The Gay Man Who Threw the Kiss Dead at 45
For 23 years, Quan Nguyen and Bob Tucker shared love letters, poems, a home – and an ambitious statement on freedom in America through a kiss.
They were planning on finally marrying this week. But Nguyen, a former UC Irvine computer analyst and ardent gay-rights activist in the Vietnamese community who garnered wide attention when photographers captured him kissing Tucker during a 2010 Tet Festival parade, died earlier this month. He was 45.
Nguyen was diagnosed with encephalopathy, a degenerative brain disease, in 2009 and his health had deteriorated in recent months. He died of heart failure in his Garden Grove home. About 80 people attended his service Saturday at Peek Funeral Home in Westminster.
“I didn’t think he was going to make it to the end of the year, but I didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly,” Tucker said. “He was stressed and didn’t want to go to the emergency room. I went to call 911, and when I came back he had died, on the sofa clutching his favorite teddy bear.”
Nguyen was born March 9, 1969, in Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City), South Vietnam.
After the fall of Saigon in 1975, Nguyen’s family made many attempts to flee the country. When Nguyen was in the fourth grade, in 1979, he escaped to Malaysia and immigrated to San Jose.
In 2010, Tet Festival organizers allowed a contingent of those in the gay Vietnamese community to march in the Westminster parade, with one condition: that they didn't show affection and emotion, because organizers feared upsetting the more conservative members of the Vietnamese community.
But during the parade, with Tucker clutching an American flag, Nguyen and Tucker kissed anyway.
“Showing a desire for freedom, especially with who you love, is an American idea,” Tucker said. “So we decided to kiss and the photographers caught it. (Nguyen) was very proud of that moment.”
Nguyen is survived by Tucker, 58; his mother, Thuy; his brother, Huy; his cousin Tina; and extended family.
BY CHRIS HAIRE / STAFF WRITER
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