Marie Osmond recalls the heartbreaking final conversation she shared with her teen son before his suicide

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
 10th November 2010

Marie Osmond has opened up about her son's suicide during an interview with Oprah Winfrey, recalling the last conversation she shared with him before his death. 

Michael, an 18-year-old college student, jumped from the eighth floor of an apartment building in Los Angeles in February.

'When I heard him say to me, I have no friends, it brought back when I went through depression because you really feel so alone,' the 51-year-old says.

Opening up to Oprah: Marie Osmond spoke about her son Michael's suicide

'I'm not a depressed person, but I understand that place, that darkness.

'I told him... Mike, I'm gonna be there Monday and it's gonna be okay,' she continued. 'But depression doesn't wait till Monday.'

Tragic: Marie's son Michael Bryan took his own life in February

When asked if she battles with regret, Osmond says: 'I think there's always 'what if's.' What if I had just put him on a plane and said come be with me, or gone there? I think if you live in 'what if's,' you stop living.'

She said her son's suicide was 'probably the hardest thing' she's been through.

She added that it was a 'calculated decision' for her to return to work within weeks of her son's death because the 'stage is my safe place'.

Osmond says she 'knew that if I didn't get back on stage that I may never get back on stage.'

Osmond and her brother, Donny, took a brief break from their Las Vegas show before returning with a teary tribute to Bryan in March.

The episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show will air in the US tomorrow.

Obama's Tranny Nanny

Photo: Getty Images

Anyone who has read Barack Obama's autobiography, Dreams from my Father, knows that the 44th president of America had a unique and atypical background for a president. Today, courtesy of The New York Times, comes a fabulous new twist to the tale--his nanny duirng his brief time in Jakarta, Indonesia, was a gay man and transvestite. Norimitsu Onishi writes, "His nanny was an openly gay man who, in keeping with Indonesia’s relaxed attitudes toward homosexuality, carried on an affair with a local butcher, longtime residents said. The nanny later joined a group of transvestites called Fantastic Dolls, who, like the many transvestites who remain fixtures of Jakarta’s streetscape, entertained people by dancing and playing volleyball." Just another .

OUT Mag

Nolé Marin NOT Playing by The Rules, Accused of Harassing a Model

Ruh roh! Stylist and fashion consultant Nolé Marin was slapped with a lawsuit yesterday reports the New York Daily News. Model Nicholas Hamman-Howe said the former America's Next Top Model judge made unwanted sexual advances on him, claiming that he'd help launch his career in exchange:

Hamman-Howe, who earned a master's degree in business from Baruch College this year, says in the suit he had never considered a modeling career. But he met Marin in 2007, and the fashion stylist told him he could strike it rich as an underwear or swimwear model because of his "extraordinary physique." 

The meeting led to an October 2007 photo shoot at Marin's apartment where Hamman-Howe says he was subjected to crass come-ons and fondling after he stripped down to his underwear.

Unfortunately, this sort of thing happens often to models just starting out in the industry, but it tends to be mostly women who are preyed upon by men, so this is an interesting twist, should it be true. Marin's lawyers have already responded, saying :"The complaint is rife with so many false allegations - from the mundane to the sensational, that Mr. Hammam-Howe’s attorneys should be ashamed". 

Out Mag.

To be gay is not 'un-Indian'

A gay rights activist in India. Photograph: Sucheta Das/AP

"The law does not run separately from society. It only reflects the perception of the society." So argued India's government in making its case against the decriminalisation of homosexuality. It believed that cultural beliefs of the majority must be enshrined in the law.

But can cultural beliefs alone justify opposition to gay equality? For some (like the Indian government), culture is everything – so legal protection of rights rests at the whim of popular sentiments. For others, law is supreme – thus culture cannot stand in the way of rights that are universal. Or so goes the debate, which performs an either/or of being for or against culture.

But even though law and culture are not the same thing, they are not mutually incompatible. In fact, the law is shaped by wider social and cultural beliefs but also helps to shape them. Rights advocates must take this into account in making the case for gay equality. They must consider conflicting cultural perspectives and, where appropriate, show that these cannot justify discrimination against sexual minorities.

