Showing posts with label Anti Gay Gays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anti Gay Gays. Show all posts

February 17, 2017

Even the Most Anti LGBT Manages to Have at Least One Gay Friend

I would like to add something to the tittle, not only homophobic anti gay individuals not only say they have at least one gay friend but anti gay gays actually have a ton of them. (an anti gay gay is someone who stand for everything that would hurt gays in general like opposing gay marriage for all, gay rights and they usually back Trump even though the last one they tend to keep a secret but they will unfriend you if they catch you repeating something Trump said).

 Milo, he knows a few gays. They are readers of his magazine which gave us Bannon and the Trumpets

These days, it’s hard to find a conservative who doesn’t have a gay friend on speed dial.
As heartwarming as anecdotes like this may seem, they are utterly meaningless. There’s no shortage of powerful conservatives who have actively worked against equal rights for LGBT people even while claiming to have gay friends. Ted Cruz, who made anti-transgender bathroom bills a central focus of his 2016 presidential run, held a fundraising event at the home of two gay men. Rick Warren, an evangelical pastor who likened same-sex marriage to incest and pedophilia, once waxed nostalgic about a “wonderful conversation” he had with lesbian singer Melissa Etheridge as proof of his LGBT equality bonafides.
Even Mike Huckabee, who has branded homosexuality “unnatural” and a “dangerous public health risk,” once claimed that his circle of friends is open to the gays.

In fact, Republicans digging up just about any queer person they can to vouch for the fact that they’re totally OK with the whole LGBT thing has become something of a meme over the past year. These days, it’s hard to find a conservative who doesn’t have a gay friend on speed dial.

When questions came up about the anti-LGBT past of Betsy DeVos, whose family has donated thousands of dollars to efforts to repeal equal rights legislation across the U.S., a profile in the Times approvingly noted that the recently appointed secretary of Education went to a gay wedding one time. Trump, who was applauded throughout the 2016 race for being less overtly hostile to LGBT rights than the other Republican candidates, himself attended a same-sex union without burning down the reception hall. In extremely on-brand fashion, the POTUS called the ceremony “beautiful.”

That didn’t stop the president, though, from pledging to sign the First Amendment Defense Act if it crosses his desk — a bill that would make anti-LGBT bias the law of the land.

The false notion that bigotry is magically cured by passing acquaintance with a member of a marginalized community is often referred to as the “friend argument.” Hypothetically, let’s say that a co-worker gets called out for having bigoted beliefs — like that Asians are bad drivers or that gay men are inherently promiscuous. After having his viewpoints criticized, the individual might claim, “I can’t be racist; I have Asian friends,” or “I’m not a bigot; my brother is gay!”

It’s a fallacy, but a surprisingly effective one: A 2016 study published in the Social Psychological and Personality Science journal showed that when a person is viewed as having a more diverse friend group, others are less likely to view their actions as motivated by bias toward minorities.

Psychologists call our ability to hold seemingly conflicting beliefs — such as liking a gay person while continuing to harbor anti-LGBT sentiments — cognitive dissonance, but it’s not as contradictory as it seems. While studies have shown that voters are less likely to cast a ballot against the rights of minority populations when they know a member of said community, that’s not always the case. If a bigot becomes friends with an LGBT individual, he might view them as “different” or “not like other gay people.” Instead of forcing him to confront his deep-seated homophobia, it may serve to reinforce it.

Countless surveys show that more Americans know an LGBT person than ever, including Republicans. If the “friend argument” were valid, that would mean conservative legislators would be passing fewer bills targeting queer and trans populations as they increasingly come into contact with these emerging communities.

The opposite is true: Last year, over 200 anti-LGBT bills were filed at the state level. Advocacy organizations like Lambda Legal and the American Civil Liberties Union have warned that even more pieces of legislation could be considered this year. Just six weeks into 2017, Texas has already introduced nine, including an anti-trans bathroom bill. 

All the gay friends in the world won’t stop legislators — and even seemingly supportive Supreme Court justices — from targeting our civil liberties. Even if Gorsuch isn’t as outwardly intolerant as the man whose shoes he was tapped to fill, he and Scalia have one unfortunate trait in common: They’re both “originalists.” That means that Gorsuch believes the Constitution — which was written in 1787, a time when most Americans weren’t aware gay people even existed — is set in stone rather than a document that can evolve as society changes.

Gorsuch’s originalism has been key in determining how he adjudicates cases. In 2015, he ruled against a transgender woman who lobbied for access to hormones through the Oklahoma Department of Corrections. And despite alleged support for his LGBT colleagues, he also claimed in a 2005 article for National Review that court cases surrounding gay marriage are part of the liberal “social agenda.” This was before Gorsuch became a judge, but it’s far more telling than any personal anecdote.

As any queer person with an anti-gay family member knows from personal experience, having an LGBT friend or relative doesn’t mean that you aren’t homophobic. What makes you an ally of LGBT people is what you do, not who you know. Gorsuch can have as many gay friends as he likes, but it doesn’t tell us a thing about how he will serve as a Supreme Court judge.
Edited Source: LA Times

February 13, 2017

“You Can’t Be Accepted Coming Out”-an AuntMary Gay Conservative


The day after the American election, my ex-boyfriend messaged me to confess that he had voted for Trump. Hillary Clinton, he thought, just wasn’t trustworthy enough, so instead he opted for a compulsive liar and megalomaniac. As a gay man, I was repulsed by the idea that someone I’d once shared a bed with could now be in bed with our oppressors.

