Family Demands Investigation of the Kid Quiz Comic Suicide and His Friends
The parents of a teenager who killed himself after being allegedly ‘groomed’ by a gay TV comedian believe the star should be questioned by police.
In an exclusive interview with The Mail on Sunday, Steve and Sharon Cowburn expressed disbelief that Scotland Yard detectives failed to speak to the man during the investigation into their son Ben’s death.
And they are ‘extremely hurt and very angry’ he has not come forward to explain to them what happened during 18-year-old Ben’s ‘final, highly disturbed days’.
Ben was found dead in his bedroom at a psychiatric unit on December 20, 2010, after telling medical staff he had been raped by the celebrity, whose identity was covered up at his inquest.
His parents have been told other ‘high-profile’ showbusiness figures might also have been involved.
Police found no conclusive evidence of assault, however, and the comedian was neither questioned nor called to give evidence by the coroner, Dr Emma Carlyon.
Instead Dr Carlyon stipulated that he should simply be referred to as Mr X during the hearing, which ended last month with an open verdict.
The coroner did not make a legal anonymity order, as is usual, and did not give media or the star himself the chance to challenge her ‘informal agreement’ at a pre-inquest hearing attended by police, hospital staff and Ben’s family.
Mrs Cowburn said: ‘When the celebrity was mentioned the coroner said she thought it would be best if we didn’t identify him because it would just cause a lot of unnecessary media attention and that would be distracting.
‘So she said, something to the effect of: “I think we’ll just call him Mr X, OK?" It was plucked from the air.’
Mrs Cowburn said the parties involved all agreed but she now regrets it. ‘Everything we have said and done for years has been aired in court and questioned, we’ve had no right to keep anything back so I don’t really understand why he is entitled to that.’
And Rob Wilson MP, an aide to George Osborne, said: ‘This is a very surprising case as I’m not sure why a coroner would make an informal agreement to keep a celebrity’s name out of the media, particularly where “grooming” was alleged as a potential factor.
‘If there was a good reason for confidentiality, there should have been a proper legal order made. It suggests a different set of standards were used for someone with celebrity status.’
Ben’s parents said: ‘Until we know the full story of how Ben was treated our pain will only continue. The comedian should now do the decent thing and tell us.’
Mrs Cowburn added: ‘Having to learn the details of what was allegedly happening to him in the days before he died is more than any family should have had to endure and we will never forgive those who were clearly abusing him and his trust at such a vulnerable time in his life.’
Ben's mother Sharon speaks after the result of the inquest into his death: His family said they knew nothing about his 'cries for help' until they read through witness statements six weeks ago, on the eve of the inquest
Ben spoke to staff at the Longreach House mental health unit in Cornwall, where he spent his final three months, about sexual abuse he suffered in London. Yet his family said they knew nothing about his ‘cries for help’ – or indeed the abuse – until they read through witness statements six weeks ago, on the eve of the inquest.
They describe the failure by medical staff to act on what Ben told them as disgraceful. ‘If they had listened to Ben things might have been different,’ said Mrs Cowburn.
How the Mail On Sunday broke the story
An NHS report into Ben’s death, seen by this newspaper, lists numerous areas in which his care was inadequate.
It says after the teenager spoke of abuse, ‘no consideration was given to possible safeguarding alerts and when interviewed, staff were either unaware of or misunderstood the... process.’
Outlining the events leading up to the tragedy, the confidential report released today by his family, shows Ben last mentioned the sexual abuse and the comedian to a member of the medical staff 13 days before he died. It said: ‘Unwilling to disclose too much information as the man in question is famous and he felt he may not be believed.’
It was only after Ben died that police were alerted.
Mrs Cowburn said: ‘The comedian should have been interviewed and still should, though I accept it might not lead to any prosecution. I’m sure he would say it was all amicable, that Ben was star-struck and got involved with things he couldn’t handle.’
She added that the comedian and his ‘high-profile showbusiness friends should look to their consciences collectively and come forward to give us some explanation, some idea of why Ben was so traumatised that he took his own life’.
HAPPY AND STRESS-FREE... THE TREASURED LAST PICTURE OF BEN WITH HIS SISTERS ON HIS 18TH BIRTHDAY - JUST MONTHS BEFORE HIS SUICIDE
To his family and friends, Ben Cowburn was a ‘shining star’ and, in happier times, carefree and full of irrepressible fun.
His sister Amber, 20, a student at Cambridge University, says he made a huge impact on everyone he met. ‘He was stylish, well read and threw himself into everything he did.
'He always made things happen, everyone who met him adored him. And he was a great friend to so many, forever listening patiently to their problems. He always urged me to try for Cambridge and he’d be delighted I’m there now.’
Good memories: Amber, Ben, Sophia and Laura at his 18th birthday party
Ben was sports captain of his house at the independent Bolitho School in Penzance where he is remembered for the ‘indelible mark’ he left behind.
Aged nine he attended a Manchester United football summer school. ‘Though the boys were told not to approach the players, he bumped into David Beckham in the loo and got him to sign his shirt. That was typical of him,’ recalled Amber. ‘He was an operator, even then.’
More than 600 people packed Truro Cathedral for his funeral. Amber has toured schools with her sisters raising awareness of teenage mental health issues with the Invictus Trust, the charity set up by his family following his death.
Details are at invictustrust.co.uk
Pursuing his dream of becoming a fashion buyer, Ben left his loving family home in Truro to study at the London Fashion Retail Academy in September 2009, aged 17.
His parents, who run a chain of nursery schools, only felt reassured enough to let him go when his godparents agreed he could stay with them.
‘He loved the course, achieved distinctions and made friends,’ said Mrs Cowburn, a former teacher.
