John, Joan - Or, A Letter of Difference

By Guest 

This guest blog is from Nora, a Minnesota resident who is also the American half of a binational couple.

What could change that much with a difference in one letter of the alphabet? Nothing less than my whole world.

For my first 40 years I was straight, married to John, an employee, mother, daughter, sister and friend.

At 51 I've come out as gay, have a partner - Joan - and am still an employee, mother,daughter, sister and friend.The essence of who I am remains the same, yet my government strenuously disagrees . . . especially when it involves the subject of same sex binational couples and immigration.

Our democracy that is rock solid concerning liberty and justice for "all" does NOT extend to me, at this moment, simply because I chose to be true to myself and picked honesty over denying my authentic being. I cannot sponsor my partner because she is a woman. Realize that there would be no problem if I was in a relationship with a man. Nothing else has changed about me except whom I love.

It's really not more complicated than that. My government deems it necessary to discriminate against me solely on the basis of whom I love. Yes ideed, after the national anthem is played and the reciting of the pledge of allegiance is finished, there continues to be glaring exceptions in the land of the free and home of the brave.

Pertaining to same sex partner immigration rights, we need not only a change of law,but a change of heart. Immigration laws are tough to understand even if you're involved with them on a regular basis, but trying to explain my particular situation is also challenging because either people don't know there's a problem with same sex sponsorship of partners or they're unaware that it's a federal law - and not a state law - that dictates what I am legally allowed to do.

I've tried appealing to your head, your heart, and sense of fair play. I'm asking you one human being to another, look inside where compassion resides and reflect on the principle of equality for which America stands. I trust that if the American people truly knew the reality about this injustice they would make it right. No less than 19 countries welcome binational couples. Even in North America - Canada to the north and Mexico to the south - many of our neighbors already recognize same sex couples as equal under the law.

Why can't we? It's 2011 for goodness sake!

Please help me change this travesty. Our country (yours and mine) isn't so fragile that my equality could ever endanger it.

I only wish to contribute to my country, cherish my country and LIVE in my country, with my loved ones.