Now, another gay man has decided to “come out” (his words) as a conservative, this time in a piece for the New York Post. Chadwick Moore is a 33-year-old journalist who wrote a fawning profile of the out alt-right troll Milo Yiannopoulos for Out, one of America’s premier gay men’s magazines.

Yiannopoulos’ Islamophobia, transphobia, racism, and sexism are well documented, and that an LGBT publication would give him “neutral” (as Moore claims) coverage rightfully angered many in the community. It was met with swift condemnation from within the community, with dozens of prominent LGBT journalists signing an open letter condemning the article and Out’s decision to publish. 

Moore himself took a lot of flack for writing such a flattering piece of someone who has campaigned against gay marriage and is otherwise an equally deplorable human being. He was attacked on Twitter, but to his surprise, it did not end there. “Personal friends of mine — men in their 60s who had been my long time mentors — were coming at me. They wrote on Facebook that the story was ‘irresponsible’ and ‘dangerous’. A dozen or so people unfriended me,” he whinges.  He lost his best friend. People in gay bars wouldn’t talk to him. A guy he chatted up called him a Nazi.

Delicate little snowflake can’t take the heat, it seems.

All of this has led Moore to realise he’s not a liberal after all, but is actually a conservative. Anyone who read his piece on Yiannopoulos could’ve told you that, but apparently it took being criticised for fawning over fascists for Moore to realise his own political predilections. Now he’s standing for far-right gadfly Ann Coulter and hoping that “New Yorkers can be as open-minded and accepting of my new status as a conservative man as they’ve been about my sexual orientation.”

Girl, goodnight.

Conservatism in America has literally killed gay people. Thousands lost their lives because of Reagan’s homophobic inaction on Aids. The Vice President of the United States only two years ago signed a license-to-discriminate as governor of Indiana. The right uses religion to deny marriage equality, housing protections, job protections, and even trans peoples’ right to use a public toilet. Conservative Americans are so homophobic and transphobic that the Foreign and Commonwealth Office had to issue a travel alert to LGBT Britons going to North Carolina. And unlike the British Conservative Party, the Republican Party has made no overtures towards LGBT people, no apologies for past injustices, and no attempt at including us in their vision for the country.
Donald Trump did say LGBT like he was trying to sound out a Welsh place name though, so these Aunt Marys (a term used to describe gay people who side with the oppressor) suddenly want all of this forgiven.

Gay conservatives aren’t welcome in gay spaces because the people they support are an existential threat to our rights and our community. After all, queer spaces (such as bars, bathhouses, community centres, and even bookstores) were founded and instrumental in radical sexual politics and political engagement. You can’t divorce that from the social aspect, because doing so would deny the history of our community and the present reality of so many vulnerable LGBT people.

Asking that the gay community embrace you and your politics is like one turkey asking another to be okay that he voted for the farmer and Thanksgiving. I don’t care if this hurts someone’s feelings; I’m more concerned with the harm their vote causes. So until American conservatism welcomes queer people, queer people shouldn’t welcome American conservatives. Even if they’re queer themselves.

Sorry, Chad. Maybe Milo will buy you a drink. 

January 27, 2017

MouthButtMilo and More than just Gay, Fighter Roxane Gay

 It’s impossible to adequately articulate how much Gay is the antithesis of Milo. Milo rose to fame as the pretty gay male hater of all things gay, of women, of people of color. He was promoted on the pages of Breitbart news–the extremist website of which President Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, who on January 26 told the press to stop talking and stop reporting, is CEO.
Bannon, who has also made documentaries for Gov. Sarah Palin and Rep. Michele Bachmann and equated Planned Parenthood with the Holocaust, also said "birth control makes women unattractive and crazy," said women who feel they’ve been attacked online should just "log off" and said in a radio interview in 2011 that progressives don’t like conservative women because they aren’t "dykes." Milo was built by Bannon and Bannon’s protégé is a self-described white nationalist.

