'Dexter' stars Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter file for Divorce

by Dan Snierson

•  t

Image Credit: WireImage.com (EW exclusive)After nearly two years of marriage, Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, 39, and Jennifer Carpenter, 31, are getting a divorce. An exclusive joint statement to EW from their representatives read: “Having been separated for some time, Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall have filed for divorce.” Both reps add that the split was amicable. The couple — who met on the set of the Showtime drama, in which she plays his foster sister — married on December 31, 2008. Hall completed treatment for Hodgkin’s lymphoma earlier this year.

She Pepper Sprayed The Man Who Trans-Bashed Her. He Happens To Be A Cop

Chloe Alexander Moore, a 25-year-old D.C.-area trans woman, was arrested last week for discharging her pepper spray into the face of a man who verbally and physically assaulted her in the early morning hours. Oh, the man was an off-duty police officer? And he might be the one who's at fault?

Raphael Radon is under investigation by Internal Affairs for allegedly instigating the assault on Moore (not pictured),reports the Washington Blade. Moore, who is charged with simple assault, pleaded not guilty. And from her account — which appears to be backed up by classified reports, which include witness statements, leaked to the Blade — it sounds like she isn't.

Moore told the Blade the incident began when she and a female transgender friend were walking along the 1500 block of K St., N.W., and crossed paths with the man later identified as Officer Radon. Moore said Radon was with two friends, a man and a woman. “We didn’t have a lighter and we see a gentleman who had a cigarette lit,” Moore said. “My friend goes and asks for a light and he said, ‘Hey ladies, how you doing?’ And we said we’re doing fine.”

According to Moore, as Radon got closer to the two he realized they were transgender. “He was like, ‘I’m not going to give you a light because you’re a man,’” said Moore, who added that Radon suddenly became hostile and began making disparaging comments about her appearance, especially the dress she was wearing. “He said he could see my dick and my balls. And he was very hostile and angry and I was afraid of what he would do and then he pushed me,” Moore said. “Not knowing if he was going to really hurt me I got real scared and in self-defense I pepper sprayed him.”

Moore said she immediately ran from the scene, with Radon chasing after her for nearly two blocks. "He grabbed the back of my neck and he throws me on the ground,” Moore said. “My midsection was on the curb and he puts his knee in my back real hard, and it caused a lot of pain.” It was at that time, according to Moore, that Radon pulled out his badge and identified himself to her as a police officer. Within seconds, she said, uniformed, on-duty police officers appeared on the scene. Minutes later she said she was placed in handcuffs and a short time later placed inside a police car. “We stayed out there about three hours after it occurred, waiting to see what was going to happen,” said Moore. “The police were talking among themselves and trying to make up their minds what they were going to do.”

Radon's version goes like this:

The report gives Officer Radon’s account of what happened, saying he told an officer responding to the scene that he was approached by “two transgenders who engaged him and [Witness 1] and [Witness 2] in conversation.” According to the report, Radon said the two transgender women asked him for a cigarette light and then asked him where he was going. “It’s unclear which witness pointed across the street to a club,” the report says. “[Moore] then stated, ‘We have everything better than where you’re going for $10,” the report said Radon told officers at the scene.

“Officer Radon then told [Moore], ‘No thank you, I am not into guys.” “And told [Moore] ‘You don’t know who you’re talking to,’” the report says. “[Moore] then pulled out a can of pepper spray and sprayed Officer Radon in the face. Officer Radon then pulled out his MPDC credentials at which time [Moore] ran [eastbound] on K Street,” the report says. “Officer Radon gave foot pursuit and then an apprehension was made in the 1400 block of K Street. Both Witness 1 and Witness 2 collaborated [Radon’s] statements,” the report says.

We can already see how this is going to play out: Radon's attorneys will try to discredit Moore, who was arrested last month on prostitution charges (that she's contesting) in an area known for its trans sex workers. Radon will also enjoy some level of protection from his boys in blue. But statements from witnesses will certainly have the most damning effect on Radon's version of events. So let's expect an administrative slap on the wrist, some desk duty for a few weeks, and Moore's earlier prostitution charges dismissed so this all goes away.

www.queerty.com

How Three Decorated Gay Veterans Are Working to Overturn "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

What do Michael Almy, Anthony Loverde, and Jason Knight have in common? The three are decorated veterans from the U.S. military, all discharged under the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. And now all three have joined with the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) to challenge the constitutionality of the military policy that continues to prohibit openly gay and lesbian soldiers from serving.

