TE Quiero! ] Don’t Get 'Emotional we r British'
Most people have experienced that awkward moment; you’ve been seeing each other for a while, dating, hanging-out, whatever you choose to call it. You more than like them, but saying you love them yet is guaranteed to make you both feel uncomfortable and perhaps stop you ever reaching the love stage. So what do you say instead?
The English language is a brilliant thing, allowing us to be as verbose as we wish with a smorgasbord of words to chose from (see what I did there) but when it comes to matters of the heart, our language is perhaps a little off the pace. Faced with that challenging moment of signing a birthday card to a boy I had been seeing for a while, I once found myself writing “I 75% you”. It went down reasonably well, but I have a feeling that was largely due to novelty.
If our amorous language is restricted as we feel around the subject, perhaps it’s time to look at other languages and cultures for guidance. Full-on, over-the-top declarations of love and affection just aren’t our thing and usually just end up in gabbled, ill-thought awkwardness: ‘I really like you, but not like really really like you, I don’t love you or anything. Honest’. Our reticence and sometime inability to emote sentiment effectively was perhaps captured best by Patricia Hodge in Miranda, ‘Don’t get emotional, we’re not Spanish’.
Appropriately though, the Spanish language has the answer. I was introduced to this magical phrase by a Colombian friend who told me all I needed was two words, te quiero. My rudimentary A-Level understanding of Spanish screamed at me that this meant ‘I love you’ and was surely a bit strong and bound to just get me in a whole host of trouble. Apparently, not so. The nuanced meaning of te quiero, I have been led to believe, is something far subtler, softer and more useful.
Don’t get emotional, we’re not Spanish”
Te quiero is perfect for that in-between stage, where you’re enjoying time together. You more than like them, you care about them and want to see more of them. A nice card-leveler that makes your feelings clear in a simple and direct way, not over blown but still sentimental enough to just be on the comfortable side of romance.
So next time you’re in that situation, but not quite ready to take the leap of faith and drop the L-bomb, remember te quiero. Granted, you might need to explain its definition slightly, but it gives you a great chance to subtly have that ‘so er, what are we actually doing here?’ conversation, seemingly as if it’s been brought up of its own accord.
If you’re currently thinking ‘I am NOT taking dating advice from a man who reduced love to a percentage’, don’t see it as advice from me, see it as advice from our Latin and Hispanic neighbours – who are far more renowned for the ease with which they negotiate matters of the heart than we Brits.
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