{By the Author:JANUARY 2017: Once more from a hospital bed I’ve been watching the eight years of the hard work of the Obama Administration being gutted by President Trump. My anger is wide-ranging, like that of the three million Women’s March participants. But it is also specific to me and the millions of other Americans fight cancer or other diseases who are about to have their health insurance taken away for no reason other than the Republicans hated Obama and Hillary and still do.}
Last year Yiannopoulos alleged that lesbians had the highest incidence of domestic violence of all couples in an article titled "Attack of the Killer Lesbians!" Another article "Lesbian Bridezillas Bully Bridal Shop Owner Over Religious Beliefs," took the side of shop owners refusing to serve a lesbian couple.
Milo was Bannon’s golden boy. There was no one off limits in his screeds, but Milo’s favorite targets were women (especially lesbians) and people of color (especially anyone Muslim). His writing is transphobic and xenophobic and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. College groups protested him speaking on their campuses while college administrators insisted free speech was at issue.
Currently Milo is on his "Dangerous Faggot" tour, which has brought the "Alt-Right" slithering out, even on college campuses. On Jan. 3, students at the University of California, Berkeley, tried to have Milo banned from appearing. But on Jan. 26, UC Chancellor Nicholas Dirks said Milo had the right to speak on campus at a Feb. 1 event organized by the Berkeley College Republicans.
Yes, Republicans–even the so-called moderates–love Milo because they can point to him as a gay man they "know." They can embrace his virulent misogyny because he’s gay. They can say he’s not a racist because he claims to have sex with black men. They think they can even say the word f*ggot because Milo does.
It has often seemed that there is no one to stand up to Milo. Those of us who have stood up to him on social media have gotten hounded by his many trolls. Those who have written about him have received threats, too.
All of which is what makes Roxane Gay stand out like a supershero from a Marvel graphic novel. She stood up. Bigly.
In these days of The Resistance to President Trump, women are leading the protests. Our protests are taking myriad forms. On Jan. 26 award-winning writer Roxane Gay showed us what democracy–and intersectional feminism–looks like when she withdrew her upcoming book from Simon & Schuster.m
The best-selling author and New York Times columnist announced she will no longer publish her book with Simon & Schuster specifically and only because they had signed Milo Yiannopolous.
In a statement given to BuzzFeed News, Gay explained, "I was supposed to turn the book in this month and I kept thinking about how egregious it is to give someone like Milo a platform for his blunt, inelegant hate and provocation. I just couldn’t bring myself to turn the book in. My editor emailed me last week and I kept staring at that email in my inbox and finally over the weekend I asked my agent to pull the book."
Gay appeared at Indiana University Jan. 25 to a crowd so huge, there were hundreds in an over-flow room. There she explained she could not normalize racism. Gay also revealed–and this is both shocking and utterly unsurprising given who is now president–that Milo’s $250,000 advance is more than the advances for her first five books.
In her statement Gay said she was not calling for censorship, she was making her own statement, which, as she had said in her tweet, she could actually afford to do.
"Milo has every right to say what he wants to say, however distasteful I and many others find it to be. He doesn’t have a right to have a book published by a major publisher but he has, in some bizarre twist of fate, been afforded that privilege. So be it."
Emphasizing that as a well-known and popular writer (and, I would add, much beloved), Gay said she is in a "fortunate enough" position to withdraw her book. "I recognize that other writers aren’t and understand that completely," she added.
Simon & Schuster CEO Carolyn Reidy responded to S&S authors with a letter in which she said in part, "First and foremost, I want to make clear that we do not support or condone, nor will we publish, hate speech," BuzzFeed News reported. "Not from our authors. Not in our books. Not at out imprints. Not from our employees and not in our workplace."
According to Reidy, the decision to publish "Dangerous" was an "editorially independent" one made without the "involvement or knowledge of our other publishers." The book was pitched as an "examination of the issues of political correctness and free speech," Reidy said in the letter.
Reidy explained, "The imprint believed that an articulate discussion of these issues, coming from an unconventional source like Mr. Yiannopoulos, could become an incisive commentary on today’s social discourse that would sit well within its scope and mission, which is to publish works for a conservative audience.” We will need more brave people like her in the coming weeks, months and years. We will need people willing to put everything on the line. We will need people to remind those who can’t stand up that there are heroes walking among us and that their voices can propel us forward.
Gay is the daughter of Haitian immigrants. She was born in Omaha, Nebraska. She has a PhD and teaches at Purdue University. She writes so much it’s hard to keep up with her work.
Gay said she was "putting my money where my mouth is."
Last summer, Gay and poet Yona Harvey were announced as writers for Marvel Comics World of Wakanda, a spin-off from the company's Black Panther title, making her the first black woman to be a lead writer for Marvel.
Roxane Gay is a boss. She fends off haters with aplomb. She makes time to send consoling tweets to women in the hospital and responds to aspiring writers and talks about the movies she loves (you’d be surprised).
And whether Simon & Schuster knows it or not, Gay’s made a statement about them that many of us will not soon forget. 

Victoria A. Brownworth is an award-winning journalist, editor and writer and the author and editor of nearly 30 books. She has won the NLGJA and the Society of Professional Journalists awards, the Lambda Literary Award and has been nominated for the Scripps-Howard Award, RFK Award and the Pulitzer Prize. She won the 2013 SPJ Award for Enterprise Reporting. She is a regular contributor to The Advocate and SheWired, a blogger for Huffington Post and A Room of Her Own, senior politics reporter and contributing editor for Curve magazine, contributing editor for Lambda Literary Review and a columnist for San Francisco Bay Area Reporter. Her reporting and commentary have appeared in the New York Times, Village Voice, Baltimore Sun, Los Angeles Times, Boston Globe, Philadelphia Inquirer, The Nation, Ms Magazine, Diva and Slate. Her book, Coming Out of Cancer: Writings from the Lesbian Cancer Epidemic won the Lambda Literary Award, From Where We Sit: Black Writers Write Black Youth won the 2012 Moonbeam Award for cultural & historical fiction. Her new novel, Ordinary Mayhem, won the IPPY Award for fiction and the Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Mystery. Her book Erasure: Silencing Lesbians and her next novel, Sleep So Deep, will both be published in fall 2017. @VABVOX