If there are three examples of how "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" harms the U.S. military and threatens our national security, Almy, Loverde and Knight are it. Almy was a 13-year veteran who saw four deployments to the Middle East. He received numerous awards and honors during his time in the Air Force, but that wasn't enough to stop him from being discharged in 2006 for being gay.

Loverde served in the Air Force for seven years, as a trained C-130 Loadmaster and Precision Measurement Equipment Laboratory Technician. In 2008, he was booted from the U.S. military because he's gay. Now? He works for a defense contractor doing essentially the same job he did for the military, even working with some of his old coworkers. Yet the military wouldn't allow him to be part of their institution because of his sexual orientation.

And then there's Knight, who served for five years in the U.S. Navy. Think his job was important? Yup, sure was. He was a trained Cryptological Technician Interpretive Linguist, the type of position that many would probably consider critical for the success of U.S. operations abroad. Yet Knight was discharged in 2005 for being gay. Believe it or not, he was then recalled in 2006, and then subsequently discharged again in 2007 -- a double whammy of discrimination.

Now these three, along with SLDN and the law firm Morrison & Foerster LLP, are challenging the constitutionality of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in a California federal court. It's a reminder to the U.S. Senate that if they fail to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the few short days before the body breaks for the holidays and a new Congress takes over, they'll leave the fate of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" up to the courts and an aggressive litigation strategy by repeal advocates.

"This filing is a shot across the bow as we prepare to pursue and sustain an aggressive far reaching litigation strategy if the Senate fails to act this month to repeal the law.  This dispute can be resolved by Congress or by the courts.  With this filing we put Congress on notice that a cadre of service members and our national legal team stand ready to litigate strategically around the country," said Aubrey Sarvis, the director of SLDN and himself an Army veteran. "We are also preparing litigation on behalf of young people who would enter the armed forces to serve our country but for this terrible law.  Another suit we’re working on involves clients discharged under ‘Don’t Ask’ who want to enter the reserves or a guard unit, and we plan to file such cases early next year if Congress fails to act.  Clearly there is an urgent need for the Senate to act on legislation this week.”

Talk about putting Congress's feet to the fire. Sarvis's call echoes that of Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who expressed dissatisfaction and disappointment last week after the U.S. Senate punted on a repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." As Gates said, and as Sarvis echoes here, Congress can step up to act, knowing full well that three-quarters of the country support a repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," as well as an overwhelming number of people in the military. Or they can pack up and go home for the holidays, and leave the future of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in the hands of the courts.

Photo credit: U.S. Army

by Michael A. Jones gayrights.change.org

Did Air New Zealand Drop the Ball?

Air New Zealand's decision to pull a “gay non-kiss” scene from an in-flight safety video has divided the gay community, with some people asserting we should lighten up and others arguing the airline is right to wipe the segment.

The airline deleted the scene where All Black pin-up boy Richard Kahui turns down a gay flight attendant's request for a kiss on the cheek, after receiving a number of complaints last week. Air New Zealand says there has also been concern from a university professor that the scene in "Crazy About Rugby" could lead to gay male suicide.

The kiss denial comes just after Kahui is seen giving a female attendant a kiss on the cheek, posing for a picture she snaps on her cellphone camera.

When a smiling gay male flight attendant taps his cheek for a kiss, the All Black centre shakes his hands in the air and walks off in mock horror.

Air New Zealand says the video has been a phenomenal hit. It says when it created the video and discussed it with key stakeholders, including a number of the gay community, it received none of the feedback it has in the past week.

The national carrier decided to ‘opt on the side of caution' and pull the scene rather than doing further research, as it only has seven weeks left to run.

Longtime Wellington-based gay rights campaigner David Hindley is surprised at Air New Zealand's decision, saying it's a sign of maturity that you can laugh at yourself.

“And one of the things that you have to laugh at is the relationship that we have, between gay men and straight men. And just the tensions there. I think that's a really good field to get some humour out of.”

Hindley says there is absolutely no ill-will in the ad. “I think the whole thing is designed to be funny and is good natured. I thin we've just got to grow up and be able to laugh at ourselves,” he says.

“It's kind of disappointing that with these sort of things there's always somebody who seems to get upset by them and that's a bit of a pity.”

