should focus on the dose–response relation," Dr Rider advised.
She summarized: "Safe sexual activity could be good for prostate health."
Notably, there was no association between ejaculation frequency and the risk for high-grade, advanced, or lethal disease, she reported. The reason for this exception is not known.
These results are an update of the last major report from the Health Professionals Follow-up Study, which was published about 10 years ago (JAMA2004;291:1578-1586). At that time, investigators concluded that "high ejaculation frequency may possibly be associated with a lower risk of total and organ-confined prostate cancer," as reported by Medscape Medical News.
Many other studies have likewise reported that ejaculation frequency might be tied to prostate cancer risk, with more orgasms being protective.
But these new data have three outstanding strengths, Dr Rider said.
First, the study is prospective, whereas most other studies have been retrospective, and the data are long term. Second, the study involves the largest cohort to date. And third, the study has specific information on ejaculation, she explained.
Whereas previous studies have tended to rely on "proxies" for ejaculation, such as age at marriage, number of children, and number of sex partners, the Health Professionals Follow-up Study investigators were bold; they explicitly asked about ejaculations from sexual intercourse, masturbation, and nocturnal emissions.
The average age of the men in the study was about 59 years, and they had undergone an average of five PSA tests by 2008. Most of the men were married, but the men who reported at least 21 ejaculations per month at ages 40 to 49 were more likely to be divorced than less robust ejaculators (11.8% vs 4% - 7%).
American Urological Association (AUA) 2015 Annual Meeting: Abstract PD6-07. Presented May 15, 2015.

May 26, 2014

Testicular Self-Exams and self treatment a Bargain Compared With Cancer Care

                                    How to properly apply androgel:

The cost of evaluations prompted by a patient's testicular self-examination is far outweighed by the financial and human costs of treating late-stage testicular cancer, according to a new cost-utility analysis.
"We can calculate that 300,000 negative clinical examinations, based on a testicular self-examination, could have been performed for the cost of all the metastatic testicular cancer treated in 2013," said investigator Michael Aberger, MD, a urology resident at the University of Kansas Medical Center in Kansas City.
He reported the results here at the American urological Association 2014 Annual Scientific Meeting.
Questioning Task Force Recommendations
The findings contradict US Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) recommendations published in 2004, 2009, and 2011. The USPSTF recommends against screening for testicular cancer in adolescent or adult males.
'"Most cases of testicular cancer are discovered accidentally by patients or their partners. There is inadequate evidence that screening by clinician examination or patient self-examination has a higher yield or greater accuracy for detecting testicular cancer at earlier [and more curable] stages," the 2011 recommendations state (Ann Intern Med2011;154;483-486).
They go on to say that '"based on the low incidence of this condition and favorable outcomes of treatment, even in cases of advanced disease, there is adequate evidence that the benefits of screening for testicular cancer are small to none."
However, none of the articles reviewed by the USPSTF met inclusion criteria for the study of testicular self-examination as a screening tool, said Dr. Aberger.
In addition, the panel did not include cost estimates of carrying out the recommendations, despite an annual cost of treating testicular cancer in the United States of approximately $21.8 million (in year 2000 dollars), he explained.
Clinical Scenarios
Dr. Aberger and his colleagues created practical clinical scenarios that a clinician could encounter after a patient discovers a mass during testicular self-examination. Four that assume that the disease is benign, 2 assume that it is malignant, and 2 assume that an advanced-stage cancer was previously missed.
The researchers used Medicare reimbursement data to estimate the cost of care, and assumed that care would be provided in accordance with National Comprehensive Cancer Network guidelines.
They determined that the cost of a clinical examination to rule out a patient's suspicion of cancer would be $156.47.
The most expensive benign-disease scenario assumes that a self-exam leads to clinical examination, a scrotal ultrasound showing an intratesticular lesion ($115.87), laboratory tests ($135.89), radical inguinal orchiectomy with benign pathology ($7249.29), and chest x-ray ($28.52), for a grand total of $7,686.04.
Looking at malignant disease, they found that the total treatment cost for an advanced-stage seminoma ($48,877) or nonseminoma ($51,592) equaled the cost of 313 benign office visits ($156), 180 office visits with scrotal ultrasound ($272), 79 office visits with serial scrotal ultrasounds and labs ($621), 6 office visits resulting in radical inguinal orchiectomy for benign pathology ($7,686), or 3 office visits resulting in detection, treatment, and surveillance of an early-stage testicular cancer.
Dr. Aberger's team acknowledges that the study was limited by the use of Medicare reimbursement data even though testicular cancer is predominantly seen in men younger than 65. Nonetheless, Medicare data are the best way to estimate medical costs nationwide.
In fact, said Dr. Aberger, actual costs might be much higher than the models assume because Medicare typically reimburses at rates 20% to 30% below those of private insurers.
"This is a great study," said Benjamin Davies, MD, associate professor of urology at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, who moderated the briefing during which the data were presented.
"It highlights the fact that testicular self-exam is not that expensive if there is benign pathology, and that missing a diagnosis of malignancy is extremely expensive," he explained.
Dr. Davies told Medscape Medical News that it could add significantly to the strength of the study findings if the researchers could determine the proportion of patient self-referrals for possible testicular cancer that turned out to be benign. A small pilot study might be sufficient to answer that question, he said.
Neil Osterweil
The study was internally funded. Dr. Aberger and Dr. Davies have disclosed no relevant financial relationships.
American Urological Association (AUA) 2014 Annual Scientific Meeting. Abstract MP10-11, Presented May 17, 2014.
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March 19, 2014

