Showing posts with label Coming Out (USA). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coming Out (USA). Show all posts

February 8, 2017

He Says He Risks Nothing by ’Coming out’: College Football Player

Kyle Kurdziolek

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Kyle Kurdziolek, an all-state high school football player, faced a difficult decision.
A boy he had feelings for gave him an ultimatum — Kurdziolek needed to tell his family he was gay or they needed to stop seeing each other. No one else knew Kurdziolek’s sexuality except this guy, who lived 50 miles away.

As he thought through scenarios, Kurdziolek felt his heart race; His lungs had no air. He started gasping. His younger brother, Colin, walked in the bedroom they shared. Recognizing the panic attack, Colin guided Kyle outside to get fresh air.

Until Kyle felt calm, they sat under the stars in Streator, Ill. — the birthplace of Clyde Tombaugh, the astronomer who discovered the dwarf planet Pluto. Sitting about 100 miles southwest of Chicago, Kyle decided he could not tell anyone he is gay, not while living in this rural town of 13,500 people.

“After that panic attack, it really set me back wanting to tell people,” Kurdziolek said. “I didn’t want to go through that panic attack again.”
That was near the end of March 2014, which was Kurdziolek’s senior year of high school. Though Kurdziolek did not see his route to telling people he is gay, he saw a model.

On Feb. 9, 2014, Michael Sam publicly announced he is gay. Kurdziolek never heard of a football player being gay until Sam. When the St. Louis Rams drafted the Univ. of Missouri All-American and he played NFL preseason games, Kurdziolek realized he could one day be an openly gay football player.

“Seeing Michael Sam come out like that was just refreshing to me,” Kurdziolek said. “I felt comfortable that I’m not the only football player [who is gay].”
Kurdziolek, now a Univ. of St. Francis linebacker who will be a junior this fall, told his first teammate he is LGBT in May 2016, and in the nine months since, Kurdziolek found acceptance from family, teammates and coaches.

It’s been three years since Sam’s announcement, but it remains rare for an active college football player to talk publicly about being LGBT. Kurdziolek is currently believed to be the only active college football player publicly out as LGBT. He is only the fifth player ever who came while active, joining Mason Darrow, Mitch Eby, Conner Mertens, and Chip Sarafin.
Kurdziolek is also the first one with an athletic scholarship.
“I don’t feel like I’m risking anything,” Kurdziolek said. “The life I’m living right now is the dream.”

Kurdziolek’s family moved to Streator from Syracuse, N.Y., when he was in second grade. He soon joined the city’s youth football league, which allows tackling starting in second grade.
“I’ve always loved the physicality of it,” he said. “Football is my chance to alleviate any stress or pain I have within myself.”

But football caused stress, too, because it included the expectation to be straight. Dozens of times around his football teams, he overheard parents say if they had a gay son, they’d force him to be straight.

“It wasn’t very accepting in my area,” said Kurdziolek, whose own parents encouraged him and his siblings to be accepting of their gay neighbor.

Kurdziolek never dated girls, and before high school, he decided to focus his life on football and academics. He excelled in football, earning Illinois Football Coaches Association all-state honors at linebacker his senior year at Streator High School. Kurdziolek said Michigan State offered him a preferred walk-on spot on the football team, but he opted for NAIA-member University of St. Francis, where academic and athletic scholarships combined to covered his tuition.

The dual focus on school and football wavered some his senior year of high school. A boy in Bloomington, Illinois, reached out to him on Facebook. He also was gay, and Kurdziolek doesn’t know what led to him reaching out. Throughout most of his senior year, they met once a month, and Kurdziolek started to have feelings for him.

When the ultimatum came, it induced his worst panic attack and the darkest depression he’s ever felt. His mom recognized the depression and took him to a doctor who prescribed Xanax, which put him on a road to managing the depression. He also stopped talking to the Bloomington boy.

“It got better because I just wouldn’t think about me being gay,” Kurdziolek said. “For me, it’s just trying to get over that hump of realizing my purpose in life and being comfortable with who I am.”

