Infidelity in Gay Relationships


On this subject I will speak of my personal experience but I am aware and in agreement about the issue in the gay community. I have read much of the studies to the point that they seem to repeat themselves, but only because there is much truth in them. This is a sincere article that is meant to talk about a subject that we know well, but tend to talk little about it because we are in fear that can be used against us.
 There are also studies that show about about committed gay couples. I have experience both sides of the coin in my own life. I am talking about it now because it’s being talk about by our straight friends and gay and straight enemies. If one would like a a fair conversation in the subject I am more than willing.

First I have to state that the reason for infidelity is a natural one; Which is the reason that many enemies of the gay community have been reluctant to play that coin.  The coin has two faces, in one you have a chicken and in the other you have an egg and the question is which one came first?
Let me explain. When a gay child is born to a couple ( if you believe that the child is made and not born, it doesn’t make a difference in this particular argument), to a couple before 1970.  Regardless of your age you most agree that the chances that this child will suffer from love austerity, marginalized, abused in many cases, made fun of , separated, put down, etc. You fill the blanks.
Can you tell me how easily that child is going to have in keeping a so called normal relationship? We have been a pariah and now through pulling ourselves using our bootstraps have been made whole for people to know us as just people.  People with a different sexual persuasion which does not interfere with straights at all. As we know, people have sex with other people that consent to having sex with them. So is not even a matter of looking different when you understand that most gay and lesbians are invisible and you can’t tell they are unless they tell you.

Despite all of all those odds, you still have gays that want monogamous relationships and want families and want to be good members of society. They have a longing for that.  Many succeed.
The issue of infidelity is a sad one. But is one that will fix it self as society fixes it self in making us whole again. Until every gay child, young man feels that  their sexuality is something as normal as everyone elses’ and more important just as private. Every time I come out as gay I get angry inside. Not because I am in shame anymore, but because is unfair. Straights do not have to come out. If they decide to talk about what they did the night before or how they cheated on their girl friend or wife they do it of their own free will. Which bring me to the subject of straights suffering from the same disease of infidelity.  In my family we were 12.  I’m the only gay male. All my brothers cheated on their wives and had more than one bad marriage or and relationship. My father also cheated on my mom many times. They knew that, you can’t expect from the offspring what your father or mother themselves are doing.

Gay infidelity beyond being sad is a condition. It is real and is a byproduct of the treatment we have received. You can’t judge a person having any type of sex when you tell that person that sex for them is bad. God hates them, religion will kill them, their employer will fire them.
This sad problem will get resolved by out being allowed to marry and I believe that eventually we will make better spouses than straight ones, just like we make better  friends than straight ones. That is the reason many girls love us. I could be married so many times over if I wanted a girl. Im being looked at at the supermarket, at the store, etc. On the other hand, by contrast by someone gay I’m ‘cruised' but only if I look first and give myself away. A bad way to meet partners to meet the other half to me.
The paragraphs below appeared on the Examiner and not agreeing with all that was being said I decided to write on something I know so well. You have links to studies on the subject below.
Adam Gonzalez for adamfoxie*blog

The following is been acquired from the Examiner.com (heavily edited by adamfoxie*):
PHOTOS: Statistics on Infidelity among Lesbian and Gays – a visual account
Research on Infidelity Rates among Lesbians and Gays
In a telephone survey conducted for Parade magazine,researchers concluded
even "committed" homosexual relationships display a fundamental incapacity for the faithfulness and commitment that is axiomatic to the institution of marriage.
Based on statistics from the Parade surveyresearchers found what they described as a “magnum order” of difference in the lifetime rate of infidelity among heterosexual couples, as compared to the rate of infidelity among homosexual couples. See Same Sex Marriage Alert: Shocking Statistics on Gay and Lesbian Infidelity
Data from the Gay/Lesbian Consumer Online Census shows that only 29% of gay/lesbian relationships last more than 7 yearsSee 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End and 40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped
 Research shows that same sex relationships tend to be particularly short-lived, would appear to support Cathy’s traditional marriage beliefs. . See Same Sex Marriage Alert: Shocking Statistics on Gay and Lesbian Infidelity
The statement Chick-Fil-A’s president made to the Baptist Press, the news agency of the Southern 
Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, by authors Michael, Gagnon, Laumann, and Kolata, cites a study of homosexual male couples conducted by gay researchers with same-sex couples who had been together between 1 and 37 years.

Findings were as follows:
  • 100% (all) of the couples experienced infidelity in their relationship within the first 5 years. See 25 Reasons Why Men Cheat
In a study of male homosexuality in Western Sexuality: Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times, M. Pollack found that
"few homosexual relationships last longer than two years, with many men reporting hundreds of lifetime partners.” See 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End and 40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped
Pollack concluded,
“Even in those homosexual relationships in which the partners consider themselves to be in a committed relationship, the meaning of ‘committed’ typically means something radically different than in heterosexual marriage.”
A more recent study on the rate of infidelity among lesbians and gays done by Alliant International University in San Francisco, reported on by Instinct magazine found that the number of gay men in committed relationships who engaged in infidelity has dropped in recent years.
Even though the percentage of gay men cheating on their mates dropped from 83% to 59%, the rate of infidelity among gay males is still exceptionally high. See Same Sex Marriage Alert: Shocking Statistics on Gay and Lesbian Infidelity
The high rate of infidelity among gay and lesbian couples in committed relationships as cited in the studies and research mentioned above, could certainly have caused Chick-Fil-A’s president and NOM to view same sex marriage in an unfavorable light. See Why Women Cheat vs Why Men Cheat- They Cheat for Different Reasons
For articles dealing with other issues of infidelity, see the list below, or visitwww.NationalInfidelity.com





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