Attack on $80 MiLL 1899 Painting Because It LOoked ToO GaY


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Boob paintings: allegedly kind of gay.
Paul Gauguin’s 1899 painting, “Two Tahitian Women” got served by 53-year-old Susan Burns! Oh snap! Burns reportedly attacked the painting of two bare-breasted women with her fists in the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C. and attempted to rip the painting down off the wall before a fellow museum-goer tackled her to the ground.
‘She was really pounding it with her fists. It was like this weird surreal scene that one doesn’t expect at the National Gallery,’ Pamela Degotardi, a witness to the incident, told The Washington Post.
The 1899 painting, Gauguin’s ‘Two Tahitian Women,’ depicts two native women carrying fruit and flowers, one with both breasts exposed, the other with one exposed.
According to a criminal complaint filed in Washington, D.C. Superior Court, Burns said that the painting is ‘very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned … I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.’
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Susan Burns told police she has a radio in her head.
Aaand suddenly this story takes a pretty sharp turn, eh?
Burns, who has seen her fair share of legal troubles after convictions for carjacking, disorderly conduct, trespassing, and assault on a law enforcement officer, pleaded not guilty to charges of theft and destruction of property because, you know, the painting was sort of lesbian-ish. Best of luck with your defense, lady!
The painting, which is on loan New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, was thankfully saved by the brave museum crazy-tackler. $80 million is a lot of overtime hours.


 by Kevin Farrell

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