He enrolled at St. Francis, a Catholic university, in the fall of 2014. Kurdziolek, who was raised Catholic, sees the suburban Chicago school as welcoming to LGBT students but proving he belonged on the football team took precedent over telling anyone he’s gay. The 5-foot-11, 205-pound Kurdziolek redshirted his first year. His second year, he played all 11 games and recorded 33 tackles.

After two years building relationships and showing his ability, Kurdziolek felt ready to take the next step. “Everything in life was going good,” he said. “It felt like there was one piece missing, and that one piece, personally for me, it was me coming out.”

For months, Kurdziolek felt close to coming out. When a co-worker at the clothing store Buckle asked about his relationship experience, he used that moment in May 2016 to tell someone straight for the first time that he’s LGBT.

Though Kurdziolek now identifies his sexuality as gay, he initially said he was bisexual “to get comfortable in my own shoes,” Kurdziolek said.

He told family, roommates, and teammates and received only acceptance. By the time practice started in August, Kurdziolek had told about 15 of his 103 teammates. He said none changed the way they treat him, but for some, there remains a conflict.

St. Francis running back Jordon Smith considers Kurdziolek a close friend, but he grew up Catholic and believes those philosophies. “I’m going to support my friend no matter what,” Smith said. “I’m not really for the whole gay rights thing, but I’m working on evolving. I’m trying to accept it more.”

By midseason, Kurdziolek assumed most of the team knew. Telling a coach felt like the next step. In early November, he ran into graduate assistant coach Josh Mander at the library. As they talked, Kurdziolek revealed he is gay.

“I told him, ‘I love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter,’” said Mander, who will be St. Francis’ linebackers coach in 2017. “I tried to just be comforting and let him know that he had my support.”

St. Francis’ 2016 season ended Nov. 12, and he played all 11 games for a second consecutive season. His 45 tackles ranked fifth on the team, and he accomplished that while playing most of the season with a torn labrum in his left shoulder, requiring surgery in January.
Kurdziolek held off telling St. Francis head coach Joe Curry until the season ended. He told Curry by text message in December and feared Curry would perceive his sexuality as a problem.

“I was happy that he told me,” Curry said. “I always tell the guys, ‘We want to build a relationship with you and not just be a coach.’ … I don’t treat Kyle any different. He is part of the program … and I’m extremely happy for him.”

Curry has coached at St. Francis since 2005, and he said Kurdziolek is his first player he’s known to be gay. The 2016 season was Mander’s first year coaching, but when he played at St. Francis from 2009-13, he said he didn’t know of any gay teammates.

“A gay man playing college football, something that you don’t hear or see ever, it’s one of those taboo things within the football world,” Mander said. “You wouldn’t expect a gay player to be here, but … maybe we start something that shows kids that it’s fine. You’re OK to be out and be a member of a football team.”

Kurdziolek turned 21 on Nov. 25, the day after Thanksgiving, and to celebrate the milestone, he planned a trip to Chicago’s gay neighborhood, Boystown. Kurdziolek made the trip with a few non-football friends and offensive lineman Tyler James.
“I had a blast,” said James, who had never been to a gay bar before Kurdziolek’s birthday. “I did something that I wouldn’t have done normally because of my friend Kyle, and I got to experience this whole new, cool atmosphere.”

Because of Thanksgiving, many of Kurdziolek’s teammates were with their families and unable to attend, making James’ attendance meaningful.
“Having him come along, it just made me feel confident about myself and the people I have around me that love me for me,” Kurdziolek said.

Since Kurdziolek started sharing he is LGBT with family and friends, his panic attacks and depression are gone. Several people said he is a happier person. James said he’s never seen Kurdziolek enjoy himself more than the trip to Boystown in their two years as friends. Boystown provided an experience that Kurdziolek thought was impossible a few years earlier sitting outside, catching his breath under the Streator sky.

“The biggest thing was that there was no judgement about who you came with, why you came, or why you were in Boystown,” Kurdziolek said. “There was no judgment.”

Kyle Kurdziolek can be reached by email at, Instagram @KKurdziolek5704, or Twitter @KKurdziolek45.
Erik Hall is a member of the Associated Press Sports Editors. He can be reached by email at, on Facebook, or Twitter @HallErik.