This portion of Victoria’s writing  and the entire post on Curve Magazine. As always tittle and editing by adamfoxie blog

November 25, 2016

No Mex, No Asians, No Blacks and Only White Gays



I missed this posting from Owen Jones, who I happen to like and it was posted on the Guardian on Nov 23; I missed it because of the Thanksgiving holiday. I put a lot of importance on this subject of racism and bigotry in the gay community because I have seen it among ex friends and gays I have come in contact with and I find it repulsive and incomprehensible that people that have been victims of racism and bigotry will exercise it on others. Unfortunedly it is true and common. What I don’t see to often is other gays calling it out. 

During the Presidential election it was nice seeing many gays particularly on Facebook calling other gays out that said they were voting for Trump and posting fake news on Hillary Clinton who has been a friend of the community for most of her life and who had committed no crime and the only thing she was guilty of was something that others had done as well in her previous position and it was to have a private server. No crimes but accusation for everything because it was a well planned campaign by the Republican committee and others from Breitbart Alt right magazine and latter the Russian government even before they even knew who the GOP nominee was going to be. 

As I told someone on Facebook, compared to crimes Trump was going to court for and everything else we have seen about him , his character and serious quirks,  Hillary was, is a saint. No question about it in anybody’s mind that takes the fakes news and dumped them and measure the two candidates on the same things we have measured every Presidential candidate before. Even if this man did not mean everything he said and was going to do the opposite like a civilized politician then he is the biggest lier one that cannot be trusted by the electorate or the International community.

 So, there are gays saying they wont vote for her for the same reason anti gays are using. She can’t be trusted and she is a criminal who should be locked up. Every time I ask what crimes, no one was able to tell me anything that made sense or that it was documented. So they were swallowing the line of people that don't like gays. It was easy to be dismayed. As a result of this we have a lop sided election in which the looser gets over 2 million votes more. Not even in Russia would you find such blatantly criminal campaigns to make their candidate win. To me I expect it from the right and even a few gays but not for the numbers I saw. Would those numbers be enough to change the election? I don’t know but my main concern is that the numbers show intolerant racist gays who based their vote on the hard line Trump took on immigrants. Nothing to do on Hillary. They knew there will be no wall but they knew that Trump would at least be a lot tougher than Hillary on immigration and a few other minor  immigrant details like in school and who gets an education. That really hurt and we will all pay the price because our elected officials cannot be better than the people that select them except Trump wont even be any of that because he is not the winner of the majority of the nation votes.


Racism is a serious problem within the LGBT community and needs to be addressed. Despite the determination of many minority ethnic LGBT people to do just that, it is not happening. “How can I be a bigot when I am myself a member of an oppressed minority?” is a prevailing attitude among some white LGBT people. But another far more pernicious reason is that the LGBT world revolves around white gay men to the exclusion of others. The rainbow flag is whiter than it appears.

“I’m sexualised for my skin tone and never treated as a person,” Saif tells me. “The community is trained to accept a white, ‘masc’, muscled gay man and the rest of us are not really accepted or ‘one of their own’.” It’s not the individual he blames, but being conditioned by a community that venerates the “sexual image of a white gay man”. According to research by FS magazine, an astonishing 80% of black men, 79% of Asian men and 75% of south Asian men have experienced racism on the gay scene.

This manifests itself in numerous ways. Some are rejected because of their ethnicity; on the other hand, some are objectified because of it. On dating sites and apps, profiles abound that say “no Asians” or “no black people”, casually excluding entire ethnic groups. It’s like a “bastardised ‘No dogs, no blacks, no Irish’ signs”, as Anthony Lorenzo puts it.

“On apps like Grindr,” writes Matthew Rodriguez, “gay men brandish their racial dating preferences with all the same unapologetic bravado that straight men reserve for their favourite baseball team.”
Homi tells me he has Persian ancestry, and is “sometimes mistaken for being Greek, Italian, Spanish, etc”. Once, at a nightclub, he was relentlessly pursued by a fellow patron. Eventually, he was asked: “Where are you from?” When Homi answered India, the man was horrified. “I’m so sorry – I don’t do Indians! Indians are not my type.”

Historically, LGBT publications been dominated by white men and have neglected issues of race
And it is not simply a western phenomenon. Luan, a Brazilian journalist, tells me his country has a “Eurocentric image of beauty” and there is a “cult of the white man, which is absurd, given more than half the population is black or brown”. Others speak of their experiences of being rejected by door staff at LGBT venues. Michel, a south Asian man, tells me of being turned away because “you don’t look gay”, and being called a “dirty Paki”. He says it has got worse since the Orlando nightclub massacre, where the gunman was Muslim.