The flight attendant who features in the clip William Coxhead is “absolutely gutted” and says the gay community needs to lighten up.

Gay comedian and diversity expert Philip Patston agrees, saying while the scene is not a gay rights fantasy, it does depict a gay man playfully trying it on with a bastion of heterosexuality.

“I think Kahui actually comes off looking unnecessarily prudish,” Patston says.

“I hate the term "political correctness", but if this is PC, then it's gone bad now, not mad. There's an important opportunity lost in not showing this scene, because it demonstrates a way for straight men to non-violently deal with their homophobia - by turning away.”

Out former Black Fern and Labour's new Manurewa candidate Louisa Wall is not personally offended by the scene, but says if others in the gay community have taken offence and have a legitimate reason, then that's up to them.

“I found it cheeky – and he is a hunk,” she says of Kahui, agreeing. “They wish, it's almost like. And it's fine. And it's also fine for him to say ‘nah, that's not me'.”

Wall believes it's positive when issues of sexuality are normalised. “It's ok to ask but it's also ok to say no. And in that cheeky way I also thought it was all positive to have that in a video like that, because it helps to normalise sexual expression – and in public places.”

She wishes the scene had remained. “I think it does help to break down barriers and just make it part of a normal diet of ‘it happens in society'.”

Wall points out that there have been cases in New Zealand where gay men have been killed because they have hit on a straight man, “So it was fine for Richard Kahui just to cheekily say ‘nah',” she says.

Gay Wellington Central MP Grant Robertson, who is an avid rugby fan, says although he has viewed the video many times without taking offence, he commends the airline for acting responsibly.

"I took it in the spirit of fun. But I can certainly understand some people might be concerned about it. Air New Zealand are behaving responsibly here. It is their decision," Robertson told the Dominion Post.

Rainbow Youth Executive Director Tom Hamilton says while the scene is light-hearted, there needs to be positive reinforcement in the media. “For young people, if you've got constant, subtle homophobic and transphobic commentary coming at you all the time and then you see what is seemingly seen as a gay role model by Air New Zealand trying to grab a kiss from a rugby player and the All Black's reaction being disgust, it could be the final straw for them.”

Hamilton questions why an ad with only one aspect of queer culture included can't have a positive result. “Can't it be a gay couple on a plane going on a honeymoon?”

He believes Air New Zealand should have reacted more strongly to initial complaints when the video was released months ago, saying he knows of complaints which were dismissed by the airline.

“Our young people are reacting to their identities not being recognised through these really intense things, like self-harm and overdosing and drug and alcohol issues. So large organisations who ignore our comments, or ignore the negative ones and only focus on the positive ones – that's not really helpful.”

Hamilton says obviously Air New Zealand should have done more research in the first place as the members of the GLBT community it asked about the ad did not reflect the community's tremendous diversity.

“The queer community's really, really diverse, so we need people like Air New Zealand to be really focused on finding ways to encompass that diversity.”

Hamilton agrees the range of responses to the scene being pulled reflects that diverse range of opinions and people in queer New Zealand.

“You're not just dealing with one perspective,” he says. “Basically I think that Air New Zealand didn't do a good enough job of clarifying that one joke. I don't think it's really fair to turn around and say ‘well it's the gay community's fault, lighten up',” he says. “My job is not to lighten up. Our jobs aren't to be too light about it because we see the other side.”

Hamilton says aside from the reality of GLBT youth being overrepresented in suicide and self-harm statistics, something like telling your parents you are different can be made so much harder when there are constant jokes aimed at GLBT people in the media.

“We see it all the time, on The Edge or other radio stations, always in the media there's a negative connotation to being queer. If you want to be supportive of the queer community – put a positive in there, that's all I'm suggesting.”

Posted in: Community
By Jacqui Stanford -

Link to view video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f1awn9vBZE

Rachel Maddow: A Portrait of Courage and Self Discipline

I watched Rachel Maddow's recent interview with David Bahati, sponsor of Uganda's legislation to give life    confinement or the death penalty to homosexuals (which Rachel calls the "Kill the Gays Bill") with my mouth wide open the whole time. I was in disbelief.

Firstly, I found it amazing that she got him to come in for an interview. Secondly, I couldn't believe someone could still feel that way about gays and even more remarkable, I was amazed at how Rachel kept her composure while her guest kept posturing about how he was doing it for the "children."