January 20, 2017

“ILoveMakonnen” Comes Out Gay

iLoveMakonnen has come out as gay.
The hip-hop star shared his news with a string of tweets in the small hours of Friday morning. “As a fashion icon, I can’t tell u about everybody else's closet, I can only tell u about mine, and it's time I've come out,” he wrote in one tweet.
The Atlanta rapper’s social media feeds have been mostly filled with love and support.
The MC (real name Makonnen Sheran) broke out with the 2014 smash "Club Goin Up On A Tuesday" and was a signing to Drake's OVO Sound. He left the label last year, issuing a statement on his departure: "I'm sure the haters will have something negative to say, but all in all my choice to be solely on Warner Bros Records was the right thing for me and for my best interest. Sorry there’s no beef to report.”

January 12, 2017

New Gallop Shows More Americans Open to Say If They are Gay

More than 10 million Americans now identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, according to a new analysis by Gallup of its daily polling data.
The analysis, based on interviews with more than 1.6 million US adults over five years of data collection, suggests that this isn’t just because the population is growing but because more people are openly identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender than before. About 3.5 percent of American adults identified this way in 2012, while 4.1 percent did in 2016.

Gallup’s data shows more people identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.Gallup

Younger generations are more likely to identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. According to Gallup, 7.3 percent of millennials identified as such in 2016, up from 5.8 percent in 2012. Just 3.2 percent of Generation X did in 2016 (the same as in 2012), 2.4 percent of baby boomers did (down from 2.7 percent in 2012), and 1.4 percent of traditionalists did (down from 1.8 percent in 2012).

Gallup data shows younger generations are more likely to identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.Gallup

Gallup found rises in identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender among men, women, all racial groups, all income groups, and all education levels. The two groups that weren’t more likely to identify as such were the moderately and highly religious.
The findings don’t necessarily mean that the number of people who are LGBTQ has increased over the past few years. Rather, the results may show that people are more willing to be open about their identities now that LGBTQ people are much more accepted in American society. After all, it’s likely no coincidence that the generation most accepting of LGBTQ rights — from same-sex marriage to trans rights — is also the most likely to say it identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.
In some sense, then, the survey can be taken as a sign of progress: After centuries of oppression of LGBTQ people, more are willing to live their lives out in the open.
Originally posted at VOX

December 2, 2016

Hip Hop Singer Andre King Comes Out Gay

Andre King has decided to use his platform on Growing Up Hip Hop to come out of the closet.

The reality star, and friend of Angela Simmons, opens up about his sexuality on the series during tonight's episodes and E! News has the exclusive interview with Swizz Beatz's brother.

"I came to [my family] and I was just honest and I said, ‘You know what, I have something that's been laying on me and I just really want to tell you guys something,' and I just told them that I am gay and just identify as me. They were just really proud of me and happy and they all gave me so much love and just really said, you know, this is big. This is bigger than you doing your reality [show], this is your reality," King tells us. "That felt so good to get the love."

King shared that hearing his family's reaction was a "powerful" moment for him.

"It was so embracive and there was so much love, it felt like such a weight lifted off of me."

The actor and model also explains that his famous brother and sister-in-law Alicia Keys have been nothing short of supportive of his decision to come out as gay.

"I was just so nervous…I said I wish I would've come to them so much earlier and I probably wouldn't have gone through so many things that I've been through and they literally were like, ‘Dre, it's OK, we love you. We accept you no matter what. It's all good. It’s all love.'"

King added, "I'm kind of glad that everything's happening now, everything happens for a reason and timing is everything…I feel like it's a new journey, it's a new chapter and it's just great things. There’s been so much great feedback from my friends, my family and people that just know me. 

I can say it's a powerful thing that I'm doing and people are like you're going to inspire someone else to do the same thing, to come out and just let people know it's OK to be you. It's OK to be different. It's honestly dope to be different."
King also shared that Simmons has been nothing short of supportive throughout this experience for him.

"She is really the reason I'm even on the show. She has been a great friend and a great sister to me. She has been amazing."

And as for how Simmons is handling her newest role, the role of being a mom, King told us, "She's amazing with it. She loves it. I can tell that she is really enjoying motherhood.”