For example, those who lament the decline of the traditional family may be quick to lay blame on gay relationships. Some also object to same-sex marriage on the grounds that it will somehow diminish the institution of marriage. But Hayley Gorenberg, deputy legal director of Lambda Legal, responds that "people who have been kept out of this institution are very committed to it. They approach it with such care and devotion that they can do nothing but strengthen it."

It is within this context that more than 40,000 same-sex couples in the UK have opted to enter into civil partnerships. Numerous studies show that children of gay and lesbian parents are as well adjusted as those raised by heterosexual parents. None of this spells doom for marriage and society.

Appeals to cultural beliefs are also pervasive in India, where homosexuality is alleged to be "western" and against Indian values. Mayur Suresh, who represents Voices Against 377 in the legal action against India's sodomy law, explains that it is difficult to ignore such claims when judges have a tendency to defer to them.

Rather than simply hammering on about the inalienability of rights, Indian activists engage with these cultural assumptions. "The challenge posed by gay rights does not only concern the right to life, due process or non-discrimination. It also calls into question what it means to live and love in a democratic society like India," says Suresh.

Disputing the depiction of homosexuality as "un-Indian", Suresh points out that moralistic laws concerning homosexuality are a legacy of British colonialism. These "alien" laws capture neither what it means to be Indian nor what it means to be moral. Quite the contrary, argues Suresh, who likens discrimination against homosexuals to the practice of untouchability, which was made illegal when India adopted its constitution in 1950.

The Indian government rests its legal case upon cultural intolerance of homosexuality. But there is also at least some tolerance of homosexuality in contemporary India. Recent gay rights demonstrations in New Delhi and Mumbai have seen gay activists joined by heterosexual supporters. Public opinion is, therefore, not as rigid as the government makes it out to be.

Such engagement has borne fruit. The Delhi High Court recently read down the sodomy law based partly on the value of "inclusiveness" – a value "deeply ingrained in Indian society".

It is crucial to consider cultural and religious views in fighting for gay equality. Without that, we may find ourselves ill-equipped in the midst of cultural battles. Gorenberg explains: "We do make a serious attempt not to let the debate over marriage rights be set up to pit religious rights versus civil rights. We don't think that is a valid opposition."

Suresh is cautious about gay rights discourse in India being co-opted by nationalistic discourse. While Hindu, Muslim and Christian groups have voiced opposition to gay equality, the latter two have been stigmatised by some media as backward and anti-Indian. And this in the very country where homosexuality itself is alleged to be a western phenomenon.

What this reveals is that culture is ubiquitous and at conflict with itself. By engaging the tensions within it, we may be able to overcome some barriers on the way to gay equality.

• Hayley Gorenberg and Mayur Suresh recently participated in a panel discussion on "Gay Rights As Human Rights" at the University College London Faculty of Laws.

• 
• • Yuvraj Joshi
  • guardian.co.uk 

Repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Faces Struggle in Congress

 Prospects for Congress to authorize repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy face new uncertainties as time runs out for the Senate to act and strong objections remain among Republicans and the most senior ranks of the military.

Enlarge This Image

Alex Brandon/Associated Press

Senators Carl Levin, left, and John McCain, of the Armed Services Committee are players in the “don't ask, don't tell” debate.

The murky picture on Capitol Hill comes even as Defense SecretaryRobert M. Gates said for the first time that he would like to see the Senate vote to authorize the repeal before the end of the year, and a not-yet-released Pentagon survey of active-duty forces and their families shows that the majority do not care if gay men and women serve openly, which the policy forbids.

The new commandant of the Marine Corps does care, and he was swiftly rebuked after making unusual comments about troops’ sleeping arrangements over the weekend.

In the meantime, a federal appeals court in California is considering whether the ban is constitutional.

The possibility that Congress will not act this year has further aggravated tensions between gay rights groups andPresident Obama, who campaigned on a promise to allow gay men and women to serve openly.

There are two main forces working against repeal on Capitol Hill.

