A GOP Rep.Mom puts Her Family 1st and Backs Repeal of DOMA


FSANTIAGO@MIAMIHERALD.COM

It’s only one step in the legalization of gay marriage on a federal level, but brava, Ileana, brava.
In one of the gutsiest moves of a decades-long political career, Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, a Cuban-American from Miami, has become the first Republican member of Congress to cosponsor the Respect for Marriage Act.
The measure would end antiquated discrimination in the way government defines what kind of gender union makes a partnership legal.
The legislation, sponsored by a Democrat from New York, Rep. Jerrold Nadler, would pave the way to make gay marriage legal within all 50 states by acknowledging that government should not define a couple by their sexual orientation.
Dubbed “Freedom to Marry,” the legislation would repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, passed in 1996, which defines marriage solely as a legal union between one man and one woman. Ros-Lehtinen, whose political career has taken her from the Florida Legislature to the U.S. Congress, was one of 342 members of Congress who voted for that anti-gay measure.
But what a difference 15 years and parenting a child who is a member of the gay, lesbian and transgender community has made. In the last several years, Ros-Lehtinen has become a significant advocate of gay rights and her leadership, advocates say, has been crucial.
For Ros-Lehtinen, the move has been gradual, thoughtful, and painfully personal. Her daughter Amanda publicly came out as a transgender man named Rodrigo; he’s field organizer for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
On Friday, Ros-Lehtinen’s approach to her sponsorship was low-key. She declined to give interviews on her evolution on the issue of gay rights, saying she had too full an agenda, and her office didn’t issue a press release on her sponsorship of the bill but pointed to the release of others announcing it.
You see, she still has a conservative constituency to represent.
Although the views of many Cubans have evolved and modernized when it comes to gay issues, she comes from a culture that, at best, when it supports its gay members subscribes to the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” motto and, at its darkest, takes secrecy so far that some gay men and women marry each other to keep the peace in families. They suffer in private the pain of rejection from loved ones and they put up a conservative public persona because, otherwise, what would our beloved viejitos say?
That out-of-sight, out-of-mind way of survival in Cuban Miami is one of the reasons why, although a large percentage of the gay and lesbian community is Cuban, few Cuban-Americans are in public leadership roles in gay advocacy groups.
It’s why community leaders who are gay go to great lengths to hide relationships and stay in the closet. Some people are comfortable in the closet, and it’s their right to remain there, but others live in constant alienation and pain.
It’s about time Congress came together on at least one of the country’s high-profile, ridiculously divisive issues and ended the marginalization of people who are only asking to legalize unions that are as strong, and in many cases stronger, than traditional man-woman marriages.
Ros-Lehtinen can be the bridge that turns fear into compassion, half-hearted acceptance into an unconditional embrace. Her role is a welcomed sign of true and rare leadership, and her change of heart on gay marriage is also a story about what our children teach us about humanity.
A mother’s love is a powerful force for good. It certainly makes one a better legislator.
 


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