And then there’s the other side of the equation: objectification. Malik tells about his experiences of what he describes as the near “fetishisation” of race. The rejection of people based on ethnicity is bad enough, he says, “but it can be just as gross when someone reduces you to your ethnicity, without consent, when dating/hooking up”. His Arab heritage was objectified and stereotyped by some would-be lovers, even down to presuming his sexual role.
When the Royal Vauxhall Tavern – a famed London LGBT venue – hosted a “blackface” drag act, Chardine Taylor-Stone launched the Stop Rainbow Racism campaign. The drag act featured “exaggerated neck rolling, finger snapping displays of ‘sassiness’, bad weaves” and other racial stereotypes, she says. After launching a petition against the event, she received threats of violence. “White LGBTQs who are truly against racism need to step up and take ownership of what is happening in their community,” she writes.

LGBT publications are guilty too. Historically, they’ve been dominated by white men, have neglected issues of race, and have portrayed white men as objects of beauty. Dean stopped buying mainstream gay magazines two years ago. “The only time they would write about people of colour is when they had done something homophobic,” he says. “The gay media is completely whitewashed.”

There has been positive change in recent months, one leading black gay journalist tells me, but only because of the work of ethnic minority LGBT individuals “holding magazines to account, setting up their own nights across the scene” and using social media, blogs, podcasts and boycotts to force change.

While LGBT people are much more likely than heterosexuals to suffer from mental distress, the level is even higher among ethnic minorities. Undoubtedly, racism plays a role. As Rodriguez puts it, seeing dating app profiles rejecting entire ethnic groups causes “internalised racism, decreased self-esteem and psychological distress.”
Many of the rights and freedoms that all LGBT people won were down to the struggles of black and minority ethnic people: at the Stonewall riots, for example, non-white protesters. The least that white LGBT people can do is to reciprocate and confront racism within their own ranks. Shangela, an actor, tells me that racism from the LGBT community “hurts more because it’s coming from people that I’m meant to share a kinship with”.

The far-right movements on the march across the western world are consciously trying to co-opt the LGBT rights campaign for their own agenda. Muslims are portrayed as an existential threat to gay people, particularly after Orlando. There are those who only talk about LGBT rights if it is to bash Muslims or migrants as a whole. American white nationalist websites now sell LGBT pride flags along with the Confederate flag. This week, Milo Yiannopolous – a gay attention-seeker who has become an icon of the US far right – was at the centre of a media storm because a platform to speak at his old school was withdrawn. In the Netherlands, the anti-immigrant right was led by a gay man, Pim Fortuyn, until his assassination. In France, reportedly a third of married gay couples support the far-right National Front.

The struggle against racism has, of course, to be led by people of colour who suffer the consequences – such as Black Out UK, which fights for a platform for black gay men, and Media Diversified, which campaigns for minority representation in the media. But unless white LGBT people – who the official gay scene venerates – listen to the voices of those who are sidelined, little will change.

Being oppressed yourself does not mean you are incapable of oppressing others: far from it. LGBT people have had to struggle against bigotry and oppression for generations. It is tragic that they inflict and ignore injustice in their own ranks.

September 23, 2016

Omar Mateen Went into Pulse to kill Gays Like Him to Impress Gay Hating Dad

Crime Watch Daily has exclusive new insight into Omar Mateen, who shot up an Orlando nightclub, killing 49 people. Mateen's ex-wife sits down to tell her story to Crime Watch Daily's new special correspondent, Kim Goldman.
Sitora Yusufiy has found peace of mind and a new life in pristine Boulder, Colorado, but one thing she’s never able to escape is her association to the man who committed the worst mass shooting in modern American history. Mass-murderer Omar Mateen stormed into popular Orlando, Florida gay nightclub Pulse on June 12 and gunned down 49 innocent souls, wounding 53 others. A bullet-riddled Mateen goes to his grave in a shootout with police SWAT teams. 
Was the New York-born Muslim actually an ISIS sympathizer hell-bent on a jihadi one-way ticket to martyrdom? A self-hating gay man? Or something else?

"He never was sexually interested," said Sitora Yusufiy.

Now finally the one person who wants to set the record straight on what she believes is the motive behind the most horrific mass shooting in modern American history.

 "When I heard that he pledged to ISIS, I immediately know that was nonsense, because I knew Omar," said Yusufiy.

Sitora Yusufiy believes her ex-husband was gay and continually tormented by what she calls his homophobic father, Seddique Mateen. Sitora says Omar lived life in the shadows.
Yusufi tells Crime Watch Daily she is absolutely adamant her ex's pledge to ISIS in the midst of the horror was a ruse. Sitora says he was really just out to win the approval of his dad, who often publicly disparaged gays.
Crime Watch Daily went to Seddique Mateen’s home to ask him about his former daughter-in-law’s claims, but he did not want to talk to us.