September 28, 2016

Legendary Skater Brain Anderson Comes out Gay

"A part of me was so irritated and angry from holding that in," pro skater Brian Anderson says. "So it made me more of an animal on my skateboard." Jared Wickerham/Getty  
Brian Anderson was named Thrasher magazine's "Skater of the Year" in 1999, the same year he won the World Cup of Skateboarding in Germany. During that time, as he was becoming an icon to skateboarders around the globe, he was hiding the fact that he was gay so that he wouldn't potentially sabotage his pro skateboarding career. 
In a new "Vice Sports" documentary with Giovanni Reda, Anderson discusses being gay publicly for the first time. "Hearing faggot all the time, it made me think at a young age, it was really dangerous to talk about it," he explains while being interviewed in his Queens, New York apartment, later adding that although many friends and family knew he tried to hide it publicly: "I was really scared. People would have perceived it differently if I'd said it 15 years ago."
Reda interviews other pro skaters such as Omar Salazar and Frank Gerwer who describe Anderson as "burly, like a monster," "the most manliest figure I've ever seen" and "badass." And Anderson admits it was his outward demeanor and perception that kept his sexuality hidden to many. "I was a big, tough skateboarder," Anderson says. "They're not gonna question that. Nobody thought anything."
One friend says she saw Anderson "drown his shame in booze," and he reveals that he did have "pent up aggression and shame" that "drove me to do crazy stuff."  
"A part of me was so irritated and angry from holding that in," Anderson says. "So it made me more of an animal on my skateboard."
Despite waiting until now to publicly discuss his sexuality, Anderson says he knew something was different when he was three or four and that he loved Bluto from Popeye cartoons. "I thought Bluto was so perfect with that flannel shirt and that beard; I was all about Bluto," he says. "I like that character, which is funny – because that's what I like now." 
He also says he was never attracted to other skateboarders and enjoyed when cops would kick skaters out of spots. "I was like, 'Yay, I get to check somebody out.' It gave me a smile the rest of the day."
Ed Templeton, founder of Toy Machine Skateboards, says people in the skateboarding community knew for years and when rumors surfaced, he would get phone calls. "The whole industry knew, but people loved Brian so much, it really didn't get out," Templeton says, explaining that he would have thought it was "awesome" and tried to promote Anderson as the first high-profile gay skater (Jarrett Berry and Tim Von Werne came out but were considered more marginal to the sport). 
Early on, Anderson was working 70 hours a week as a line cook and imagined he might go to culinary school and eventually "grow older, peace out and live in the middle of nowhere and never tell my family or anyone." But after he received acclaim, he says he felt more secure, since he had accolades that couldn't be taken away. "I consider myself a skateboarder first, gay second," he says. “I'm a skater, that's all I know."

Rolling stone

August 29, 2016

A Pastor’s Son More Important than Empty Words About Love

Drew and Danny Cortez, on a recent visit with StoryCorps in Cypress, Calif.
The Rev. Danny Cortez is a pastor. He also has a son who recently came out as gay. And when his teenage son came out to him in 2014, he did something more than express his support: He decided to talk to his Southern Baptist congregation about it — even though doing so likely meant getting kicked out of the church.
"That morning I came to church, my blood pressure was super high. I felt so much stress, and everyone was wondering what's going on," Cortez recalls, on a recent visit with StoryCorps. "But I remember as I was speaking, I felt empowered like I hadn't felt in such a long time. I knew that what I was sharing that Sunday was important."
What's more, his son Drew was there in the pews to listen.
"I felt vulnerable," Drew says. "I just remember thinking what was going to happen after this. This is our life now."
At the time, Danny told his congregation about the moment his son came out:
"I was driving my son Drew to school, and he turned over to me and he says, 'Dad, I'm gay.' I remember I just turned around and I hugged him so hard. And I said, 'I love you so much, son.' ...
"And so when I was asked a question recently, 'How does it feel to know that you might be terminated in a few weeks?' I said, 'I'm at peace. I'm at peace because I know my heart has been enlarged.' "
"When I sat down," Danny says in his StoryCorps conversation, "I felt like this weight had just been lifted out of me, and people knew where we stood."