While out with a group, Ben met the comedian in a pub in the spring of 2010. His parents were concerned when he told them the man had asked if Ben would be his stylist. ‘I wondered why a comedian would need a stylist,’ said Mr Cowburn, a former management consultant. They felt uncomfortable, too, when the man said he wouldn’t pay Ben but would buy him clothes instead, on one occasion a pair of £200 boots.
Mr Cowburn said: ‘I looked him up on the internet and saw he was gay. Although Ben was very confident, there was also a vulnerable side, too, and he was only 17. We cautioned him to be careful but he said everything was fine. Ben had been out with loads of girls, and spoke of how lucky he was that there were so many beautiful girls on his course.’
His mother added: ‘But I did ask him if he was gay at this point and said we’d be fine with it if he was.
‘He said he knew we’d be OK but said: “For God’s sake, I’m not gay.” Ben was very striking and was often stopped in the street by model agencies. He said he was sick of people assuming he was gay. But whether he was having any questions about it [his sexuality] at this time I couldn’t say.’
During the summer he was uncharacteristically brusque when his parents asked about the comedian.
In August, Ben joined the family, including his younger sister Amber, his twin Sophia and Laura, the eldest, at a villa in Spain to celebrate their parents’ 20th wedding anniversary. ‘We all had a wonderful time, including Ben. He was fine,’ said Mrs Cowburn.
The unbearably poignant letter from Ben to his mother...
Sorry: Ben's apology to his mother, saying it is not her fault
... and his twin sister Sophia
Promise: He tells his twin sister that he will never leave her and that he loves her
... and to his entire family
Return: Ben says all he wants is to come home as soon as possible
Ben flew back to London to start the new term while the rest of his family returned a day or two later. ‘I rang him when we got back and he sounded weird,’ said Mrs Cowburn. It was about 8pm and Ben said he was ‘sitting on the banks of the Thames’. Then he said he had been mugged, but his mother found his account of what happened sketchy and unconvincing.
‘I was concerned and told him to go back to his godparents straight away. I later learned he went to his room and didn’t come out again until two days later. Ben declined to talk further about what happened, though his mother raised it with a friend after he died.
‘He said a group of them had been out in central London when Ben said suddenly he needed to meet some people, but would only be a short while,’ said Mrs Cowburn.
‘By the time he came back he was shell-shocked, though there were no obvious signs he’d been mugged, which is what he told his friends.’
Mrs Cowburn believes this incident was ‘pivotal’ and fears something ‘much worse happened that night’.
However, Ben appeared to bounce back and told his family he was looking forward to returning to college. On the first day of term he rang his mother at lunchtime.
‘He said: “Hi Mum, I just thought I’d tell you college was great.” He was buzzing and full of it. We had a few quick words and then I said I’d have to go but we’d speak later.’ At 5pm she was back home when two policeman knocked and said: ‘Your son has just been talked down from a railway bridge in Twickenham where he was going to jump.’
‘I have never been so shocked in my life,’ she said.
The following day, exactly a year after setting out to begin his new life, Ben was back at home, where his family set up a rota to ensure there was always someone with him. They also sought psychiatric help.
All he would tell his mother was the suicide attempt was precipitated by something – he wouldn’t say what – he had written in his journal and re-read that afternoon. ‘I said that if you have a journal like that, that’s done this to you, you should get rid of it. We got a new one the next day.’
A short while after they got back she saw smoke coming from the bottom of the garden.
‘Ben was burning the old journal. He told me he was getting it out of his life, “just like you said, Mum”.
‘I stood beside him and gave him a big hug, and said: “Oh Ben, what has happened to you?” He said: “Mum, something terrible happened in London but I’m not ready to talk to you about it. I will tell you about it, but I’m not ready.” I replied: “OK, but it isn’t good to bottle it up so can you please tell somebody? I understand you might not want to tell your mum but don’t internalise it, that’s not good.” He said he would and changed the subject.
‘And then I found out, but not until three years later, that he told the nurses at Longreach what happened to him and not one of them raised it. I can’t believe someone tells a nurse they have been raped and nobody takes any notice.’
Now she believes the journal’s contents ‘might well have explained what happened to him’.
Answers: Steve and Sharon, Ben's parents, are are 'extremely hurt and very angry' that the comedian has not come forward to explain to them what happened during 18-year-old Ben¿s 'final, highly disturbed days'
Soon, evidently haunted by his experiences in London, Ben began self-harming, later making repeated suicide attempts. He was sectioned under the Mental Health Act in October 2010. Too old for an adolescent unit, Ben was taken to Longreach near Redruth, which his parents say failed him completely. Ten days before he died, Ben claimed a member of staff verbally abused him and used excessive force while restraining him and bent ‘my fingers so far back they were nearly touching my elbow’.
He made a formal complaint (which the coroner tried to stop his parents seeing) that was not investigated until nine months after his death.
'So much was swept under the carpet'
Another patient, since discharged, said in a statement seen by The Mail on Sunday: ‘Ben was treated by the staff as a bit of a brat because of his age, his attitude and because he talked about his rights.
‘I felt he was treated with disdain when most distressed.’
After Ben died his family waited more than three years for his inquest, though it should normally take no longer than six months.
‘The delay affected the family deeply,’ said Mrs Cowburn. ‘And when it came the inquest was flawed. The people at Longreach, who Ben confided in about what happened in London, weren’t called. The coroner said we would have our questions answered but we came away with more questions than at the start. So much was swept under the carpet.’
Failed by the authorities, Ben’s family draw comfort from a letter he sent weeks before he died. In it, he says he loves them all ‘so very much’ then addresses each in turn. Some of his words, though, are difficult to bear. His message to Sophia reads: ‘You are my twin and always will be, and I always yours. I won’t leave you kiddo. I love you.’
Comments