One is the simple matter of the Congressional calendar. There will be very little time in the lame-duck session that begins next week for the Senate to vote to authorize the repeal of the policy and reconcile its measure with a version passed by the House.

The other obstacle is in the concerns of Senator John McCain of Arizona, the senior Republican on the Armed Services Committee. Although Mr. McCain has said in the past that he would consider authorizing a repeal of the law once the Pentagon review was complete, he faced a challenge from the right in his recent re-election fight and campaigned, in part, on a promise to preserve the 17-year-old law that requires service members to keep their sexual orientation secret. Mr. McCain, 74, a naval aviator who was shot down and imprisoned in Hanoi in the Vietnam War, has continued to press against repeal.

Mr. McCain and other Senate Republicans blocked consideration of a defense bill in September that included a provision allowing repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” and in recent days he has been in negotiations with Senator Carl Levin, the Michigan Democrat and chairman of the Armed Services Committee, on whether the “don’t ask, don’t tell” provision should be stripped from the bill entirely.

The White House communications director, Dan Pfeiffer, issued a statement saying the administration opposed stripping the provision from the annual military policy bill and remained committed to ending the ban.

Gay rights groups have said that if that occurs, repealing “don’t ask, don’t tell” would be difficult if not impossible this year and even more unlikely in 2011, when Republicans will be in control of the House.

The Pentagon is due to make public a report of how to carry out a repeal — including the survey of its active-duty forces — on Dec. 1, which could create momentum for repealing the ban. But the Senate may run out of time, given urgent issues including the expiringBush-era tax cuts and a spending measure to keep the federal government running.

The chiefs of the Army, Navy and Air Force have all expressed some reluctance about ending the ban, as has the former commandant of the Marine Corps, but the comments of the current commandant, Gen. James F. Amos, are the most vivid to date.

In comments to reporters in California this weekend, General Amos said that ending the ban in the middle of two wars would involve “risk” for Marines, who, unlike other service members who generally have private quarters, share rooms to promote unity. “There is nothing more intimate than young men and young women — and when you talk of infantry, we’re talking our young men — laying out, sleeping alongside of one another and sharing death, fear and loss of brothers,” said General Amos, 63. “I don’t know what the effect of that will be on cohesion. I mean, that’s what we’re looking at. It’s unit cohesion, it’s combat effectiveness.”

General Amos and the other armed service chiefs are reviewing a draft of the Pentagon survey.

The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen effectively rebuked General Amos when he told reporters in Melbourne, Australia, “I was surprised by what he said and surprised he said it publicly.” Admiral Mullen, who supports repeal, also called General Amos on Sunday night to speak directly with him about the comments, said General Amos’s spokesman, Maj. Joseph M. Plenzler. Major Plenzler said he did not know the tone of the call or specifics about the conversation.

Mr. Gates, in his own comments to reporters en route to security and diplomatic talks in Australia, said, “I would like to see the repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ but I’m not sure what the prospects are and we’ll just have to see.”

On Capitol Hill, Jim Manley, a spokesman for Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, the Democratic majority leader, said Mr. Reid remained committed to the repeal.

“He, of course, can’t do it alone,” Mr. Manley said. “The senator needs Republicans to at least agree to have a debate on this issue, a debate he firmly believes the Senate should have.”

Gay rights groups said that they would continue to pressure Mr. Obama to push the Senate to act. “Obama’s central promise to the gay community was to get this law repealed,” said Richard Socarides, who was an adviser to President Bill Clinton on gay issues. “If he can’t deliver on this, one way or another, through repeal or court action or executive order, all bets are off.”

Mr. McCain and Mr. Levin did not provide any details about their discussions of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and the defense bill.

Tara Andringa, a spokeswoman for Mr. Levin, said in a statement on Monday that “Senator Levin has been discussing with the Defense Department when the report relating to the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, due to the secretary of defense on Dec. 1, will be made available to Congress and the public, and he has also been discussing with Senator McCain how to proceed.”

Most Democrats support the repeal and at least one Republican, Senator Susan Collins of Maine, already voted in favor of authorizing the repeal in committee proceedings.