At the same time, he says he kept in mind the fact that his son's struggle has been more difficult than this own. Drew, for his part, says he often felt regarded as a problem — even hearing his name paired with the word "abomination" in the same sentence.
"As a father it was so difficult to hear that, because we felt like they didn't know our son," Danny says.
"There's part of me that says, yes, I want to love people that disagree with me, who disagree with us. But the other part of me now is asking, 'But how can I do it in way that honors you?' "
As a result of Danny's sermon, the congregation split. Danny and other members went on to form an LGBT-inclusive, nondenominational church, separate from the Southern Baptist Conference.
Audio produced for Weekend Edition by John White.
StoryCorps is a national nonprofit that gives people the chance to interview friends and loved ones about their lives. These conversations are archived at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress, allowing participants to leave a legacy for future generations. Learn more, including how to interview someone in your life, at

August 13, 2016

US Ambassador and His Husband Have Become Big Stars in Copenhagen

Ambassador Rufus Gifford and  his Husband Stephen DeVincent at Copenhagen having fun with their fans
We already need a gay President! If crazies can have a crack at it why not a beautiful committed couple that have the smarts and the background to be the leader of the free world and the envy of those18th century backward states that criticize two men holding hands only because of the boner they get and most hide, they are embarrassed by it.  
Lets keep our eyes open for this future event and keep those names somewhere in your computer, just like I do.

COPENHAGEN — American ambassadors abroad tend to be low-profile diplomats who host cocktail parties and try not to make waves in their host countries.
Not here.

Ambassador Rufus Gifford is an A-list celebrity — and even a reality TV star — in this nation of 5.7 million people. On the streets of the capital, the average person knows his name.

That’s because the handsome Gifford, 42, has been a visible presence and an outspoken advocate for gay rights in a country that in 1989 became the first in the world to legalize same-sex unions, and it legalized same-sex marriage in 2012.

His celebrity status was cemented when he starred in his own hit reality show I am the Ambassador from America in 2014. In Season 2 last fall, everyone tuned in to watch Gifford marry his longtime partner, Stephen DeVincent.

Gifford’s life has been an inspiration for homosexual youth, Copenhagen Pride chair Lars Henriksen said. “He has been very open and frank about his own personal story,” Henriksen said. “This has helped to highlight the importance of an LGBTQ-inclusive society.”

Others just like his down-to-earth nature. “Rufus is not afraid to come down from his high diplomatic throne to talk with normal beer-drinking, festival-going Danes," said copy editor Jacob Andersen, 36. “We love to hear how much he likes Denmark.” 

In an interview, Gifford cites his diplomatic achievements — improving already close U.S.-Danish ties — rather than his lifestyle as his main accomplishment. “I think it is our job to help create an element of trust not just with the government but also with the population more broadly,” he said.To promote U.S. values, Gifford has held a series of town hall meetings with students who are encouraged to ask any question, no matter how tough. 

He is active on social media, including Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Before traveling, he polls for suggestions of places to visit. Once he surprised a group of students by attending a birthday barbecue they had invited him to join.
His time in a country such as Denmark, where alternative lifestyles are embraced, marks a long journey from when he was a youth back home and had to keep secret about being gay.

Gifford grew up as the scion of a blue-blood New England banking family. His father, Charles, ran Bank of Boston in the 1980s and was chairman of Bank of America. Gifford said he grew up terrified of admitting his sexuality in public. But his parents were accepting once they discovered his feelings, which occurred when his mother opened a journal of his.

“One of the biggest struggles you have as a young, gay person is figuring out how to be comfortable in your own skin,” he said. “I mean, you would lie in bed at night when you were 15, 16, 17 years old and just figure out if there was some way to escape your body.”
Ambassador Rufus Gifford and Stephen DeVincent at their marriage ceremony

Stephen DeVincent places the ring on Rufus Gifford's finger during their marriage ceremony at Copenhagen City Hall on Oct. 10, 2015. Their tuxes are Ermenegildo Zegna and the rings are made by George Jensen. (Photo: Peter Brinch via the U.S. Embassy in Denmark)
Gifford's TV show covered intimate details of his life and work. It filmed him joining Danish special forces for overnight exercises, visiting Greenland to investigate climate change and traveling home after 12 hours of work.