Bahati was spouting this theory that homosexuals in Uganda were "recruiting" children in the schools. Maddow calmly told him this type of reasoning has been used for years around the world and there has never been any proof that it is true. She asked him to send her videos or testimonials to back up his claim and he said he would send them to her (she has yet to receive any of his evidence.)

Prior to the interview, Rachel showed clips of American Evangelists such as the Rev. Jerry Falwell in the 1970s declaring of homosexuals: "They can't reproduce, so they recruit." Where have we heard that before?

Maddow to me is a profile in bravery because she is taking on an issue no one else in cable news will touch. Of course, for her it's personal. Some may say because she is openly gay that she is biased. I say that is a good thing. Others may say it's an Ugandan problem that the United States should not pry into.

In truth, as shown in Rachel's past enlightening reporting about the "Family", a group of Christian politicians that live on C Street in DC, there is a connection. In fact, as revealed in Jeff Sharlet's book The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, David Bahati is an Ugandan "Family" member.

It's true that some U.S. religious leaders such as Pastor Rick Warren have condemned the Bill as going too far. But have all these years of sending Christian missionaries to developing nations helped propagate the myth that homosexuality is a sin that can be taught to children?

That belief seems to be what Bahati espouses. He said his bill was "God's Law". When prodded by Rachel about what God's punishment was he said that homosexuality was a sin and that the "wages of sin is death." (Although later he said he was taking out the execution part of the bill and only leaving life imprisonment.)

This is scary stuff. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I could not have held my temper if I were interviewing him. But that is me and Rachel Maddow is Rachel Maddow. She, as a model of self restraint, was cool and collected and corrected him several times when he said he was not Hitler or Saddam Hussein by telling him "let's be clear, I never accused you of that."

This issue is personal for me too because an in-law accused me of turning her teenage sons gay. I never even spoke to them about me being a lesbian and they deny that they are gay, but somehow she has this notion that I influenced them. Not only that, she called me all kinds of names: dirty, freak, and pervert.

Both she and Bahati seem to be removed from reality and science. Homosexuality is no longer considered a mental illness and there have been studies done that prove being gay is genetic. But we gays already knew that. Because I wanted to be considered "normal", I tried for years to be straight to no avail. I am much happier and at peace now accepting who I am.

So this notion of "recruiting" is so off-base as to be ridiculous. And as for God and the "natural" argument: besides it being natural for me to be gay, there have been studies that show many animal species practice homosexuality. I suppose my sister in-law and David Bahati would consider giraffes "sinners."

Maddow told Bahati that if the bill passes, Uganda will be considered a rogue nation going against the trend of the rest of the world and that he may be held accountable by the global community.

I am thankful to Rachel Maddow for having the courage to stand up for the truth and the self discipline to keep her cool in an infuriating interview. To me the wages of ignorance is this type of bill and it is up to all of us, gay and straight, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Atheist to join Rachel Maddow in speaking out against it.

by 

Joan E. Dowlin

Freelance musician and French hornist  posted at www.huffingtonpost.com

Dave Kopay The Former NFL Player Remains an Outspoken Advocate for Gay Rights

He has had four major knee surgeries, courtesy of nine years in the NFL as a running back and special teams ace with San Francisco, New Orleans, Washington, Detroit and Green Bay. He is also recovering from a total left hip replacement this summer to relieve agonizing pain he endured the past four years. But Kopay, who turned 60 on June 28, is still very opinionated and a forceful advocate for gay rights. 

“I say what I want to say,” says Kopay from the den of his beautiful home in the Larchmont section of Los Angeles, surrounded by memorabilia from his days as a star at the University of Washington and in the NFL. Along with five NFL helmets, an autographed football and framed newspaper clippings sits a Tinky Winky doll and a cardboard “Old Queen” crown, a gag gift from friends on his 60^th birthday. 

Kopay, whose 1977 coming-out autobiography “The David Kopay Story” was a New York Times bestseller and is in its fifth printing, can wax forcefully on a variety of topics, with anger, empathy, bluntness and humor. He can bounce from Herman Hesse to Jerry Falwell to Brett Favre without missing a beat. Some of his unvarnished observations:

• On former Green Bay Packer and outspoken homophobe Reggie White: “He’s an idiot …. I’d love to be on Bill O’Reilly’s [cable talk show] with Reggie White."
• On Dan Devine, who coached Kopay when the Green Bay Packers won the 1972 NFC Central title but lost 16-3 in the playoffs to Washington: “He was pitiful … the worst coach I ever played for.”
• On Martina Navratilova: “She’s always been my hero. She’s been out there and always stood up for herself.”
  On finding acceptance from the Episcopal Church: “I get a deep-seated love from them. It’s incredible. This is what I need.”
• On gay activists who claim very little progress has been made: “Bullshit. Are you kidding me? We’ve made huge progress.” 