Sitora claims much of Mateen's anger came from what she describes as his turbulent relationship with what she calls his homophobic father, who Sitora claims often taunted him about being gay.
Sitora says living a lie triggered the rage in her husband, and before his now-infamous attack, that rage was often directed at her.
Sitora tells Kim Goldman she became a virtual hostage in her own home. Her worried parents drove to Florida to check on her. It was time to get her out. They drove off together after a confrontation with Omar, and Sitora got an emergency ticket to New Jersey the next day.
Sitora now reveals Mateen actually tried to reconnect not long ago. The terror hit her all over again. Sitora says she has never looked back. 
But now for the first time, she is sharing a painful secret: She was once pregnant with Omar Mateen's child. It's a secret she's carried for seven long years. 
"He was happy about it but I told him that if he wanted to make things work, he had to find the courage to come to Jersey to apologize, to do whatever it takes to win my family and myself back, and he never did," said Sitora. "He never made an effort to do that."
Sitora says she made the difficult choice to terminate the pregnancy. 
But out of ashes of tragedy rose a resilient Sitora. The portrait artist has rebuilt her life and is happily married, and the couple is now expecting their first child. 
As for Omar Mateen's father, in recent interviews he has condemned his son's actions, calling what he did an "act or terror." Seddique Mateen has also been adamant that he does not believe his son was gay.

September 13, 2016

JSM*: Homophobia An Impulsive Attraction to Same Sex

Often political and religious leaders who campaign against gay rights are implicated in sexual encounters with the same sex.

Ted Haggard, for example, was once one of America’s most charismatic and powerful evangelical leaders with an audience of more than 30 million people.

Haggard opposed same-sex marriage and gay rights, but was later exposed for paying a male escort for crystal meth. He later admitted he spent years trying to deny his attraction to men and that "if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual".
So, in the study, the group of homophobic men were challenged to prove this theory wrong, by proving that they are straight.


*The Journal of Sexual Medicine published the study, by researchers at the University of Geneva, where they tested 38 heterosexual male subjects for their impulsive approach tendencies toward homosexual stimuli.

"These findings confirm the importance of considering the variability in impulsive processes to understand why some (but not all) men high in homophobia have homosexual interest. These findings reinforce the theoretical basis for elaborating a dual-process model for behaviors in the sexual context."

Okay, some but not all.

However, direct comparisons may be made between this study and another one conducted in 1996.

This study literally monitored increases in penile circumference in response to sexually explicit videos and their conclusion was similar.

"Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies."

So let your homophobic loved ones know, honey it’s okay to be gay because you might be.

August 27, 2016

Anti Gay Gays Made Hollywood and Their Movies Outs Them as Such

When I came out of the closet and declared to my family that I was a homosexual at 19, I had just moved to San Francisco. Not yet ravaged by the Plague, the city was an infamous gay Mecca, still drunk on the relatively recent advent of gay liberation. As an introduction to the city I took one of the “self-help” workshops popular at the time, a seminar particularly attuned to gay men, where a final exercise involved writing your parents to let them know you’re gay. Because all my interest in theater and disco wasn’t enough. Coming out was framed as an act of the Gay Revolution, a passport to freedom from guilt and stigma.

It sounds good on paper. But like so many things, the reality was bracing. My mother’s response was an award-worthy display of feigned shock. “I had no idea,” she wrote back to me unconvincingly before imploring me not to say anything to my stepfather. And while her apparent ignorance seemed preposterous, her idea of gay men was based on effeminate celebrities she’d seen in movies and on TV, like Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde and Alan Sues. None of these supporting actors ever actually declared they were gay, they just portrayed quick-witted men who wore jaunty scarves, not handsome enough to seem sexual or masculine enough to be seem threatening.

However while there are now several popular actors who’ve come out as gay, the most notable probably being Neal Patrick Harris, none of them are seen as matinee idols. A number of leading men still manage a double life, juggling their public image with their hidden orientation. I recently watched the documentary Tab Hunter Confidential in which 1950s screen idol Tab Hunter provides a glimpse into the machinations involved with being a closeted movie star in that era. He gave an interview this week revealing more. Coming out as we know it today was not an option. However, Hunter says how he worked around the complications and even managed to have relationships, including with actor Anthony Perkins who was pursuing his own star trajectory.

And while Confidential shows us an idealized and noble version of how Hunter handled the pressures of being gay, much of what he says is sincere and thoughtful. In particular he’s adamant about how the decision to reveal his sexual orientation was ultimately his alone. It’s a truth increasingly overlooked when people talk about coming out as the worldly stigma is minimized and people become flippant. The consequences may be less drastic but it’s still a personal call.

Recently the young gay actor Noah Galvin, lead in the sit-com The Real O’Neals, was publicly chastised for remarks he made in an interview about fellow actor Colton Haynes. Haynes had just come out as gay himself in a rather subdued way, an act Galvin described as “fucking pussy bullshit” (he has since apologised). His sneering at the milquetoast manner of Haynes’ admission is in stark contrast to the long avoidance by the film industry of the idea there are gay men at all, particularly male actors who hope to be leading men. 

It could seem puzzling that a business that depends so heavily on the talents and gifts of gay people would be obsessed with obscuring the true sexual orientation of it’s leading players and public faces. Usually this boils down to some variation of “the audience won’t believe so-and-so is playing a straight man if they really know he’s gay”. Its an amusing ploy on the film industry’s part, feigning concern over our belief in a hero’s sexual desires while he or she is surrounded by flying dragons and belligerent aliens.

Who, exactly, is this mystery audience confounded by movie leads acting straight? Gay men would believe it. Hell, we’re experts on that grift. I can’t imagine women really care. The ultimate concern of course is that precious young male heterosexual demographic, the one whose buying powers are legend. Just knowing your screen hero is gay could call into question what it means to be masculine, what it means to be yourself, what it really is to be a man who is honest about who he loves. Perish the thought. What would ever happen then?