“To the Danish eye, he resembles a Hollywood film star,” said Erik Struve Hansen, executive producer of DR3, the public TV channel that carried the show. “He has a wide, white smile. He is always upbeat but can also be serious.”
Gifford said he worried that he might lose his job if the show tanked or proved controversial. “It was terrifying, but exciting,” he said.
Some critics say Gifford has taken public diplomacy a little too far. Danish lawmaker Naser Khader of the Conservative Party complained that the country deserves a career diplomat, not a Hollywood star.

Still, I am the Ambassador from America became one of the most popular DR3 programs ever. Last October's spectacle of Copenhagen Mayor Frank Jensenofficiating the marriage of DeVincent and the ambassador in a gold-filigreed chamber in City Hall won Gifford the Danish equivalent of an Emmy for most compelling character.
Now, as his time in Denmark likely nears an end along with the Obama administration, Gifford is pondering his next career move. He said he may run for political office or work as a business consultant.
“Ultimately,” he said, "I have to know that what I am doing is making the world a better place.”

Robin Elizabeth Herr, Special for USA TODAY

March 21, 2016

TMZ Harvey Levin Comes Out Publicly

Although he typically prefers to talk about other people, Harvey Levin, executive producer, host, and founder of TMZ (and managing editor of recently gave a very personal account of what it was like to grow up gay in a new essay shared by the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
Writes Levin:
"When I was a teenager, I found myself in a profound internal struggle – what I perceived as a mandate to live a “straight” life, despite contrary feelings that were welling to the surface.
"I thought I did a pretty good job sublimating those feelings, but someone close to me had a good sense of what was really going on. That person went on with what felt like a homophobic campaign, denigrating LGBT people with epithets and snide comments – without ever confronting me directly.
"That was my first encounter with anyone who suspected I was gay, and it scarred me for many, many years. I tried harder than ever to lead a “straight” life."
It took time, but Levin eventually mustered up (just enough) courage to explore the gay scene.
"When I finally began to experiment, I felt such shame. If I went to a gay bar, I would wait – sometimes for half an hour – just to make sure cars weren’t passing by the front door for fear a driver might see me enter. When I met someone, I would often use an alias so I could easily cut ties. It actually makes no sense, but that’s what I did. Short story, I was a mess."
Levin, now 65, shares this essay with the hope that he can garner some support for the center.
“The Center has been a place of comfort for so many kids and adults who have been rejected or fear rejection by their families. (It has) been the mortar in the LGBT community, often quietly providing a lifeline for people with great value, but who have no support.
"During the 1980s the Center provided care and comfort to our community as AIDS ravaged thousands. The people who provided these services truly are angels, and the Center deserves profound respect and support in our community."
Source Instinct Magazine 

February 11, 2016

Luke McAvoy Ex Lineman Comes Out: “The relief on his face will stick with me the rest of my life”

Luke McAvoy told of fear over telling his Gophers teammates, then relief.
Luke McAvoy knew he was gay in 2010, when he committed to the Gophers before his senior year of high school in Bloomington, Ill. The 6-5, 280-pound lineman shared the secret with his mother that fall. She urged him to keep it hidden, lest he give up his dream of playing college football.

McAvoy was devastated, but he heeded this advice for three-plus years. He kept his secret until former Missouri football star Michael Sam came out as gay in February 2014.

McAvoy came out that week to his closest friends on the Gophers team. Wednesday, he shared his story publicly for the first time with, becoming the first known Gophers football player, past or present, to be openly gay.

“Even now, I couldn’t name you more than seven gay athletes,” McAvoy said in a telephone interview. “And to help someone else have that name to tie it to — so they can see they’re not the only ones — that’s kind of what really pushed me to tell my story more publicly.”

McAvoy, 23, was on the Gophers roster from 2011 to 2014 but played only sparingly. These days, he works as a middle school teacher in Milwaukee, where his cellphone was brimming with supportive messages Wednesday.

Former Gophers punter Peter Mortell said he could tell his close friend had something serious on his mind three years ago. When McAvoy told him he was gay, Mortell replied, “I know, Luke. I know.”

“To see the relief on his face, and to see the weight lift off his shoulders, that’ll stick with me for the rest of my life,” Mortell said.

Mortell said several of McAvoy’s former teammates were surprised by Wednesday’s news.