Kopay has come a long way since his days as a pro from 1964-72. He talks with an obvious sadness about the isolation and self-loathing he felt when he was coming to grips with his homosexuality.  

“The biggest fag-haters I know are the ones who are most confused and I was one of them,” he said. 

It’s hard to imagine that this is the same man who became an outspoken champion of gay rights over the course of 25 years, appearing on numerous radio and TV shows and in newspapers and giving hundreds of speeches. He remains one of the handful of professional athletes who have come out. He still gets mail and phone calls from people who have been touched by his book. Kopay’s message through the years has remained constant: Be yourself. 

“I always let [audiences] relate to me as an athlete and as a man,’’ said Kopay, who added that young people most identify with his plea for fairness in the treatment of gay people. 

Fairness is a common theme with Kopay and it’s obvious he never felt he was fairly treated by football once he came out. He is angry that “there never was a shot for me” in coaching, though he admits his pride and struggles with his homosexuality played a big part at the time. He is also angry that the “NFL has totally run away from me,” instead of acknowledging the positive contributions he has made for gay rights. Kopay added that he would jump at the chance to be a diversity speaker for the league. 

Kopay agrees that sports still lag behind the rest of society in its acceptance of gays, “ but that we are making progress.” He is blunt when asked how straights could co-exist with openly gay teammates in lockerrooms: “We’ve been trained since we’re very young to not pay attention to other men. …. Why is it that every heterosexual man thinks every gay man wants his ass?”  

Kopay was heartened by the generally favorable coverage this spring over rumors of Mike Piazza’s sexualityas one sign of progress. He also quoted former San Francisco 49er coach Bill Walsh as saying that if one of his players had come out it would have been a big story for four or five days and “after that I don’t think there’d be a problem at all.” 

Instead of coaching, Kopay forged a successful career for the past 20 years at Linoleum City in Hollywood, owned by his Uncle Bill, where the ex-player is the principal buyer for TV and movie studios. Kopay is single and laments that his image “got in the way of my romantic life.” Once he fully recovers from his hip surgery, which requires him to use crutches, Kopay looks forward to golfing and just walking along the beach. 

Kopay, who at 6-feet and 213 pounds is seven pounds below his playing weight, is working with a screenwriter on a film treatment of the “David Kopay Story.” It will center on his relationship with tight end Jerry Smith while both played for the Washington Redskins in 1969 and 1970. Smith died of AIDS in 1987 while never publicly admitting his homosexuality. To honor Smith’s desire for privacy, Kopay never mentioned him by name in the book, though he was a catalyst in Kopay’s coming out. 

Smith “was my first major [gay] experience and the first person I thought I could love,” Kopay said.

His love for Smith and his love for football are evident, and Kopay realizes his sport gave him opportunities and experiences he could have gotten in no other profession. 

“There’s nothing like running out on a Saturday afternoon before 72,000 in Husky Stadium. There’s nothing that will ever fill that void. There’s nothing like the rush of playing on Monday Night Football. 

“I would do it again.”

NFL

FIFA Chief Sepp Blatter: If Gays Fear Qatar's Homophobic Laws, They Should Abstain During World Cup

With Qatar being awarded the 2022 FIFA World Cup, there's warranted furor over the Arab nation's on-going criminalization of homosexuality, where same-sex relations can land you in jail for five years. So what does FIFA President Sepp Blatter suggest gay athletes and fans should do during the tournament? Abstain.

If soccer is a sport that's supposedly intent on ridding homophobia from the fields, why did Qatar — which makes being gay, or at least "behaving gay," a crime — get FIFA's approval? Not because of money, insists Blatter. And if gays don't want to be sent to prison in Qatar, they should simply keep things zipped up,says Blatter. "They should refrain from any sexual activities," he told reporters in Johannesburg. Such sage advice!