Mr. Reid could try to bring the defense bill to the floor under an open amendment process, a move that Republicans presumably would not block but that would mean committing a large block of time to debate. In that case, opponents of repeal would not be able to pass an amendment stripping it out of the bill.

NYTimes.com  By ELISABETH BUMILLER and DAVID M. HERSZENHORN

Cheney to Bush: My daughter is gay

When George W. Bush was on the verge of picking Dick Cheney as his running mate in 2000, Cheney felt obliged to tell Bush that his daughter Mary was gay, Bush reports in his new memoir, "Decision Points."

Bush insisted in his interview with Matt Lauer that aired Monday that Cheney was testing Bush's personal tolerance, not warning of a potential backlash by the GOP base.

Here's the passage from the book:

By the time Dick came to the ranch to deliver his final report, I had decided to make another run at him. As he finished his briefing, I said, "Dick, you are the perfect running mate."

While I had dropped hints before, he could tell I was serious this time. Finally, he said, "I need to talk to Lynne." I took that as a promising sign. He told me that he had had three heart attacks and that he and Lynne were happy with their life in Dallas. Then he said, "Mary is gay." I could tell what he meant by the way he said it. Dick clearly loved his daughter. I felt he was gauging my tolerance. "If you have a problem with this, I'm not your man," he was essentially saying.

I smiled at him and said, "Dick, take your time. Please talk to Lynne. And I could not care less about Mary's orientation."

This was not the first time in recent Republican Party history that the issue of homosexuality came up during a VP search. Ronald Reagan reportedly passed over Jack Kemp, who was dogged by unsubstantiated rumors that he was gay for decades, for the vice presidential spot in 1980 because of those rumors. 

Bush of course went on to select Cheney as his running mate, and then repeatedly used his opposition to gay rights to galvanize the Republican base.

JUSTIN ELLIOTT
Salon...

On 'Joy Behar,' Pastor Jim Swilley Questions Ted Haggard's Straight Claim

PUBLISHED: NOVEMBER 10, 2010

Megachurch Pastor Jim Swilley provides convincing testimony that being
 gay is not a choice, and says he's unconvinced that Ted Haggard has
successfully altered his sexual orientation.

The twice-married father of four founded Church in the Now in Rockdale
 County, Georgia 25 years ago. The 52-year-old Swilley told his flock
 last month that he's gay and that he has known about his orientation 
since he was a child.

Appearing Tuesday on cabler HLN's Joy Behar Show, Swilley told Behar
 that he witnessed in his youth failed church attempts to alter gay people's
 sexual orientation, and questioned Ted Haggard's claims that therapy
 has freed him from his gay urges. Haggard is building a new church after
 he lost his Colorado-based congregation in 2006 over a sex scandal
 involving a male prostitute.

“Back in the day, we had people coming to us when I worked with my
 father. Our church was right in the middle of the gay community, so
 people would come and would want to be delivered. And so, we would
 take them through that. We would pray for them, get them married off, whatever.”

“Every one of those people now, they're gay. They're openly gay. It didn't
 change anything.”

“I'm not saying he's [Haggard] lying,” Swilley added. “I'm just saying if
someone came to me and asked 'Do you think that's possible?' I would
 say no.”

BY ON TOP MAGAZINE STAFF 

Where Does Ricky Martin Wants to get married At?

Ricky Martin might be the most famous gay man on the planet. The international pop star, who made history by coming out earlier this year, is barnstorming the national media with appearances on talk shows left and right to promote his new memoir, Me. He's done The View. He's scheduled for The Ellen DeGeneres Show. And last night, he stopped by and paid Larry King's suspenders a visit. What did he have to say?

That while he could go anywhere in the world to marry his partner, he wants to do so in his home of Puerto Rico. And he's not going to stop speaking out until marriage equality is the law of the land.

"Yes, we could go to Spain and get married. We can go to Argentina and get married. But why do we have to go somewhere else? Why can't I do it in my country where the laws are - you know, protecting me?" Martin said. ""I can go to Spain. I have many friends in Spain. And get married. And make it very beautiful and symbolic. But... I (can't) do it in the backyard of my house. I want to have that option. I don't want to be a second class citizen anymore. I pay my taxes. Why can't I have that right?"