“I worked out at the complex, and four or five guys came up to me and said, ‘Did you hear about Luke?’ ” Mortell said. “They were happy for him. Everybody was very accepting and proud of what he said.”

McAvoy told Outsport that until Sam came out, before the 2014 NFL Draft, “I don’t think I could name a single gay athlete. … I was not ready to come out publicly at the time and I don’t think the game would have accepted it. The fear that we felt consumed my thoughts each day.”

Only a handful of collegiate or professional football players have come out as gay. The list includes former Vikings defensive lineman Esera Tuaolo, and former NFL lineman Kwame Harris.

Arizona State lineman Chip Sarafin came out as gay before his senior season in 2014. Princeton lineman Mason Darrow, a current junior, also came out in an article to Outsports last September.

Asked why he didn’t come out publicly while still playing, McAvoy said, “I wasn’t the face of the team. The attention shouldn’t be on me. It should be on the people who are out there performing and truly building the team.”

McAvoy told Outsports, “The relief of just two people knowing was incredible. I felt better than I ever had. … I won’t lie and say it was all perfect; some people did not take it well. However, the support, acceptance and love I felt outweighed all the negativity.

McAvoy added: “I have one regret from my time at Minnesota: I wish I came out sooner. The reality was so much better than I ever imagined. … I was surrounded by people who cared and supported me.”

Former Gophers coach Jerry Kill said he didn’t know McAvoy was gay until he read the article. Kill said what he remembers most about McAvoy’s time at the university was how well he represented the football team.

“Luke did a tremendous amount for our athletic department,” Kill said. “He was a great teammate. He’s a giving kid, and that’s why I think he’ll be a great teacher. I’m very proud of the success he’s having.”

While McAvoy played just six snaps for the Gophers, all against Iowa as a senior in 2014, he was an Academic All-Big Ten selection and was president of the Gophers student athlete advisory council.

“It didn’t surprise me one bit that Luke had the courage and the self-awareness to step out of the shadows and speak up,” said Matt Limegrover, the Gophers former offensive line coach. “He is honestly one of the most caring and giving young men I have ever coached.”

McAvoy said the support he’s received has been “phenomenal,” especially since his article was published.

“If I had one message to leave people, it’s that it does get better,” McAvoy said. “The fear, the angst you have, while you’re hiding it — that goes away. For me, I am so much happier now, at least in that aspect of my life, than I was three years ago.”

January 12, 2016

Teen Wolf and The Leftovers hottie Charlie Carver Comes Out


Charlie Carver, best known for his roles in Teen Wolf and The Leftovers, announced that he is gay on Instagram Monday. 

The actor penned a heartfelt essay that was split in a series of five posts with the photo of the inspirational quote, "Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger." 

Carver, 27, has played several gay characters on screen but had not commented on his own sexuality until now. 

"As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things... It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade," he wrote. "Over time, this abstract 'knowing' grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: 'I am gay.'" 

 “Be who you needed when you were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning. I’m not one for inspirational quotes, particularly ones attributed to “Mx Anonymous”- something mean in me rebukes the pithiness of proverbs, choosing to judge them as trite instead of possibly-generally-wise, resonant, or helpful. And in the case of the good ol’ Anonymous kind, I felt that there was something to be said for the missing context. Who wrote or said the damn words? Why? And to/for who in particular? Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason, finding itself likeable enough to join the ranks of the “favorites” album on my phone. I’d see it there almost daily, a small version of it next to my other “favorites”; I’d see it every time I checked into the gym, pulled up a picture of my insurance cards, my driver’s license.... Important Documents. And over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me. As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus... But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade. Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family...

Carver noted that he came out to his friends and family knowing that he was in a safe space with loved ones where his sexual orientation was "celebrated." However, in acting and Hollywood it was more complicated for him. 

"I did not want to be defined by my sexuality," the star continued in part three. "Sure, I am a proud gay man, but I don’t identify as a Gay man, or a GAY man, or just gay. I identify as a lot of things, these various identifications and identities taking up equal space and making up an ever-fluid sense of Self." 

Adding: "As an actor, I believed that my responsibility to the craft and the business was to remain benevolently neutral – I was a canvas, a chameleon, the next character. For the most part I had a duty to stay a Possibility in the eye of casting, directors, and the public. If I Came Out, I feared I would be limiting myself to a type, to a perception with limits that I was not professionally comfortable with." 