But it's not like Blatter wants gays to simply not go. "It's another culture and another religion, but in football we have no boundaries," he insists. "We open everything to everybody and I think there shall not be any discrimination against any human beings, being on this side or that side, left or right or whatever. Football is a game that does not affect any discrimination. You may be assured … if people want to watch a match in Qatar in 2022, they will be admitted to matches."

Qatar (and Russia) were selected to host future World Cups during a Dec. 2 vote, and this is the first time Blatter has addressed public outrage of effectively endorsing homophobic nations. Something tells me his suggestion won't go over well.

queerty.com/

Was it Right for Carrie Fisher to Out John Travolta?

AP

Princess Leia has a bone to pick with Tony Manero. In a no-holds-barred interview published Friday on Advocate.com, the perpetually frank Carrie Fisher opined about her gay fans, what it was like to be married to a man who later came out of the closet -- and those career-long rumors concerning John Travolta. "My feeling about John has always been that we know and we don’t care. Look, I’m sorry that he’s uncomfortable with it, and that’s all I can say." But the former Danny Zuko cares -- he cares a lot. The notoriously litigious actor/Scientologist most recently sent a stern warning to Gawker after it published "false and outrageous" claims regarding the star's alleged long-standing bathhouse habits,  a story Travolta's team dismisses as "blatant defamatory lies." 

When Travolta first became a sex symbol 35 years ago, there was no such thing as an openly gay star. Good God, even Liberace played it coy. But in ensuing, more enlightened years, performers who began their careers more circumspectly have transitioned gracefully into successful post-closet careers. It's not as if Ian McKellen and Ellen DeGeneres are hurting for work. And a whole new generation of stars have proven that audiences can fall in love with a smarmy womanizer like "How I Met Your Mother's" Barney Stinson and adore the openly gay Neil Patrick Harris.

Yet the closet -- and the rumors of which big stars inhabit it -- persists. A man like Travolta isn't some bachelor clinging to the story he's "keeping the private life private" with all the tenacity of a CNN anchor. He's a man with a wife and family, a guy whose new son was just born three weeks ago. Professionally, he may don a dress to play Edna Turnblad, but his roles are likelier to be manly man action heroes. And as a Scientologist, he's also a member of a group that defines homosexuality as a "deviation." 

Unlike Gawker's source, Robert Randolph, who told them last month that he'd witnessed Travolta in flagrante in the steam room multiple times, I have no claim to what Travolta does in his personal life. It's possible Carrie Fisher has some evidence beyond her "We know," but she hasn't elaborated. But the response -- to both her and Travolta -- have been divisive and telling. "Why does this worthless drug addict find it necessary to out John Travolta for her own publicitary gains? It's a despicable act," wrote one commenter on Advocate.com. Another  cheered, "I support the outing of anyone who goes about pretending to be what they are not!"

You don't have to look far to see that we still have miles and miles and then a few light-years to go before we are living a homophobia-free culture. For many, the penalties for being gay or even being suspected of being gay are steep and terrifying. Those of us who will never have to be afraid of risking our careers, or relationships with our loved ones, or our very lives can't know what that feels like.

But by the same token, it's tragic that the implication someone is gay is still, in the words of Travolta's lawyers, defamatory, and that the word "gay" is stillused as a slur.  Ellen DeGeneres has often spoken of how she lost everything when she came out. And she got it all back with heavy interest, because living a life that's dishonest isn't just corrosive to the soul; it makes it that much harder for everybody else still standing somewhere between the closet and the big wide world. Because it's a risk I'll never have to take, it makes me appreciate it profoundly when others do. And many, many audiences, gay and straight, have proven again and again that will feel likewise for any star who does.

Was Carrie Fisher wrong to boldly state what's been whispered for the last three decades? Is outing a question of violating someone's privacy, or shining a light on hypocrisy? As difficult as it is to reconcile, the truth is that it's frequently both. It's not wrong to be gay. But being dishonest is a crappy way to live – mostly for the person doing the deceiving. (It's no picnic for the person's children, either.) And while I'm mostly in agreement with Fisher's "don't care" about Travolta or anyone else's habits per se, imagine how many fewer skeletons the world would have if more people took a chance and realized they didn't need their closets.  And what better incentive can we give to actors and anchors and musicians than to tell them, there are so many of us standing right outside, waiting to applaud?

• Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/embeedub More: Mary Elizabeth Williams
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