Here, here, Mr. Martin! And what perfect timing to deliver such a stirring message, since yesterday marked the latest in a series of legal challenges to that archaic yet discriminatory law known as the Defense of Marriage Act.

As we mentioned yesterday, the group Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) filed a lawsuit in Connecticut challenging Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act. They brought the lawsuit on behalf of a group of plaintiffs who are legally married in various New England states, yet do not have their relationship recognized by the federal government. It's the second challenge to the Defense of Marriage Act brought forward by GLAD, which earlier this year won a case in Massachusetts federal court, when Judge Joseph Tauro ruled that parts of the Defense of Marriage Act were unconstitutional. That case is now on appeal in the federal courts.

A second case was filed in New York, on behalf of an 81-year-old widow who, because the federal government didn't recognize her same-sex marriage, had to pay $350,000 to the federal government in the form of an estate bill. Imagine being told that you owe the federal government $350,000 at the age of 81, all because of who you loved in this world. Sound outrageous? Indeed.

So when Ricky Martin says that he pays taxes, and wants the full plate of civil rights offered to straight people, he's speaking on behalf of generations of people, both Puerto Ricans and Americans alike.

Michael Jones is a Change.org Editor. He has worked in the field of human rights communications for a decade, most recently for Harvard Law School.

Robert Pattison Turned Down $1mil To Be The face Of Burberry

Allegedly Robert Pattison turned down a $1 million deal to be the face of Burberry. 

Oh dear! While we've come to understand that the term 'smize' is a Tyra-ism for 'smiling with your eyes', it turns out that Urban Dictionary has a much more randy definition for the word.

Bergdorf Goodmans was flooded this past weekend! The fashion Gods were testing your dedication  to designer goods. Did you pass?

Johanna Cox, the contestant who won a job at  Elleon the reality shot Stylista, quit her job and explained it in an illuminating blog post. 

Amanda Lepore shows us how to fly in style. 

File this under gross, but totally expected: The Jackson brothers are launching a clothing line. 

Editor wars! Hugo Lindgren of New York Times Magazine and his former boss Adam Moss of New York Magazine -- friends or foes? 

OUT Mag

Film examines struggle of gay athlete Glenn Burke

Comcast SportsNet Bay Area

Berkeley native Glenn Burke played for the A's in the 1970s.

 