But after playing characters both gay and straight, Carver realized the business is changing. Following those LGBTQ trailblazers before him, Carver feels more "excited" than ever to be himself and help others discover their true identities. 

"So now, let the record show this – I self-identify as gay... I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger. And let the record show my twin brother is just as cool for being straight.”

January 5, 2016

The Secret that was no Secret-Has Actor Colton Haynes Come Out??

pic byimgfave

Actor Colton Haynes, has he apparently come out as gay?  You judge. As for me Ive had my opinion about this secret since He was starting to be a real hoot around 2011 and my Gaydar was and is very sharp!
But so we can keep this important subject alive of coming out I’m gladly printing now but waited until it was published in Europe to republish here. 

Colton might be a poor role model or not but the important thing is that there are so many openly gays in our world community. I hope these type of news reenforces the idea that if you are LGBT but particular gay you need to come out. Why particularly gay? Because that’s where the numbers are, and numbers = power! More than power is to live your life the way you are not having to hide something that is just the way you were wired. The more of us that come out now, the closer we get to the goal that it would be no more news and nobody would be interested. You wont have to come out. (*_*) Adam

The star who has appeared in Arrow and Teen Wolf , seemingly confirmed the long-rumoured news on his official Tumblr page when answering a comment about his 'secret gay past'.

Colton quoted a user on Tumblr who wrote: "When I found out Colton Haynes had a secret gay past I got so excited even though I know it makes absolutely no different in my life."

The former Teen Wolf star replied: "Was it a secret? Let's all just enjoy life & have no regrets."

He included a series of emojis with his reply that were as varied as clapping, a party hat, a shocked cat, a frog and a lightning bolt.

The post was quickly seized upon by Colton's fans as an admission, and they were VERY excited.

"Colton Haynes came out on Tumblr. I believe in the miracles of Jesus Christ,” wrote one.

2012 adamfoxie*posting (click or copy): Pics of Colton

Philly 76’ers Elton Brand Comes Out

There is an Elton coming out here in the US. He is learned the importance for most of us, to be out.

According to a report by Shams Charania of Yahoo! Sports on Monday, former No. 1 overall pick Elton Brand is coming out of retirement to sign a deal with the Philadelphia 76ers.

The 36-year-old Brand last played for the Atlanta Hawks before announcing his retirement in August 2015. He holds career averages of 16.1 points per game, 8.6 rebounds per game, and 1.7 blocks per game across 16 NBA seasons. He previously was a Sixer for four seasons, signing a five-year, $82 million deal with the team in 2008 before being waived via the amnesty provision in 2012.

Brand himself confirmed the news with a self-authored piece in The Cauldron entitled “Because I’m Not Through With This Game Yet, That’s Why.”

“The truth is, my decision to return to the NBA isn’t about money, and it isn’t about rings,” Brand says in the piece. “It isn’t even about me, really, although every athlete would like to go out on his or her own terms. It’s about repaying what’s owed, about making sure that the young men who follow in my footsteps get what they’re entitled to (and what I haven’t always given them).

“I wasn’t quite ready to let this part of my life go,” he concludes.

Brand’s impact will be significant for Philadelphia, maybe not in terms of his tangible contributions on the court, but in guiding the fledgling young Sixers to the basketball light. One such player Brand mentions by name is 20-year-old Jahlil Okafor, a traditional back-to-the-basket big man that went to Duke and was selected with a high lottery pick, just like Brand. Okafor has displayed some questionable judgments early on in his rookie season, and will really benefit from Brand’s veteran savvy, both as a player and as a person.

Brand is also familiar with current Sixers Chairman of Basketball Operations, Jerry Colangelo, having played under Colangelo at the international level for Team USA.

The sheer lack of veteran presences to develop their young talent by showing them the ropes of NBA life has always been the fundamental flaw of “The Process” for Philadelphia. Brand certainly won’t turn the 3-33 Sixers around from a win-loss perspective. But his addition to the locker room is exactly the type of move this franchise needs to make in order to get back to a sense of respectability after three seasons and counting now in the gutter.

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