Butt Chugging “Don’t Do It” Straight or Gay

 This page obtained from written By Jeff Winkler
The insertion of foreign objects into the rectum intestinum of Homo sapiens is nothing new. As you’ll remember from history class, the Maya administered tobacco and hallucinogenic enemas for religious purposes, and also probably because they were bored. They were kind enough to leave behind stone reliefs and figurines documenting the deed—now we use web videos and blogs for similar purposes. And we got rid of the cumbersome spiritual aspects of inserting tubes into our butts as well. This is called progress.
The latest round of anal-centric tittering occurred in late September when University of Tennessee Pi Kappa Alpha member Alexander “Xander” Broughton (yes, presumably pronounced “bro-ton”) was treated for severe alcohol poisoning after “allegedly” butt chugging boxed wine (the proper bro-menclature, I believe, is “Tour de Franzia”). Butt chugging—in case you were blissfully unaware—allows the alcohol to bypass the liver’s filtering and metabolic processes so that the ethanol drains straight into the bloodstream via veins to the vena cava. You're basically short-circuiting the body's poison defenses by putting liquor in your ass. It’s supposed to be an intense and near-instant buzz.
The university subsequently suspended the frat’s chapter, and that would have been the end of it. Except Xander then held an unintentionally(?) hilarious press conference. Surrounded by his lawyer and the entire UT chapter of Pi Kaps, Xander denied previously knowing anything about butt chugging, castigated the institutions accusing him of the act, promised retribution against the media outlets so fascinated with his story, and, through his lawyer, made it very clear that “he is a straight man and he thinks the idea... of butt chugging is absolutely repulsive.”
I’m a straight man, too, and one who knows, unlike Xander, that it’s totally not gay to put things up your butt. How could I not be intrigued by butt chugging? It seems like a terrible idea, sure, but young people have done many silly things that have brought joy to millions, like Facebook—could drinking through your ass be like Facebook? Turns out, no. It is terrible, as I found out when I experimented with it the other evening. Still, it does allow one to see the world from a different point of view. And not simply because I spent much of said evening flat on my back, glutes floating in midair, angling a booze-loaded enema bottle. No, it’s deeper than that. Deeper, too, than the enema’s one-and-a-half inch, pre-lubricated nozzle that penetrated my interior sphincter. The point is, fresh perspectives blossom after butt chugging a glass of Franzia and a half a pint of vodka.
Perspective 1: Doggie Style
I insist on “Sunset Blush” for the wine. The name suggests a kind of tenderness one’s bum might find acceptable, even inviting. I also purchase vodka and whiskey, for comparison as well as a quicker fix. Across the street from the liquor store, the pharmacy sells two-for-one enemas. “They should advertise it as ‘twin-emas,’” the Significant Other (SO) announces cheerily (for fairly obvious reasons, she’s remaining anonymous).
Back at the house, I carefully pour two shots of Sunset Blush into the enema bottle. The classic elbows-and-knees doggie-style with a drip towel underneath seems like the most respectable option.
Behind the closed bathroom door, my rear shimmies skyward as I try to steady my weight with the left forearm while the right contorts uncomfortably behind, poking clumsily for the entry point. A few deep breaths help ease the pigeon baster inward and a cool blast of Sunset Blush hits my innards. Not too bad. No stinging. Maybe a little more drippage than I’d like. But my sphincter revolts. While trying to coax my anus both physically and verbally (“Shhhh, it’s OK. It’s OK”), I take stock of my own compromising position. I feel, well, there’s no other way to put it… it feels so damndegrading. For fear of sounding flippant, I won’t say that I finally connected emotionally with my feminist sisters who deride doggie-style sex as a form of demeaning subjugation. But yeah, there’s pretty much no way to feel empowered when you’re on your hands and knees and something is going up your ass. After that epiphany, I wipe off the excess Franzia, pull up my pants and go to the kitchen where the SO and I make pizza.