There are moments when Glenn Burke's story flows with sporting achievement and playful exuberance. Friends and former teammates rave about his athletic ability and reminisce about his gregarious demeanor (a cross between Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor, as one friend puts it).
But the tale soon turns tumultuous - and reaches a sad, premature ending. Burke's journey as major-league baseball's first openly gay player still makes for a compelling narrative in "Out. The Glenn Burke Story," a documentary to air at 8 p.m. Wednesday on Comcast SportsNet Bay Area. Also Wednesday, the documentary will screen at 7:30 p.m. as part of a fundraiser at the Castro Theatre, with doors opening at 6:30 p.m. At 9:15 p.m., a live town-hall meeting at the Castro will be telecast on CSNBA.
Burke made little secret of his sexuality during his time with the Dodgers and A's in the late 1970s. Several former teammates contend this bothered management of both clubs, to the point where the Dodgers traded Burke to Oakland and then-A's manager Billy Martin later ridiculed him in front of his teammates.
He abruptly retired from baseball in 1980, publicly revealed his homosexuality two years later and landed in San Francisco's Castro district, where he initially was welcomed warmly. But his life there eventually spun out of control, sending him spiraling toward drug use, prison time and AIDS.
He died of complications from the disease in May 1995, at age 42.
Doug Harris, an independent Bay Area filmmaker, co-produced the documentary with Sean Maddison of Comcast. Harris brought a unique perspective to the project: He grew up in Berkeley, as Burke did, and befriended him during summertime pickup basketball games at Cal's Harmon Gym in the 1970s.
Harris sat down with The Chronicle on Friday to talk about Burke and the documentary.
Q: What do you remember about the first time you met Glenn?
A: The first time I saw him was at Harmon, and Glenn was on the side waiting for winners. He took the ball, triple-pumped and slammed it backward - and he wasn't that tall. I was like, "Oh, my God!" I'd never seen anyone do something like that. Then when I started watching him play, he was the best, hands down.
Q: One thing highlighted in the documentary is his outsize personality - how evident was that during those games at Harmon?
A: Glenn had a dominant personality, but it was so much fun watching him play basketball. We called the trash talk "hoo-rah," and the hoo-rah on the court made you smile. There was nothing about him that made you sullen or mad. Shooty (Babitt) said it best in the film: Glenn was the kind of guy who would beat you up on the court, then take you out to get a soda or chips. He motivated and inspired a group of athletes who came along behind him at Berkeley High. He was like an icon in Berkeley, for all of us.
Q: As Glenn moved along through professional baseball, how aware were you of his lifestyle and the difficulty it caused him in that world?
A: I didn't find out Glenn was gay until I read about it in Inside Sports magazine, and by that time (1982) I was a senior in college at Central Washington. I remember catching hell from a lot of my classmates and teammates. They were ragging on me - "You're from Berkeley, too; you must be gay," all that kind of stuff. It was really a trip.
Q: Did these people know you were friends with him?
A: No, they didn't know. They may have heard me talking about the great players from Berkeley, and it turns out all of a sudden one of them is gay.
Q: Why do you think Dusty Baker, Reggie Smith and others interviewed in the film were so candid about Glenn's lifestyle and how it impacted his career?
A: They loved Glenn. But the thing about those guys is, they're still working in baseball.
Q: So they were still trying to be careful about what they said?

A: The people who didn't agree to interviews were the ones trying to toe the line, like Don Sutton. We had two opportunities to talk to him and he declined - and he was a teammate of Glenn's and supposedly they were real tight.

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Q: You talked about being hassled just because you were from the same place as Glenn. Before making this documentary, what was your sense of what his life was like in baseball? And how did your view change in the wake of talking to all these people about him?
A: I never really gave it much thought at the time, because I wasn't in baseball's inner circles. But after doing this film, I think Glenn could have been a much better player if he didn't have the stress, this weight on his chest of constantly dealing with who he was. ... The players talk about it in the film. He wouldn't go with them after games; he would always disappear and do his own thing. But he never hid who he was in the clubhouse. Everybody knew this guy was gay. He wasn't sugarcoating anything.
Q: What was the most compelling example for you of the challenges he faced?
A: To me, the heaviest part of the film didn't even deal with baseball. It was probably the part where Glenn is here in San Francisco, and he's in a car accident. He was an icon in the gay community, and once he has this car accident - and he can't run, jump and dunk a basketball anymore - then he's not an icon anymore. ... Once he got hit by that car and he couldn't perform, they kind of shoved him to the side. To me, that spiraled into his heavy drug use and his crash and burn. So that's the part that really grabbed my heart. People have to realize the gay community turned on him just as much as baseball did, if you really look at it.
Q: The macho culture of professional sports does not exactly encourage a gay athlete to "come out," even in 2010. Could a pro athlete today acknowledge his homosexuality publicly, as an active player?
A: This is just my opinion: What Glenn went through could not happen today. Why? Because of gay rights and powerful attorneys. So if you're a player and you choose to be openly gay - but not necessarily come out, like if you were in Glenn's situation today - you could argue discrimination. Can you imagine a lawsuit against a professional sports team, if they did anything today like what they did to Glenn Burke?
Q: In a practical sense, though, would any player take that risk?
A: I think there are a lot of gay players in pro sports today. They're gay, but they're in the closet. The question is: Would somebody ever come out? We asked everyone we interviewed, and they were all pretty much in line in saying it would have to be a megastar, a superstar player who would be extraordinarily valuable to the team. Glenn was only a few years into his career and he was working his way up. So would it have been different if he was hitting .315 with 25 home runs? Would the Dodgers have gone along with it then? Maybe.

http://www.sfgate.com