August 8, 2016

NYC Bar ‘Boot and Saddles’ is Accused of Booting a Trans Person

Mathew Rodriguez posted on internet Magazine MIC  a story about something I would not nor many of others would think, an old institution bar like “Boots” in NYC will be a violator of an LGBT with emphasizes on the “T” civil and human rights.  The story or complaint is between a Trans person and  this non trans-woman mentioned on the story  which if true she had no idea of what LGBT people are and may be she thinks we are just here to entertain her but the sad part is that the staff that night at “Boots” seems to feel the same way if the allegations are true and I am not saying they are,  instead I will repost because I find the story disturbing and will leave it up to you to decide. I’m posting most of the story as it appeared at MIC and there is also a part (with links) with OUT which carries a limited response front the bar and a Facebook response in which they seem to finally address part of what is needed to insure that similar incidents do not occur again. Good signage and education to the staff and particularly the manager or head bartender in charge with a food camera system should easily solve the unnecessary problem. If a person fell on the floor  I am sure there is a system of filling an incident report in case they (establishment) got sued. This type of incident should have the same precedent. As a community we sometimes act like the world is ours because we have been discriminated and somehow we can get away with certain language and behavior that other people can’t. Instead we find law enforcement and the media willing to highlight incidents like this to hammer in that we are not that great people and not deserving of equality. Maybe we are not that great maybe we are but we should be asking to be treated equally with respect and we will equally respect others.

I most add before you read the posting from the Transgender party of allegedly being booted out of the bar because of a bathroom gender-use issue I most caution you that the bar responded to this allegation and said(as you will read below) that the issue was not a bathroom gender use issue but an altercation. 

I am experienced enough to know that the tendency of these type of places is to mix any issue inside the bar in which there is a loud disagreement into the altercation or fight corral or label issue.  I know of people that have been beaten at gay bars back in Miami, Fl. by staff and friends of staff then thrown out with injuries and when police responded  no body knew anything except there was a fight or altercation and only one party is fingered and the other party is gone, disappeared and no body knew them. Leaving the injured person to fight alone the allegation. 

I wish this establishment would have done more to document this issue and the injured party would have taken the time to either bring the police in to file a report or the bare minimum to have witnesses willing to go on the record to document her case. To latter vent about this without thinking what is needed to make a claim believable makes it hard to take either party seriously.  
On Friday evening, transgender performer Valentine Steaphon took to Facebook to share her experience of being kicked out of New York City gay bar Boots and Saddle in the West Village. According to Steaphon’s account, a cisgender woman confronted her as she emerged from the women's bathroom on Friday night. 

"HOLY SHIT!! I just got kicked out of BOOTS and SADDLE for using the women's restroom. WOWW... So like I'm taking a piss and walk out, there stands a cis women eye balling me. Next thing I hear before washing my hands: "WHY ARE YOU IN HERE? YOU DONT HAVE A PUSSY..?!" Me, shocked and RUPAULED: excuse me?! You don't know what's in my pants? You're in an LGBT space, we use the restrooms accordingly. Her: I DONT CARE YOU SHOULDNT BE IN HERE! Me: uh ok, bitch. Chill. I had to pee. 
Her: BITCH?? Really how dare you call me a bitch *storms out the restroom to her friends and the security, whines that she was uncomfortable in the restroom because she saw me in there. 


Security kicked me out... For simply peeing in the women's restroom. I am tired y'all. IM FUCKING TIRED.. This is what we cater to.  Fuck it all I’ve just lost all hope for some of these establishments"
 Steaphon and the woman exchanged words before the woman grabbed a security guard and began to explain that Steaphon's presence in the women's restroom made her "uncomfortable."  

"I think she wanted to fight; she just seemed really angry," Steaphon told Mic in a phone interview. "I just told her that you're in an LGBT space and we use the bathrooms how we want to use the bathrooms here."
She added, "She didn't want to hear it." 
Steaphon said she did not go to Boots and Saddle often, but was there to support a friend of hers who was performing at the drag lounge. 
According to Steaphon, the security guard told her that, "We cater to straight women here, and if you're in the women's restroom and she's uncomfortable, you're the problem, you can't be in there." 

Trans Performer Kicked Out of NYC Gay Bar for Using Women's Restroom
For Steaphon, having to defend herself also meant having to educate those who were
 berating her, including another member of the LGBT community. She said that, as the cis woman spoke
to the security guard, a gay friend of hers berated Steaphon and questioned her gender identity.

 "The girl and her gay friends are yelling at me, saying 'You shouldn't be in there,' and 'Unless

you have titties and a vagina, you should not be in there, you're not trans,'" Steaphon told Mic

 "I feel like a lot of gay guys don't want to hear it. They don't know what makes someone trans."