Perspective 2: Stirrup style
I had expected a quick rush of inebriation, or, at the very least, heavy blushing of the upper cheeks. No dice. Just sore quads and slight dizziness from a heady blood-rush. I measure out six ounces and try it again, this time leaning against the tub with my left leg hitched to the low-hanging towel rack and the right sticking into the sink. Considering the difficulties I had the last go-around, I lather the enema up good with Vaseline.
Positioned like a woman in a gynecologist’s stirrups and over the initial novelty, I work the enema like a physician going through the motions. I begin to drift back to simpler times:
My old roommate and I used to drink so much that we got bored with the basic mechanics of intoxication. We hunted down exciting alternatives. Thankfully, he worked at a store that sold all manner of hippie kitsch. He stole a small fog-creating fountain shaped like a mountain spring that we filled with booze, hoping to get drunk on the whiskey fumes we collected in a bottomless two-liter bottle. It was a disappointment and worse, a waste of whiskey.
The frat bros who “allegedly” butt chugged must have been bored, too. What’s left after numerous games of beer pong, beer 30, shotguns, shot o’clock, belly shots, keg stands, ice luges, beer helmets, and Edward Fortyhands? Only some overused beer bong tubing and the next logical step. If, as I suspect, Xander was so bored and so aroused by the novelty of butt chugging that he actually broke culturally-accepted drinking rituals by performing the taboo act with such gusto that he was sent to the hospital with a BAC of .40, well… quite frankly, I applaud his effort.
What does bother me, however, was Xander’s homophobic non-sequitur at the press conference as relayed by his lawyer. A good number of hetrosexual men enjoy “kinky” activities like anal fingering, butt plugs, and strap-ons. Still, prejudiced tool or not, he was onto something when he derided the media for its reckless, giggly coverage. Everyone was so amused by the act itself that Xander’s incredibly ill-informed and homophobic statement was essentially ignored, or maybe it’s taken for granted that a 20-year-old bro hates gay people.
Is our culture doomed? I ask myself, as I finish putting what is now a full glass of Franzia into my ass. Things are looking bad. For one, I ain’t drunk. Secondly, my hand is cramping. And worst of all, I’m getting bored.
Perspective 3: Quarterback sneak
My friend arrives as I’m loading a second shot of vodka into the enema bottle. He only stays for a short while. He thought I was kidding about the whole butt chugging thing. During his brief stay, we contemplate better potential positions. With the first vodka shot, I had tried what I called the “quarterback sneak,” which consisted of me standing in what’s more a less a football lineman’s stance. A little less seepage, but still some struggling behind the line. At least the vodka didn’t sting as I had anticipated. Every time, there’s gurgling as the enema empties. It feels strange. Overall: C+
Having to leave the conversation to take my dose is annoying, like being the only smoker at a health-freak party. After a brainstorm, we conclude that the best way to butt chug is to lie completely flat with the legs thrown all the way over the head. “You gotta relax your leg muscles,” says my friend, repeatedly, as he demonstrates the position. This was the preferred method in most of the butt chugging pictures and videos I’d seen. Hell, the boys from Jackassdid it that way.