   She added, “ I was kind of glad that it wasn't one of my friends because I feel like no one should have gone through that.  I was angry, I was disgusted, I was sad, I was confused. I was every kind of emotion in that moment."
Boots and Saddle did not respond to a request for comment from Mic, but they did address the incident with a post on their Facebook page.  
"We are saddened that a member of our LGBTQ community felt marginalized for using the restroom at our bar," the post reads. "We expect that every person who walks into our establishment feels safe and respected. To that end, we are taking measures to ensure that such an incident never happens again. Our signage is being updated to reflect what we have always believed — that our restrooms are gender neutral."

A manager from the bar told Out that the patrons — Steaphon and the other party involved in the altercation — were asked to leave the bar. 
"This is not an incident regarding whether or not a certain gender could use the restroom," the manager told Out
New York City recently debuted a citywide campaign educating New Yorkers that transgender  people are legally allowed to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity. 
Though people may consider New York City a liberal bastion, that has not prevented some transgender New Yorkers from facing discrimination. In May, trans New Yorker Pearl Love shared video of a vile transphobic attack she faced on the subway. 

July 27, 2016

NewsMedia Never Clarified Trump’s Token Gay Who Fights Gay Marriage

If you have enough money you don’t need to care about LGBT every day survival issues. You can make your political decisions to conserve your money alone. Is it right? No, but everyone can only be responsible for the decisions they make for their own lives.  Just because you are gay does not mean you are a good person. The percentage of low down people are the same as straights. Adam
 Peter Thiel, Who pulls the strings?

IF YOU WERE ONE of the estimated 30.3 million people who watched broadcast coverage of Peter Thiel’s speech at the Republican National Convention last week, you would have learned that Thiel is openly gay, a Silicon Valley billionaire, and a Republican.
You would not have heard about Thiel’s moves to secretly bankroll a lawsuit that put the news site Gawker into bankruptcy, or about the Republican party’s extreme anti-gay platform—which suggests, for instance, a rollback of the Supreme Court decision allowing gay marriage. 
Thiel was the first openly gay Republican to address the convention, a worthy fact to share. But to audiences unfamiliar with his story, broadcast journalists gave little detail on the contradictions his presence at the convention created. How the media chose to handle Thiel raises questions about coverage of these conventions, publicity stunts designed to push the party’s platform and keep the attention on a pre-set narrative. What is the media’s goal with convention coverage? Do they have a responsibility to provide additional context on speakers such as Thiel that runs counter to the party narrative?

Here are some examples, via transcripts, of how broadcast media introduced Thiel:
Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly:
Speaking right now, billionaire tech investor and entrepreneur Peter Thiel. Mr. Thiel is the co-founder of the popular online payment system PayPal, and an early investor in Facebook. He also is openly gay, and he will be the first person to publicly acknowledge that he is gay at a Republican convention. Many wondering just how far he’ll go with his remarks about gay rights. And different people hoping for different things.
CNN’s Erin Burnett:
A Silicon Valley billionaire is going to take to the stage here in Cleveland at the RNC, PayPal co- founder Peter Thiel is his name. As I said, Silicon Valley billionaire, he is going to say he is gay and he is proud of being gay. He will be the first speaker ever to openly do so, to declare he is gay here on stage at a Republican National Convention and he is going to come out against the party for refusing to embrace LGBT rights.
PBS Newshour political correspondent Lisa Desjardins:
The lineup includes tech billionaire Peter Thiel, a co-founder of PayPal, and Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin, co-chair of the Republican Platform Committee.
CBS This Morning host Gayle King:
Yesterday, he brought up the LGBTQ community, Q, by the way, stands for questioning, I learned that myself, last night for the first time. People around me going, what does the Q stand for? What does it mean? What does it mean? Were you surprised that he brought that up, especially after Peter Thiel spoke, an openly gay billionaire, that got big applause in the room.
This is not to say that no one acknowledged Thiel’s unusual role. Some made passing remarks about his involvement in the Gawker lawsuit, and many print and online publications dedicated more time to the perplexing issue, but few went in depth to break down the significance of the case.
Thiel put up $10 million to fund a lawsuit against Gawker brought by Hulk Hogan, who was suing the company because he objected to the site’s decision to post portions of a sex tape. Hogan won a $140 million judgment in the case, and Gawker filed for bankruptcy as it appeals. Thiel supported the fight because Gawker published an article that exposed his sexual orientation back in 2007. Gawker’s stance was they were not responsible for outing Thiel because many of his friends and coworkers were aware, and so the news was fair game.
Some conservatives, who view Gawker as a gossipy champion of liberal causes, have cheered Thiel for taking on the site and celebrated its bankruptcy filing. But media watchers have described the billionaire’s actions as a disturbing assault on the First Amendment, and they wonder who he might target next. While few would disagree Gawker is guilty of poor journalistic behavior, it has become a symbol of a shadowy war on the press.
In his speech, Thiel acknowledged he is gay and noted he does not fully support the Republican Party platform, but said there are more important issues that the party needs to unite on and deal with first. He said he supports Donald Trump because he’s “a builder” and a candidate willing to be honest about the problems the country faces. Thiel, though, made no reference to his animosity toward the press, another position he shares with Trump. Audiences without the back story would have benefited from the context. 
   Carlett Spike is a CJR Delacorte Fellow. Follow her on Twitter @CarlettSpike.

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