This time, two shots of vodka go in with nary a drop spilled. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite take. The others made my intestines rumble and made me feel like I might shart. Now I’m definitely holding back something fierce. I sprint to the bathroom and almost don’t make it. What comes out is mostly clear liquid. And dear God does it burn. I wipe good and try to walk it off. “Come on! Ralph and rally!” I yell to myself. I’m back in the bathroom a few minutes later with another two shots. This new position seems to work best, even if my rectum is really beginning to smart.
Perspective 4: Brown lotus
The SO was initially apprehensive about the project, her primary concern being our possible dash to the ER. She hates driving at night. Me being hell bent on butt chugging, she took control when she could. For one, she preferred the term “Butt Chug Babysitter,” to my suggested title, “Butt Chugging Supervisor.” Then, slowly, she kinda got caught up in the whole thing.
After yet another shot in that new position, which I decide to call “brown lotus,” there’s still no intoxicating feeling. I do some googling, hoping to find a helpful step-by-step guide. The only thing Google helps with is my spelling: “Did you mean: how to buttchug?” Seeing me getting frustrated, the SO suggests “skimming,” i.e. soaking a tampon in vodka before inserting it into a cavity. She says we’d have to go to the store tomorrow for an applicator. I tell her I’m on deadline. She suggests that, perhaps, she can blow pot smoke into my ass. Her reasoning being, “Hey, as long as we’re putting stuff up there that’ll fuck you up…”
Back in the lotus position, I hear the SO charging toward me. “Can I do it?” she asks in a way that sounds suspiciously like a command. I don’t even have time to respond. With my legs over my head, the SO is perfectly framed. She’s got a steely-eyed look on her face and is holding the enema bottle like a gun.
“Honey, you look a little disturbing from this angle,” I tell her.
“I could say the same thing about you, honey.”
There’s neither warning nor sympathy from her. She gets it in so deep, I can’t even feel the enema working. Until, of course, she says, “it’s hard to keep it in,” and begins to wiggle the pigeon baster with such force I shed a tear.
The next dose is also my last of the night. Partially, it’s because I’ve put the entire half pint into my ass. It also feels like I’ve got an Indian burn on my rectum. But the main reason is that the SO wants to go out drinking with some girlfriends. She’s as bored with this little adventure as I am. Without saying much, we walk into the bathroom like it’s another day at the factory. I lay down and she administers the enema. The entire process takes less than a minute. We’re pros now.
Perspective 5: Lying Prone
The SO and I go out for a few traditional mouth drinks. Surprisingly, a few of her girlfriends have never heard of butt chugging, or thought it was some alcoholic version of “2 Girls 1 Cup.” At one point, I excuse myself and drop some loose stool into the toilet. It smells cleanish, like supermarket salmon.
Like I said, what I’ve been attempting is more akin to butt sipping than butt chugging. To watch actual butt chugging in action really is an interesting site. One Vimeo post shows a man lying completely prone with a beer bottle shoved into his crack. The bottom has been removed and his friend giggle as they pour some purplish liquid into the container. What’s amazing is watching his butt cheeks work. They move and slither like a snake digesting a mouse. It reallydoes look like someone orally chugging. I can’t do that. I don’t want to.
Lying prone in the bed that night, I can feel my asshole tingle incessantly, like I have a phantom butt plug. It’s not as bad as a spinning room or a hangover, but from now on, I’ll probably stick to more socially acceptable forms of alcohol consumption. Like drinking recklessly until I puke. At least then the chances are good that I wont remember the previous evening.

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